There are many emotions brought by a divorce. This is especially true when the couple has had a bad time in their marriage. It is normal to go through feelings such ad fear, fury, sadness, and anxiety. However, you need to remember that the degree of emotions will slowly subside with the passage of time. So, when you are undergoing a divorce process it is better to be calm. So do not get agitated as this would only spoil your health. Studies have shown that people who are composed during such times are better equipped to manage the difficulties that accompany a divorce process. Do not continue a blame game with your partner as nothing would come out of it eventually.
Stop being resentful
Divorce should not be looked upon as a means of settling scores or a way to take revenge against your spouse. If you regard the resolution of your marriage as a battle, there is a high possibility that the divorce process will be more expensive and time-consuming. It is recommended to go for divorce mediation so that you can avoid the long and tiring courtroom proceedings and end up hating one another even more. Studies have also proved that it can help to support the needs of the kids as well as getting emotional satisfaction.
Focus on a smooth split
In many cases, it is not unusual that you do not want to talk to your spouse from whom you intend to part soon. However, despite the ill-feelings, aim for a smooth split. Cooperation, as well as proper communication, will help in making the process healthier and less stressful for both the parties, Moreover when you seek the help of a psychologist and a divorce mediator, you and our estranged partner can avoid conflicts and bitterness.
Do not neglect your health
This is a phase when you must take good care of your health. Speak to your family and friends for comfort and support. Alternatively, the idea of joining a formal support group also makes sense as they help you to cope up with your pent up emotions. There are many people who begin a fresh chapter after their divorce by taking up new hobbies or indulging in activities they had not attempted before. Even you can start doing the same. Make sure to eat well and be physically fit. When the divorce gets nasty, your spouse and you start despising one another even more. Now, that is not good as you still have joint responsibilities as parents. So, try to be amicable while parting since it is good for your sanity, purse, and kids.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is a time of great hardship and both individuals have a hard time dealing with the reality. However, for some it is easier to accept the fact more than others. For young couples, who haven’t stayed married for a longer time, dealing with divorce is relatively easier than for gray couples. For gray couples, a divorce is more than just a physical separation from their partner. It is a new way of life and for some it can be very tough. Also, there is the question of property and asset separation which is more likely to be much more difficult for gray couples than for young couples.
Mediation is commonly used in divorce cases to ensure that the whole thing goes smoothly. But mediators might use different approach for young and gray couples because the issues are different.
Mediation for young couples
Lawyers who mediate young couples will often focus on the importance of marriage rather than a divorce. Often, mediators will offer couples to go for a separation instead. Since, the marriage period is small, a separation might help them understand what it means to stay apart from each other. Also, mediators will discuss the pros and cons of getting a divorce at an early stage. If the mediator becomes convinced that reconciliation is not possible, then he will focus on the advantages of getting a divorce. It is expected that younger couples won’t have children or much property and therefore, the divorce becomes much easier.
Mediation for gray couples
Gray couples have spent a longer time in marriage and their decision to divorce must be a strong one. However, mediators will often ask couples to reconsider the case and look for options to avoid a divorce. Most gray couples will have children and their assets and properties will also be huge. On top of that there will be the issue of taxes. So, overall, things like child custody, property division, alimony, tax and debt will play a major part in the divorce.
Conclusion
Mediation is important for every couple planning to get a divorce. However, not every couple will require the same type of mediation. For younger couples, the approach will be slightly different than it will be for gray couples. Things like huge assets, child custody, tax and debt won’t be a big issue for young couples as it will be for gray couples. Mediators must consider every factor before mediating.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Nowadays, divorce has become a common issue and couples who are unhappy with the marriage head for a divorce. Mediation plays a big part in divorce proceedings. Often, if the couple have not undergone a mediation program, the court will appoint one for them. But court-appointed mediation does not work as well as mediators who work separately. One of the biggest reasons is that court appointed mediators are given a time limit and often that limit is not enough to complete the mediation process properly. Mediation is given so that couples understand the divorce proceeding and what is required from them. In some cases, mediation processes also end up saving the marriage.
In most cases, one person acts as the mediation lawyer for both individuals. However, in some cases, two mediators are used.
When one of you is a close friend of the mediator
It could happen that one of you are good friends with a divorce mediator. So, it’s possible that the mediator favors one of you over the other, although mediators go out of their way to remain neutral even in such situations. Also, having close friends mediating your divorce might not be a good idea if there are things about you which probably you don’t want the world to know.
When one mediation does not work
Sometimes, couples might feel that one mediation is not enough or that the mediator has not done a good job. One of the primary objectives of mediation is to enlighten the couples about the divorce proceeding and what should be their best course of action. If a mediator fails to do that, then couples have the right to seek out the help of another mediator. However, they should first check the reputation and background of the second mediator they are hiring.
Conclusion
Mediation is an important part of divorce and should be taken seriously. However, in certain cases, one mediator does not work and therefore a second one may be required. It usually happens if the primary mediator is a family friend or at least close to one of you. You can also choose another mediator if you’re not happy with the service of the first one. It is important to know when you need a second mediator for the job. Spending unnecessarily on another person is not a good idea especially when you’re going to face financial damage during your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Most people avoid talking about their divorce as much as they can because it is certainly not a happy story that they would want to talk about. While some marriages end in divorce, it is also not true that every divorce is a bad divorce. There are ways to have an amicable divorce and here’s 5 ways in which you can do it.
Talk to your spouse
It is very important that you talk with your spouse about the divorce. Instead of having heated arguments, try talking about it amicably. Sometimes, divorces happen due to misunderstandings and maybe if you clear the air, there will be room for another chance. Even if the divorce takes place you’ll at least know that you tried your best to prevent it.
Hire a good mediator
The main job of a mediator is to ensure that your divorce takes place in the best way possible. Instead of opting for a court-appointed mediator, hire one on your own. There are good mediators available in California and you can choose whomever you like. Often, a mediator succeeds in calling off the divorce but that mostly depends on the willingness of you and your spouse.
Support each other
Support is very important when it comes to divorces. It may not be entirely your fault that you’re getting a divorce but remember that any negativity that you show will affect you in the end. So, it’s better to support each other not only financially but also emotionally as well.
Give each other time to adjust
A divorce brings a change in a person’s lifestyle and to adjust to the new way of life every individual need’s time and space. When a divorce has been confirmed, give each other the time to cope with what the future holds for them now.
Don’t rush into it
A divorce is not to be taken lightly and should not be rushed. Be patient and consider the changes that you and your spouse will have to deal with. Often, rash decisions lead to bad results.
Conclusion
A divorce does not necessarily have to end on a bad note. It can be done amicably provided you and your spouse are ready to listen to each other. Hire a good and experienced mediator to help you go through an amicable divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce mediation is an attractive process for California couples that seek to resolve their disputes amicably without the need to have a public battle in court. However, there are still a lot of things that people do not know about divorce mediation and common misconceptions that exist about the topic.
Mediation is the best option
The whole point of an amicable settlement without the divorce going to court sounds attractive to most people, but divorce mediation is not always the best option for couples. This is especially true for couples in which one partner has a history of emotional abuse, and for couples that need to untangle and split a complex web of possessions between each other.
Pets cannot be a part of the mediation process
This is completely untrue as the California government recently passed a law concerning the division of pets in a divorce. The mediator can advise the couple on who is most likely to receive ownership of the pet or how they can work out a pet-sharing deal. This prevents people from stealing pets from their former partners and allows couples to settle the dispute amicably.
Mediation does not require individual lawyers
The mediator is typically a neutral party whose job it is to guide both parties in the divorce. However, it can be a complex process, and not seeking an attorney can be a very foolish thing to do unless you have complete knowledge of the law. You should definitely have an attorney who looks over the final mediation document before it becomes official. Both the parties are advised to have independent attorneys to safeguard their interests.
Mediation is not better than litigation for children
Most people assume that divorce is always going to be bad for their children no matter what. They assume that litigation and mediation are the same, but this could not be farther from the truth. By its very nature, litigation is an adversarial process that promotes a climate of tension, ill will, and stressful court appearances. On the other hand, mediation promotes a culture of cooperation and a desire to settle disputes amicably without excessive volatility. Mediators are trained to be concerned about the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved, and it can be considered to be a first step to the future where the parents will no longer be together.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce is never easy, no matter how amicable it is. There are numerous assets and properties that need to be divided, not to mention custody of children and other aspects. In California, a person that files for divorce has 3 ways to proceed – mediation, litigation and a collaborative divorce. There is no universal best choice among the 3 and each method is suitable for certain circumstances.
Mediation
Mediation is the process where a divorcing couple sits with an impartial and neutral mediator to decide on the division of assets and properties. While both parties have to hire their own lawyers before a settlement is agreed, the mediator does not have to be a lawyer. Mediation allows for spouses to split rather peacefully and consequently benefit the children. Cost is reduced along with complete confidentiality of all matters discussed. Mediation is best for amicable divorces where the spouses aim to remain in touch and maintain a good relationship.
Litigation
Litigation is the most common and oldest divorce format used. This is because in over 80% of divorce cases, the decision is made by one of the parties and is not mutual. In this case, mediation and collaborative divorce might not work as both parties are working against each other. Despite common believes, litigation often ends with an out-of-court settlement. The couple works with lawyers to come to an agreement regarding custody, division of assets, along with alimony payments and liabilities. Once a settlement is formed both parties sign it and a judge also signs off on it.
If a litigated divorce does go to court, all final decisions are made by the judge including decisions regarding assets and custody. It is recommended in most cases to keep the divorce out of the court as it could have a negative impact on the children and lead to more animosity among the parties. Litigation is the most public and the slowest of all 3 options.
Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, the decision to get a divorce is often mutual and there is no animosity. Both parties hire an attorney and decide on the terms of the divorce. Unlike litigation, the attorneys in a collaborative divorce try to help couples come to a mutual agreement. Collaborative divorcees can also hire financial planners that will help plan their lives through the divorce and after. Therapists and coaches may also sit with the spouses to helps them resolve issues. In a collaborative divorce, there is no chance of going to court. In fact, documents are signed before the proceedings stating that the attorneys must withdraw if court is threatened or the settlement fails.
Both mediation and collaborative divorce are only recommended when both parties are on equal footing and have a mutual understanding. Spouses that doubt their partner’s declarations or do not understand the various assets on hand (such as finances) should choose litigation. The same applies when substance abuse, physical or mental abuse is involved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Earlier, there were many circumstances when both the spouses needed to agree for divorcing each other. There were demerits in this system since the divorce used to get delayed or became a complicated process. However, there are many people that still believe the same conditions prevail even today.
In reality this is not the case. It is possible to get divorced even when your spouse does not agree to divorce you. Contrary to the common myth a divorce is no longer stalled or delayed when consent is not given by one of the spouses.
A marriage can be considered to have collapsed when one of the partners desires to go through with a divorce despite the other spouse not giving his or her consent to it. So, what are those specific scenarios that enable a spouse to do so? The spouse needs to establish that the marriage has broken down by providing evidence of mental or physical cruelty or adultery against the other spouse.
When such a scenario prevails, the spouse who desires to get divorced can begin proceedings with or without the consent of the other party. If such an act can be proved by a spouse, a court can hear the plea of the plaintiff and grant him or her divorce. But when you have applied for the divorce and are the party responsible for being cruel to your spouse or having committed the adultery yourself, and are responsible for the marriage breakdown, it is required by the court to live separately for one year minimum before you can apply for your divorce. The reason for doing so is that your own mistakes cannot be used as the cause for your divorce.
It could also be possible that you are unaware of your partner or spouse’s whereabouts, but can still apply for a divorce and obtain it.
But before doing so, you need to demonstrate that you have tried to the best of your abilities to find your spouse or partner. When you could not find your spouse, it is possible for you to ask the judge to issue a substituted service order. This court order means you are told what should be done by you to make sure that the missing partner gets to know that you are applying for a divorce, But a judge would only allow you to go ahead with the divorce provided he or she is satisfied that all possible efforts have been by made by you to track your spouse.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorces often involve the division of property, asset and other financial holdings including businesses. Often, one of the divorcee ends up getting more than they wished for. Needless to say, the other person ends up losing more than what they would have wanted. Since, no one wants to end up as the other person, couples try their best to avoid financial complications during divorce proceedings.
One of the best ways of avoiding financial complications is mediation. A good mediation lawyer should be hired by every couple going through divorce. Mediation will not only help you with your finances but also with your mental and physical state during the divorce.
Some of the ways in which mediation can protect you from financial damage are:
Financial insight
A mediation lawyer knows and understands the risks involved when huge finances are involved in a divorce. Mediation will give you a financial insight of the issues that will be faced by you during the proceeding. An understanding of the issues involved in asset division is critical in determining how much damage you’ll be able to sustain. Financial mediation will help you negotiate the division of property and assets in the best way possible.
Your future financial life will depend heavily on your current financial condition and if you lose more than you have to, it might have a negative effect on your overall finances. Mediation helps you take an informed decision that protects your financial assets from unnecessary damage.
Better communication and negotiation
Mediation is essentially a form of communication and through communication a means of negotiation develops that is particularly helpful in divorce proceedings. A mediation also helps you maintain good relations with your spouse which is another essential thing in a divorce. Having a bad spousal relationship during the divorce proceeding can be one of the reason why you lose out on financial assets. Understanding your partner through effective communication is a useful strategy that everyone should apply.
Conclusion
Financial damage incurred during divorce is a common phenomenon and is an important issue every divorcee needs to deal with. Mediation is the best way to stop unnecessary financial damage and protect assets and property from unnecessary depletion to pay for high attorney’s fees and costs. Mediation is especially important when a huge amount of finance or business is in question. No one wants to end up as the loser and mediation ensures that it is a win-win situation for both parties.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Every couple who go through a rocky relationship after their marriage prefer a divorce over everything else. But couples often end up having a bad divorce, even worse than their marriage was. Things like finances, debts, assets, properties and children are all involved, not to mention the emotional and psychological trauma.
However, couples can also go through a smooth divorce if they choose to do it amicably. Such divorces, known as mediated divorce, happens when both parties decide to settle on a common ground before heading over to the court.
Inexpensive
One of the major problems with divorce is that they can be expensive as hell. But in a mediated divorce, all it takes is for both individuals to sit down and decide on a settlement. The settlement includes property and asset division, child and spousal support and debt division. Hiring a divorce lawyer can sometimes be an expensive affair and couples may still end up losing more than they bargained for. Having a good discussion with your spouse before the divorce proceeding can yield beneficial results.
Faster results
Divorce proceedings can take a long time before a final decision is passed. The waiting period can be strenuous and depressing for most individuals. A mediated divorce on the other hand takes less than 18 weeks on average and the end result is a lot better than the results of a traditional divorce.
Less animosity
If you go through a bad divorce, it is highly unlikely that you will ever want to talk to your ex. wife. Initially, you will be fine with the way things are but after a certain period of time you will realize its after-effects. Individuals often go through feelings of guilt and shame after a bad divorce. Mediated divorce helps you avoid all of that and makes you feel less angry towards your partner.
Customized solution
Mediated divorce gives customized solutions for you. Since how you want the divorce to take place and its outcome is completely in the hands of you and your partner, you can make changes as per your wish.
Conclusion
Divorces can be mentally and physically strenuous for both parties. A mediated divorce helps couples decide the outcomes of their divorce. Mediated divorces are inexpensive and yield faster and better results than traditional divorces. Couples are also saved from the psychological stress of divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Mediation is a process where an experienced and trained individual, in most cases a lawyer, tries to pacify things between couples so that they can avoid a divorce. Divorce mediations are usually of two types – mandatory and private. Mandatory divorce mediation is ordered by the court and is a part of the divorce proceeding. It usually arises when there are major disagreements on issues like custody and visitation. Private mediations are conducted by experienced divorce mediators and lawyers who do not work under the guidance of a court.
Mandatory mediation
Mandatory mediations are court ordered and are provided for couples who choose to go through the court system. Before their case can be heard, the court orders a mandatory mediation. It is usually done when there are children involved. California courts are strict about child custody and visitation and therefore give the couples a chance to reconsider their decision. One major flaw with court-mediations is that they are fast and do not stress much on details. They tend to miss out on the smaller and more important issues due to time constraints.
Private mediation
Private mediations are more flexible and offers couples ample amount of time to talk things over. It deals with more complex matters and allows couple to think things over before they finally proceed with their divorce. Divorce mediators are often skilled at their job and ask questions that identify key areas of problem. Private mediators provide custom solutions that work best for the family. They work within the constraints of court laws use their own methods to deal with the situation.
The major difference between private and mandatory mediation is that private mediation allows couples the freedom to choose their own time and space. Mandatory mediation may work in cases where the couples are reluctant to sit for a mediation. Private mediation keeps things less stressful and provides solution based on the need.
Conclusion
Private mediation and mandatory mediation differ on a variety of different levels and both have their uses. While mandatory mediation is court ordered, and must be attended by couples, private mediation depends on the couples. They choose the time, place and the mediator too. It gives them the freedom to spend as much time as they want with the divorce mediator. Mandatory mediation works well for some but most couples prefer private mediation due to its advantages.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
There are many emotions brought by a divorce. This is especially true when the couple has had a bad time in their marriage. It is normal to go through feelings such ad fear, fury, sadness, and anxiety. However, you need to remember that the degree of emotions will slowly subside with the passage of time. So, when you are undergoing a divorce process it is better to be calm. So do not get agitated as this would only spoil your health. Studies have shown that people who are composed during such times are better equipped to manage the difficulties that accompany a divorce process. Do not continue a blame game with your partner as nothing would come out of it eventually.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
