The role of divorce mediation goes beyond simple reconciliation between two individuals. It is an important role and can often lead to favorable results. Ending a marriage is a big decision and should be carefully considered before moving ahead with the process. Apart from emotional problems, things like assets, property, business and children also play an important part.
It is often suggested for couples who experience stress and trauma while going through divorce proceedings to seek the help of a therapist. It is not really the job of a divorce mediator to play the role of a therapist but when the need arises, they can be one in several respects.
How does therapy help during divorce?
An individual going through a divorce may feel depressed and emotionally detached from those around him/her. Although therapy is recommended for such individuals, they can feel scared at the thought of seeing a therapist. They feel they have developed a psychological problem or have become mentally ill. In such cases, if the divorce mediator plays the role of a quasi-therapist who listens to their concerns and issues, the individual feels more comfortable and opens up.
It has often happened that due to depression, divorcees have ended up making terrible decisions that they wouldn’t have normally made. The main job of a divorce mediator is to pacify misunderstandings between the couple and provide a moral support. The main job of a therapist is to understand an individual’s mental state and provide solutions. Sometimes, the two roles overlap and then it becomes the job of a mediator to handle both.
Therapy is also important for children whose parents are going through a divorce because the situation affects them too. Research has shown that children who witness divorce are more likely to experience mental trauma than other children. They are also more likely to perform badly in academics and other activities. Divorce mediators try locating key problem areas and try providing a possible solution.
Conclusion
A divorce can become ugly and individuals going through the process can becoming depressed, and mediation is a good solution. Therapy can be required because it helps reduce stress and can lead to reconciliation as well. Divorce mediators can often provide some form of therapy if they feel that their clients are making bad and unreasonable decisions due to divorce stress and trauma.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
For one of the spouses in a long-term marriage, there can be benefits of divorcing after such long-term marriage versus divorcing after a short marriage over the other spouse.
You stay in California and you want to get divorced. But you have not completed 10 years of marriage. Well, maybe you should before you think about a divorce, unless of course you need that divorce urgently. If you do plan on hanging around for a little while and if you are eligible then there are lots of benefits. According to the 10-year rule in California there are many benefits which you can get if your marriage lasted for a decade. The rule has been misinterpreted by many as a means of making money after divorce but it is not so. The rule makes sure that the under-earning spouse in the relationship is not completely ignored.
Alimony
The alimony depends a lot of the duration of marriage. If you earn lower than your spouse, then the court will let you enjoy spousal benefits from your partner, provided the income gap is big. The longer your marriage, the more chances that spousal support becomes permanent. If you have been out of job for a long time, then the court will order for a rehabilitative alimony so that you can find yourself a job. Courts want the under-earning spouse to improve his/her earning to a level where he/she can sustain himself/herself.
Marital home
The court assumes that couples who have been married for a long time don’t have to pay mortgage. If you are one of them then you have a lot to cheer. Paying off the mortgage means having an asset that is free of liens. But if you still have mortgage then it must be cleared off by the spouse who will keep the house. The house will be refinanced such that there is sufficient amount to pay off the lien and provide the other partner with half of the house value. Sometimes, when the income of one spouse drops down to practically nothing after selling the house, the court may directly award it to the other spouse.
Social security
In some case, you might receive benefits from the Social Security Administration after your divorce after a long marriage. But it depends a lot on your spouse and how much he/she will earn on retirement. Sometimes, you will receive the benefits during your retirement age. If you are eligible then you might receive half of it. But these benefits are only applicable if you choose to stay unmarried after your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Child custody can be a big issue if you are in the military. Deployments and relocations are frequent and when you’re constantly on the move, it becomes obvious that you cannot spent time with your children. It leads to custody battles and you may have to temporarily give up your custody. Military parents have faced this issue for a long time now and the State of California have developed laws that help such parents.
Making a family care plan
Making a family care plan is very important in divorce cases involving children. If you know someone who is in the military or if yourselves are in the military, then you know the importance of a family plan. A family care plan creates a set of guidelines to take care of your children. It describes the care provider and the roles he/she needs to play. It includes food, education, healthcare, clothing and other emotional support that will be provided to your children during your absence. It also includes short-term and long-term custody and the name of the person(s) who will provide it.
Another important aspect of creating a family care plan is keeping things transparent between you, your children, and the court.
Custody issues during relocation
Child custody is not a subject of federal laws but depends on state laws. Every state has their own set of laws to answer child custody issues. When you get deported or relocated, courts make decision based on these laws. In California, before you leave you must show the amount of support you can provide for your children. The family care plan plays an important role because you are already prepared. In case you fail to provide any proof, your leave might get delayed.
In case your relocation is not pre-planned then the court might take it into consideration and modify the court order.
Senate Bill 1082
The Senate Bill 1082 was passed in 2005 by then Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Bill was passed to ensure that parents who serve in the military are protected from child custody battles. It provides certain benefits and helps children of military personnel from legal problems.
This Bill was one of the first solutions provided to military parents who otherwise face huge problems. If you are in the military you are entitled to such protects.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Child custody for legal guardianship can be tricky. 90% of the time, biological parents have the upper hand in a child custody case. But in certain cases, non-biological parents may be given custody rights of the children. There are many factors which the court takes into consideration and then decides. If you are a non-biological parent looking for a way to win a custody battle, then keep reading. At the end of it you will understand what you need in order to win the custody battle.
Under what grounds
One of the grounds under which non-biological parents can get child custody is the court finding biological parents to be unfit. In cases where the court finds that biological parents are not good parents, the custody is awarded to non-biological parents. The court looks at what’s best for the child and then declares who should take custody. Other grounds include accident cases or instances where the biological parents go missing. In such cases, the court hands over the custody of children to non-biological parents.
To be considered as a non-biological parent, you must have spent a certain amount of time with the child. You need to be considered as “family” by both the child and the court.
Non-biological parental rights for fathers
If you are close to a child and the child considers you as a father, then the court may give you custody rights even though you are not the biological parent.
It is often presumed that biological parents are natural custody holders and in a number of cases parents win custody battles because of it. But a court of law looks upon parents as someone who can take care of the child and who the child is comfortable with. If you are a non-biological father battling for the custody of a child, then remember that your relationship with the child is the most important factor.
More than two legal parents in California
Recently, in California, a law was made that allowed a child to have two or more legal parents. The law is unique to the state of California because having three parents is very uncommon.
The bill was passed after three people – a man and two women, all met the criteria to become legal parents. At first, it was thought to be a weird idea but then the court re-considered and accepted the “rule of two”.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce courts in California work under the same rules used to courts to tackle other disputes. It is seen frequently that such courts are unable to function properly in solving disputes related to divorce. Collaborative or mediation law can turn out to be better in such cases.
Court alternatives
Divorce issues can be resolved by three ways. All of them are regarded as much superior to the court methods.
Work out solutions together
Both you and your partner or spouse may sit down and then reach agreements on how the possessions and debts be divided. You two should also decide whether you or your spouse will pay support to the other and the amount of money. In case you two have children, how they will be raised. To some couples, these can be easily solved and could be done in a single meeting. Many couples may find the proceedings difficult and may complete this task over a number of meetings.
Mediation
In such a case, the couple meets with another neutral person. This third person is termed a mediator. This person will help the both of you through the complete process of reaching a particular agreement on possessions, child custody, debts and support.
Collaborative law
Both your spouse and you choose a specially trained attorney who is proficient in collaborative law. This divorce method is growing in popularity. This process is dependent on a pledge made in writing by both spouses where they reach the agreement on divorce terms without visiting a court. It will be agreed that in case either party disrupts the agreement, and moves towards a court proceeding, both the attorneys should withdraw from that case and the spouses should hire new lawyers to restart the process.
When court is the best option
There can be situations where these alternatives may not work. In such cases, taking the matter to court could be the only way out. This especially happens if there is a combative counsel. This involves one of the spouses to act upon directions dictated by an aggressive lawyer. The latter has in all probability convinced the client that collaborative law will not generate a good outcome- and judges are the best way forward. In case your spouse has such a lawyer, then prepare for expensive and unproductive days at court.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A father must first determine whether he is biological father of minor child if he is not married to the mother of the child. If it is conclusively proved that he is the biological father, he gets certain rights when it comes to the minor child. Almost under every circumstance, if a father has been declared legal father of the minor child, then the father’s name will be inked on the birth certificate of that child. This may occur even if the mother was already married to another person at conception or birth. The surname of the father, in addition, will be inserted in the certificate of birth as the surname of the child. A biological father, even if he is unmarried, has complete right to get custody of minor child. He also has equal rights as married fathers. The unmarried biological father can get a hearing so that the court can determine his fitness when it comes to the custody issue.
Authority as father
Once a father gets confirmed as the biological father of a child by a law court, then he becomes natural guardian of minor child. It may be, as under a few circumstances, he could have all authority to obtain legal action on the behalf of his minor child.
If it is seen that the minor child’s father has no wish to contest the custody of minor child, he will continue to enjoy other rights when it comes to that minor child. For example, the father continues to have custodial rights regarding the minor child. Circumstances in specific cases vary and will determine whether the father will have complete visitation rights or whether the court will restrict the visitation. In a few cases, it may be important for the father to develop relationship with minor child prior to have an unsupervised visitation. Another concerning factor is the minor child’s age and the experience of the father in the rearing of the child.
Parental responsibility
The biological father also enjoys right to have a shared parental responsibility when it comes to concerning minor child. It is important for the child’s mother to consult and then discuss the number of issues that concern their minor child, like religion, vacations, illnesses and doctors among others. A father has the right of information about the minor child’s activities and also the right to participate in such activities.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Talking to your little one about your divorce can be rightly touted as one of the most awkward and stressful conversations you will ever have with him. It is perplexing for your child to understand the concept of a broken family and why he doesn’t get to live with both his parents anymore. Although, a majority of school going kids are familiar with the idea of single parent families, with their friends or peers having one of their parent living apart, it is difficult for them to accept it as a personal fate. However, by incorporating strategic planning based on honesty and emotional reassurance, you can take the sting out of the harsh reality and make them accept your separation for what it really is.
Break the news on a unified front
It is best to chalk out a suitable plan with your spouse and talk to your kid about the divorce together. It is more comforting for a child when he sees that both his parents are together in the decision of separating and have a mutual understanding over it. When both his mommy and daddy tell him that they are separating because of the constant unhappiness in the family due to their conflicts, it is easier for a child to accept the divorce as a practical reality of life and refrain from blaming himself for the split.
Reassure them of your love
The one obvious concern of a child witnessing a parental separation is that he will no longer receive their love and care. It is essential for you to comfort your child with simple words of reassurance and make him understand that a divorce will not change your compassion for him. You must make it a point to make your child realize that it is not his fault that you are no longer going to live together as a family.
Spare them the ugly details
Sharing inappropriate intricacies of your marital conflicts and divorce will do your child no good and only make the situation worse by leaving him confused. It is difficult for young children to understand how disliking each other can become so grave a problem that you decide to part ways. Bad mouthing your spouse for their unreasonable behavior, or showcasing your feelings of resentment and anger in front of your little one will make the situation even more hostile for him.
The emotional traumas of childhood can stay within the psyche of a child and make him grow up with skewed notions about life and its offerings. It is therefore important to help your child deal with the negativity of a divorce and accept it as a part of life rather than the end of it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Although you might not be comfortable with taking relationship advice from hot shot celebs and famous personalities, it goes without saying that they do have a better understanding of how divorce litigation works. Since a majority of celeb divorces involve enormous assets and property, and also several intricate details such as kids from another marriage or extra marital affairs, we have a lot to learn from the way they handle their separations. Let us have a look at some of the lessons that we can learn from high profile divorce cases.
Prepare yourself for a divorce
If there is one thing that we can learn from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorce is avoiding impulsive decisions and cautiously planning out a strategy before taking the huge plunge. Although the news might have come as a surprise for Tom, Katie had planned out every single detail of her litigation well in advance. She knew what she wanted out of the divorce and consulted professional attorneys to help her achieve her goal. Instead of rushing things, she took her time in deciding New York as the place to file for a divorce, since the family laws in the city were likely to be more favorable for her. So if you are thinking of divorcing your spouse, it is advisable to sleep over it, take your time and do your homework before filing a petition in the court of law.
Try to reach a mutual agreement
The recent Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow split brought forth their intention of living apart but continuing to co-parent their children in their best interests. The case reiterates the importance of having amicable discussions with your spouse and obtaining mutual agreements over the various significant aspects of a divorce such as child custody and visitation. It is advisable to keep your disputes aside for a bit and actually focus on the needs and expectations of your kids as more important than your split.
Sign a prenup
Signing a prenup with your spouse-to-be is a great way of eliminating the chances of any additional conflicts and disagreements in the event of a divorce. They are designed not only to protect the interests of both parties but also carry out a fair and square division of separate and marital property. There have been several high profile divorce cases such as that of Mel Gibson, wherein a lack of a prenup led one of the spouses to pay millions of dollars as alimony to the other party.
The take away here is, that no matter how eager you might be to start a life away from your spouse, it is always best to use your logic and patience in planning for a divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce is not only emotionally stressful, but also has a major impact on your financial health. Many times, the enormous expenditure on divorce litigation can leave you devoid of finances required to lead a happy and productive life. However, contrary to popular belief, the divorce costs not only include the attorney fees, but also the hiring costs for experts that are required during the litigation to evaluate your property or determine you potential for visitation and custody related settlements. Here are a few simple ways in which you can significantly minimize your divorce costs.
Try to be as amicable as possible
Now, since you and your spouse intend on separating from each other, it is quite difficult for either of you to maintain a cordial association with the other partner. However, the idea here is to minimize the conflicts and disagreements stemming out of personal resentment and ego, and have a common word on custody, support and property division related issues. The more you agree with each other, the easier a lawsuit will be on your pockets. You can even go to the length of getting an uncontested divorce without both of you having to hire separate attorneys for fighting the case.
Select your attorney wisely
Owing to your massive ego and hunger to win against your spouse, you might be tempted to hire the priciest lawyer in the country. However, the fact is that an expensive lawyer need not be the most suitable for your specific case. An attorney must be chosen on the basis of his area of expertise, skills and experience, rather than his consultation fee. To cite an example, if you and your spouse have an agreement for your child’s custody and visitation related issues, there is absolutely no point in spending extra money on a custody specialist.
Communicate efficiently
A divorce lawyer will be charging you for every visit and consultation that you set up with him. It is therefore advisable to reduce that extra expenditure by minimizing your communication with him and trying to include as many issues possible in one conversation. Refrain from calling your lawyer up instantly or sending that email without thinking a little. Instead you can jot down all your concerns on a piece of paper and call him up only when you have multiple issues at hand.
Mediate your divorce
Divorce mediation is a great way to resolve divorces amicably and at the fraction of the cost of traditional divorce cases by using a neutral, trained mediator knowledgeable and experienced in divorce and family law.
Remember, all the money that you save in getting extricated from the clutches of your insensitive spouse, will be helpful in starting a fresh life from scratch later.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce mediation is a very practical, and sensible alternative to fighting out in the court. A divorce mediation can be successful as long both the parties involved remain reasonable. The different types of divorce mediation concepts are:
Evaluative divorce mediation
In evaluative divorce mediation, the mediator, who has specific and deep knowledge about divorce laws, would hear each parties arguments, and identify the weaknesses and strengths. He/she would then inform the parties about the possible outcomes should they take their case to the court. With both the parties consent, the mediator then would propose what he/she believes is a fair settlement. The parties can then accept it or reject it.
Comprehensive divorce mediation
In comprehensive divorce mediation, the mediator would cover all the aspects of the divorce. Both the parties would agree upon the division of the property, division of debt, child custody and support, spouse support, and so on. After that, both the parties would sign the comprehensive agreement. In order for the comprehensive divorce mediation to be a success, both the parties would have to agree on all the divorce issues.
Facilitative divorce mediation
In facilitative divorce mediation, the mediator would only facilitate the conversation between the parties involved. They will not evaluate the case or direct the parties to any specific settlement. The parties will decide what and all will be discussed and how the issues can be resolved. The mediator may outline the structure for the discussion and may offer informed suggestions based on his/her experience, however, that will be the extent to which he/she will get involved in the mediation process.
Virtual divorce mediation
In virtual divorce mediation, the entire mediation process is conducted online with the help of applications such as Skype, Facetime, and so on. The parties involved need not be present physically at the mediator’s office, they can just login from their home or office. Virtual divorce mediation is especially helpful for busy professionals, people with disabilities, and people who are out of the state/country. Virtual divorce mediation is cost-effective as well.
Transformative divorce mediation
In transformative divorce mediation, the mediator encourages the parties involved to have a constructive, and practical discussion. He/she encourages the parties who may be intimidated by their partner’s presence to speak out freely, and confidently. In this type of divorce mediation, importance is not given to reaching a settlement but to discuss all the issues involved practically and go about resolving them in a practical, and respectable manner.
The aim of mediation, no matter which type of mediation, is to avoid the nasty side of divorce, and reach a solution in a very civilized manner.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
The role of divorce mediation goes beyond simple reconciliation between two individuals. It is an important role and can often lead to favorable results. Ending a marriage is a big decision and should be carefully considered before moving ahead with the process. Apart from emotional problems, things like assets, property, business and children also play an important part.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
