First up, getting divorced is a life-altering decision. It is a decision that will not only haunt for the rest of your life if you are careless with it; but it is also a decision that will affect people in and around you. Hence, choosing the best way to get a divorce becomes a paramount decision on your part.
Mediation is the right fit
The popularity of divorce mediation has started to increase recently. People are turning to this method either because they have been disappointed by the slowness of the divorce process in court or want to avoid as much conflict as possible.
Why have a mediator?
Typically, divorce mediation has three people involved in the process. The spouses looking to end their marital relation and the divorce mediator. To most spouses, the role of a mediator is that of one trying to calm the proceedings down in case things start to heat up between the couple.
Hence, when two spouses get along well and believe that they have a necessary understanding on most issues as well as an amicable understanding between themselves, they need not have a mediator in their divorce. This is often the case with spouses having gone through divorce related information online who believe that they can handle their divorce on their own.
An important role
Yet, despite what they perceive to be adequate knowledge of divorce, all they may have is a basic plan for separation, not knowing what other issues they’ll have to consider in a divorce. It is often the case in our practice that spouses that agree on the general principles of issues, often disagree vehemently on its details. This means that once they try to sit and draw up a resolution on their own, these details hamper progress and often the process breaks down.
This is why it is important to have a divorce mediator involved in your divorce proceedings. An experienced mediator will have gone through many divorce mediations and will know the issues that are important and need to be raised. These questions can be on a range of issues, namely the most important ones, such as:
Child Custody/Visitation
Parenting Plan
Child Support
Asset Distribution
Spousal Support
Most people that have the slightest bit of agreement with their spouses on the broader issues, want to get their divorce done without a mediator, partly because of its cost and time saving aspect. Yet, in reality, it can be said that hiring a divorce mediator helps spouses save time and money that they might have had to pay in the future, for example, the costs of a mistake in drawing up the resolution that can be challenged in court.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Even though mediation sessions aren’t as tasking as litigation processes, it still can be harrowing to the people involved because a divorce is always difficult on everyone.
Prepare oneself for a mediation session may seem like a difficult thing. But in order to ensure everything is taken care of in as little time as possible, it is important you understand what you need to do before heading to your first mediation.
Control your emotions and keep calm
Don’t forget you are going to the session to discuss terms and not have any heated arguments. It is always a good idea to keep this in mind and prepared for the discussion ahead. You are expected to keep your cool and not lose your head over slight disagreement. If you think you need to see a therapist in order to keep your emotions in control then do so. You can always rely on your family and friends for emotional support, to help you get through this trying time. This way you’ll be ready to negotiate in a more effective manner.
Have a clear idea of what you want
Although you’ll receive guidance during the session, you should also have an idea about your own expectations so you are able to present it during the discussion. There might be various concerns that you would want to express. Make a list of all your queries that you need to bring up in the session, lest you forget about them.
Make sure you have all the proper documents
Financial documents about your bank accounts, stocks, real estate, mutual funds etc. will be required during the session. You also need to make sure that the balances in your accounts and funds are clearly mentioned. Information on loans should also be kept at hand. In order to access them quickly for reference, it is a good idea to create spreadsheets of all this information, because they’ll be necessary when it’s time to discuss the division of assets.
Get an idea of your obligations and rights
Gather information about your rights and obligations from various sources. Consult an attorney if you have to. It is better to be prepared by educating yourself about what may or may not happen. Some consultants also allow couples to come for a free consultation. Make use of these to ask question regarding what to expect. That’ll help you to understand your options.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation can be a better choice than engaging an attorney to represent you individually at the court. In a divorce mediation, two parties discuss their terms reasonably, without having to enter into court battles. Mediators can ensure that negotiations happen in a congenial atmosphere and in as amicable a manner as possible.
All mediators are not the same
Different mediators may have different styles. There might be differences in how they conduct a session. You may not feel as comfortable with any mediator, and this is why it is advisable to meet and talk to different mediators first, and then choose the person you want to oversee your sessions according to how you feel about them.
You may still need an attorney after the mediation process is over
Even after you have reached a settlement, you may still need to hire a lawyer who can help you complete the divorce procedures through the legal system. Sometimes it is also wise to talk to your attorneys before making your divorce agreement official.
There are couples who seek mediators and tell them that they have already reached an agreement and would like to have them settled. These couples should just skip the mediation process altogether and go ahead with hiring an attorney to guide them with their settlement.
Mediators help in resolving any disputes during the session, but if a couple has already come to a mutual agreement then they don’t need to waste their money on divorce mediation and simply head to the court. If the mediator is also an attorney, he can help the participating couple with filling out the court documents.
Mediation can be less expensive
The attorney’s role in mediation is very limited, and hence their charges are also less when compared to litigation. Mediation can take around $7000 on an average, whereas battling it out in court may cost you anything from $20,000 to $35,000 or even more.
Your divorce mediation will remain confidential
Whatever happens during the session remains only between the mediator and the parties involved. Any sensitive information likely to be shared during the few hours of discussion, are never disclosed to anyone outside of the those included in the session. There are confidentiality agreements that one has to sign before taking part in this.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce is a challenging time even for otherwise calm individuals, but when you throw a challenging partner into the mix, it can be a nightmare. If you’re going through a divorce with a difficult spouse, there are some time-tested techniques that should see you through the mediation process.
Lay ground rules
Use your first few sessions to work out the details of how you will manage things durign the divorce process itself. Decide on who will take care of various expenses on running the home and servicing any shared marital debt during this time. Make this official by drawing up an agreement that holds for the duration of the mediation or until the divorce is final. That way you hold them to their word with the law on your side. If you have children, then decide on a temporary parenting plan and visitation schedule as well.
Meet only during mediation
Avoid any kind of contact with your spouse other than during mediation. In the neutral environment of the mediation, you will have the safety of another adult present to prevent things from getting out of hand. It will also ensure you are protected by confidentiality law that applies to the mediation process. In case you have children together and need to interact, keep that to the bare minimum. Do not engage in discussions outside of the divorce mediation meetings. Ensure any communication with a difficult spouse is only done in writing to avoid any misrepresentation of facts later. Consult your divorce attorney before putting anything down on paper or on an email.
Take a deep breath and avoid direct confrontation
A difficult spouse knows exactly what pushes your buttons and then goes ahead and does just that. Avoiding falling into their trap, even if it means holding back a bit. Losing your cool will be detrimental to the divorce process and could cause the mediation to fall through or might see you making some rash decisions in the heat of the moment to get them off your back. It may be exactly what your estranged spouse wants and you will be walking right into their carefully laid trap. As hard as it may be, you will need to be the calm one in all of this. Remember, they may be acting up because they feel threatened and insecure. So stay confident and use the help of your divorce lawyer and work with the mediation expert to get through to a solution that’s acceptable.
Ask your mediator for a caucus
If things get especially heated or you are failing to make any progress on a particular issue, the mediator can have separate private discussions with each of you to move things along. This can help if your spouse is refusing the budge on an issue, and you are firm on your stance too.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The labyrinth of law processes can always be a little daunting and unfortunate. The terminology and basic functions of any process could be a very time consuming and tedious process that could take a lot of your time, leaving you to be an unproductive at work. This could devolve into a situation that could trouble you a lot further.
In the case of divorce, there are various types of settlements possible, however, the more the options, the more confusing it could get. For instance there is a difference between divorce litigation and divorce mediation. Here are some of the major differences that could make your life easier.
Cost-effectiveness
In divorce litigation, the average cost could run up to anywhere between $10,000-25,000+. However, the mediation cost is a fraction of that amount in most cases.
Convenience for the kids
In the case of litigation, the courts will probably appoint a court lawyer to represent the children as well. This could be a harrowing ordeal for the children who may be pulled into the case unwillingly, which could hamper their early child development and growth. In the case of a divorce mediation, the trouble is minimal, and everything could be settled outside of court without weighing down on the kids as much.
The decision
In a divorce litigation, due to the incompatibility of the two parties, the court and the judge would have the final say in the judgement as to what the final settlement is. However, in the case of a divorce mediation, the two parties can have an amiable and consensual settlement over any finances or any other disparity that may arise.
Privacy
When it comes to a divorce litigation, the matter of privacy is always an issue. If any divorce litigation is filed, it is an official case, and every single detail of the case is made public knowledge that is very easily accessible. However, when it comes to divorce mediation, the case is kept behind closed doors, and none of the differences that arise due to any disputes need to be made public.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
As divorce is almost always a messy situation, it is always prudent to ensure that there is enough professional help that you seek while going through the agonizing process. Divorce litigation is the process of taking divorce settlement matters to court. This is in case there is no settlement that is reached outside of court. If divorce mediators are unable to resolve certain issues, the case could proceed to court, although it is always better to find common ground and settle disputes outside of the court. However, if it is simply not possible, here are some steps to expedite the process.
Divorce petition
If a divorce petition must be filed, it must be done so by you or your spouse in the resident county of you or your spouse. The additional stipulation is to also have a minimum of six months of residency. There must be a domicile certificate that indicates that the plaintiffs are both residents and citizens of the area. A temporary restraining order could be filed if either of the party is not consenting with the general decorum and rules of consent.
Serving the petition
When a divorce petition is filed, it must also be served with due notice to the other party. If a petition is not acknowledged, and is not provided with enough notice period, it could be a null and void agreement. The reception must also be served with a witness for the notice. The minimum notice period for any petition may vary from region to region depending upon the state laws and regulations.
Temporary orders
After the petition is served and delivered, either parties may have a certain set of restraining demands allowing or disallowing the other party from certain privileges. This order is of temporary nature until the dispute is finally settled in court.
Discovery
Once the basic foundation is in place, it is important that both parties know their best interests and file for the pre-requisite documentation that will come in useful during the court case.
Divorce mediation
Even though an official petition is filed, the law allows both parties to try to work out situations amicably by finding common ground and reasonable settlements. This could be considered to be one last chance to settle matters out of court.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce is an unfortunate consequence of an unyielding and unrewarding marriage. Divorce rates seem to be soaring in the country in recent times. You have to be cautious about any potential situation that this unfortunate situation may bestow upon you and your family. Divorces with children could be a lot more daunting, it could affect the kids in ways that could hamper their personality and emotional stability for a while, which is why it is very important for you to engage a professional with years of experience to do the job.
Amicable solution
At California Divorce Mediators, it’s not about trying to hoodwink and cheat your spouse out of the relationship by trying to take or to lose the fair share of the deal. It is important that you get your fair share of the bargain without needing to stress on the financial situation and emotional trauma. California Divorce Mediators are licensed professionals who will enable an amicable solution so that no party may be left feeling deceived, which could give rise to further lawsuits and disputes. This could traumatize the children.
Avoidance of court dealings
The dealings of the court could be brutally trying on the children and the family on a while. If any divorce case had to go to court, it could be time consuming, and will leave you stressed out over battles that could enervate your life. Instead of draining yourself with the troubles, it is better to mediate divorce cases by settling the financial aspects in a pleasant amicable manner outside of court. The point of mediation is to allow the best and sound advice and result without the iron fist of the court that could leave everyone unhappy. Studies have shown that divorce mediation is more effective wherein people are willing and more content with the end result. Additionally it also shows that people are more willing to give in to their financial settlements without any financial hassles.
Cost-effective
When it comes to divorce lawyers and mediators, especially in the State of California, it could be a tricky ordeal. The price of any lawyer must be taken into consideration. Divorce mediators allow you to have an amiable settlement without the added disadvantage of lawyer and court fees, which could allow you to comfortably transition from a troubled relation to a separate and cordial separation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
While a mediated divorce is a hell of a lot better than a litigated divorce, the fact remains that you may still need to hire a lawyer as part of the divorce process. It is important to note that the mediation process involves a lot of legal provisioning and hence can’t be completed without the help of a trained mediator who should ideally happen to be a legal professional as well. Some of the reasons why a lawyer may need to be hired for divorce mediation include
Legal advice
You may want independent legal advice from a divorce attorney to determine what your legal rights are and if a proposed resolution is in your best interests.
To finalize the paperwork
Both you and your partner need to come to certain agreements before the finalization of the divorce deal, which need to be incorporated into a final stipulated judgment. Unless the divorce mediator is also a family law attorney versed on the law and capable of drafting a solid, enforceable judgment, either you or your spouse need to have legal counsel prepare the final Judgment based on the agreements of the parties.
To intervene when appropriate
Sometimes it is helpful for a party’s attorney to contact the mediator to clarify their client’s desires in the mediation or terms of settlement, or to sit in on divorce mediation sessions to help the party understand terms and rights.
It remains a fact that the employment of mediation in divorces could significantly enhance the speed of the process and consequently reduce the hardships. So, appointing a lawyer as a mediator is much better than appointing a lawyer for proceeding on a litigated divorce case.
Ultimately, it is up to the preference of each party in a divorce mediation as to whether they want their own divorce attorney on the case to advise them, although it is not mandatory to do so under any circumstance.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
While divorce could be an emotionally draining process for you, there are ways through which the process could be made simpler and more dignified. Mediating your divorce is best available option. Mediation is nothing but fixing the terms of the divorce process outside the litigation system in the court.
Mediation is a collaborative process through which your spouse and you would arrive at an agreement that needs to be decided for the execution of the divorce procedure with the help of a third party who would be neutral. The arrangement might include the custody for the child, the schedule of parenting, the distribution of property, the decision to award maintenance to the spouse, the support for children and similar other factors. It needs to be mentioned here that the mediation in this case is not a court-mandated one. The mediation here has been agreed to by both the parties on a voluntary and free basis. The mediator needs to have a substantial divorce and family mediation training and could help you through the completion of the process.
Some of the obvious advantages of mediated divorces as compared to litigated divorces could be listed as follows:
Economical: The process involved in mediated divorces is much less expensive than adversarial divorces affected in the courts. In fact, the cost could be only about 25 to 40 percent of the process involved in the courts.
Time effective: The mediated divorce procedure takes a lot less time than the process involved in the courts. While the former might take anything between four and eight weeks to come to a settlement, the later might take months and even years to solve the imbroglio.
Less economically draining: While you have the leeway to go hammer and tongue against your partner in the courts, it might have a disastrous effect on the relationship in the future as regards caring for the child. Also, the process might affect you emotionally. Thus, the best possible way is to resolve the crisis through a mediated process so that a productive relationship could be maintained in the future as well.
A lot more dignified: Mediation focuses on the areas of agreement and not on the areas of dispute. Thus, the process doesn’t have a telling effect on the psyche of an individual. Also, the confidentiality factor is maintained during the completion of the process leading to it being more dignified.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The concept of Valentine’s Day is one where you celebrate your love for your partner who has either been there with you through thick or thin or someone who you think has the potential to be an amazing companion. The core of Valentine’s Day is its message of love, appreciation and togetherness.
Back in the school or college when practical life hadn’t dawned, a bad Valentine’s Day for most people was one where every one of their friends and colleagues had gotten a card or a flower, but they didn’t.
But as we grow up and get out of your colleges to the more practical side of things, attending university and so on, the worst Valentine’s Day is one where you and your partner grow apart or break up. None of this though compares to the worst Valentine’s Day in reality.
A Day in Court
This is a divorce blog and you guessed it right, the worst Valentine’s Day for a person will be when their Orange County divorce case is scheduled for the 14th of February. Imagine the pain and the flood of negative emotions that one would face when they have to go to court to finalize the process of the end of their marital relation on the day that is touted as a day of love and appreciation.
The impact of emotions in our life is paramount and more so, when you are going through an Orange County divorce. This is one point in your life when you are at your most vulnerable, licking your wounds and looking back at what could have been, and what should have been.
It is amazing how people can muster the strength to come up to court on the 14th of February with their lawyers and engage in a bitter fight for assets, children and other things in your divorce case. A stark opposite of what this day represents in reality. Instead of the couple looking towards the future, the couple will find themselves bickering about the past and how each would want to go their separate way in the future.
Avoiding a Bad Valentine’s Day
What can you do if your Orange County divorce case is scheduled to be heard on the 14th of February except going and attending your divorce proceedings? You can do nothing; you will have to attend the proceedings. Yet, this awkward encounter could be avoided if you go for Orange County divorce mediation instead of litigated divorce.
The thing about divorce mediation is that it empowers the spouse to take the decisions. This means that you will decide the date of the proceedings, the course of the proceedings and the decision of the mediation proceedings between yourself and your spouse. This means that such dreadful dates of having to go through a divorce hearing on the day of togetherness and love can and will be avoided.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
First up, getting divorced is a life-altering decision. It is a decision that will not only haunt for the rest of your life if you are careless with it; but it is also a decision that will affect people in and around you. Hence, choosing the best way to get a divorce becomes a paramount decision on your part.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
