Divorce mediation/family law mediation/child support mediation not only requires a thorough legal knowledge but also a certain level of sensitivity towards the issues and towards the parties involved as well. A mediator should be someone who should strive to keep the ‘ugliness’ out of even high conflict cases, and encourage the parties to be respectful towards each other, and guide them towards reaching a creative and practical resolution. It is always better to go with a mediator who has a clean and good reputation. It is also important to choose a mediator who is acceptable to both the parties equally as well.
Go with a certified (trained) mediator
It is important for the mediator to maintain the legal aspect of your divorce. The mediator should have good knowledge about the divorce/family laws specific to each state so that he/she can provide correct information to the parties involved. The mediator should be able to inform the parties what would happen if they take their case to the court. If the parties reach an agreement, then the mediator should proceed with the agreement formalities in the correct way so that it would not be disputed in the future. A certified mediator will be able to do all this the correct way. Mediation, in a way, is an art. A trained mediator will be more proficient in this art form. Negotiation and facilitation are skills that come with experience and training.
Choose a professional mediator
A mediation is a platform where the parties involved can talk about anything and everything. The mediator is a neutral party who would listen and offer suggestions. Until an agreement is signed, nothing is binding in the mediation process. Whatever transpired in the mediation room has to remain confidential. Nothing should ever come up in the court. Hence, it is incredibly important that you choose a mediator who is not biased, whom you can trust. Always go with a professional mediator, someone who will maintain confidentiality.
Now, most of the parties have a tendency to outright reject a mediator suggested by the other party. This is not a very practical approach. First of all, you do not have to agree on anything in the mediation process if you do not want to, no one can force you. Second, the mediator suggested by the other party may be a very competent person who could resolve the issues in a very cost-effective way, and in as little time as possible. So, do some research on your own, and if you find that the mediator is actually a good choice, who is not related to the other party in any way, then go with that mediator.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Online mediation or virtual mediation is the process of conducting mediation online, via the Internet, with the help of applications such as Skype, Facetime, and so on. The mediation process remains the same, the mediator and the two divorcing parties will be present, however, they will not be physically present at the mediator’s office, all will be communicating with each other via Skype or Facetime. While face-to-face mediation has its benefits such as a more meaningful communication between the parties, the mediator getting a better understanding of the couple by observing their tone, body language, and so on, online divorce mediation has its own advantages as well.
Online divorce mediation is perfect for busy professionals
Many a time in face-to-face mediation it just so happens that one of the parties fail to reach the mediator’s office on time because of their busy work schedule. With online mediation, both the parties can decide on a time that is suitable for them. They can then login from their office itself, and be present virtually for the mediation process. No rushing to the mediator’s office from their own office, no getting stuck in the traffic and reaching the mediation venue late. Also, if you need to travel extensively for work or if you are staying out of state, you do not have to take a day off to participate in the mediation process. You have the convenience of logging in from anywhere.
Online divorce mediation is cost-effective
Since it is possible to participate in the mediation process from home, you do not have to arrange for child care. Also, you will be able to save on all the traveling expenses.
Online divorce mediation is ideal for immobile individuals
For people who are unable to leave their home due to any medical condition or disability, online divorce mediation is very practical. They will be able to take part in the mediation process from their home. Also, in the case of older individuals, they will be spared the hassle of driving or finding someone to drive them to the venue.
Online divorce mediation can be empowering for certain parties
If one party is intimidated in the physical presence of the other party, then that party may not be able to speak openly and freely during a face-to-face mediation. Online mediation can empower such parties to speak their mind freely and confidently during the sessions. Online divorce mediation is ideal for couples who cannot stand each other as well.
Online mediation can be a learning experience for the couples as well. They will be able to communicate with each other online in the future to maintain their relationship after the divorce for discussing the needs of their children.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
For cases involving a lot of friction between the separating parties regarding the custody settlement of their children, child custody mediation is the most effective approach to deal with the issues. With the help of an outside third party, the divorced parents can peacefully resolve their disagreements and reach a final mutually acceptable solution. Also, if the parents have worked out a mutual agreement, the professional mediator can assist them in devising a parenting plan which can be converted into the official child custody and visitation order, after the consent of the court of law.
How is mediation beneficial for you?
It is the mediator’s duty to play as a neutral third party in child custody related conflicts and try to resolve the issues by listening to the concerns of both the involved parties. Considering the bigger picture, the child custody mediation can be quite advantageous in reaching a mutually agreed upon settlement.
Child custody mediators help the separating parents in devising a parenting plan which ensures the best interests of the child.
Child custody mediators assist the separating parents in reaching a mutual settlement and creating a parenting plan that ensures that the child spends adequate time with both the parents.
Child custody mediators counsel you and help you effectively deal with your resentment and negativity towards your partner.
What exactly does the mediation process involve?
Child custody mediation is an effective approach to settling your custody and visitation related disputes without having to go to the court. Both the parents have the right to work out their conflicts and devise a customized agreement which would state what and how of taking care of their children. The court of law refers to this agreement as stipulation, parenting plan or a time share plan. More often than not, the mediator holds separate or coordinated meetings with both the parents with the aim of developing a sound understanding of the family’s history and concerns. He also has the obligation to share with the parents the important information regarding the needs and expectations of children in different developmental stages. The mediation process involves the discussion of several issues such as legal custody, vacation schedules, visitation and transportation related disputes.
If you and your partner think that you can reach a mutual agreement which ensures the best interests of your child, child custody mediation is probably the most effective approach for you.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Many couples do not want to go through divorce litigation. Instead, they want to try and resolve their divorce out of court. But in order for divorce mediation to work, the spouses have to forget their bitter differences and sit and discuss all issues related to their divorce. Not only is the process of mediation a lot shorter than a divorce, but it is also a lot cheaper.
There are 3 golden rules that are followed in a divorce mediation process:
A divorce mediation is not a procedure where evidence is required to resolve conflicts. The professional mediator (neutral third party) will use his or her knowledge and experience to help you and your spouse to reach an understanding and an agreement. You will be encouraged to compromise on certain issues and reach a resolution.
A divorce mediation cannot be expected to resolve every single conflict between the spouses. Mediators can successfully resolve most of the issues but sometimes there are certain issues that can be resolved only with the help of the family court. If you can resolve even some of the issues in the mediation, you will be saving a lot of money. Patience is a very crucial part of any mediation.
In a divorce mediation, both the spouses have to be willing to listen to each other and to the mediator. Most importantly, you will have to be active participants. You can reach a settlement only if both of you are willing to participate and act.
You and your spouse should be ready to follow these 3 golden rules if you want a mediation. But how do you determine if you are ready for a mediation or not. You should be ready to do the following –
Disclose your and your spouse’s income through verifiable supporting documents.
Be willing to discuss issues related to your children. Visitation rights and co-parenting are some of the issues that need to be resolved.
Be honest with each other about separate and community property and assets.
Be willing to reach compromises and make mutual decisions and not leave it to the judge.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
In California, as anywhere else in the USA, the divorce mediation process has 3 steps to it. The 3 steps include orientation, disclosure and resolution. All the steps have been discussed here.
Step 1 – Orientation
In the first step of the procedure, the mediator will familiarize you and your spouse with goals of the mediation process. It will also ensure that your mediator is aware of the various issues and facts that need to be resolved in your case. Both you and your spouse will have a say in all the matters that will be discussed. If the mediator can familiarize himself with your particular case, it would be easier for all of you to work towards a co-operative resolution.
Your mediator would want to know the following things –
The length of your marriage and the marital style of living.
The issues that are most important to you and your spouse, i.e. the issues that you would like to resolve. Also the issues where you and your spouse have an understanding.
You and your spouse’s income from every possible source. The present and the predicted future financial situation of both the spouses. Your assets, property, debts, liabilities, and expenditures.
Both your roles in the caring of your children.
Both your work schedules and any other commitments outside work.
Step 2 – Disclosure
The second step in the mediation process requires both spouses to declare or disclose their assets, income, debts, and expenses of the family estate to each other. The declaration of disclosure has to be absolutely correct and accurate. Revelations regarding all community and personal property have to be made. Your mediator will help both of you to fill declaration forms that provide the details of your marital property, debts, assets, income and expenditures. The declaration, as required by California law, will be exchanged with the other party and the mediator.
Step 3 – Resolution
The last step is possible only if you and your spouse have communicated effectively, have been successful in being honest with each other and have truthfully disclosed your finances to each other. It means that you are now ready to reach an agreement on the issues that are most important to each other. Once you have reached an agreement and resolved your issues, the mediator will prepare a final settlement document. It will be reviewed and the mediator will consider both your inputs.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is never easy, regardless of the age and financial status of the couple. They can however, be amicable and end with suitable conditions for both parties. This might be hard to believe but it is a possibility. Couples go through a lot during their marriages and even after that. Here are a few key factors to focus on when going through a divorce:
Acknowledging the failure of the marriage
If there are any hopes of getting through a divorce amicably, both partners have to acknowledge that things aren’t working. This is a very difficult fact to accept as couples are more likely to want to keep working on a marriage. Over 48% of American marriages end in divorce for different reasons.
Infidelity, past conflicts and financial situations all take a toll on the marriage and partners tend to drift apart. The problem is, even after years of trying, partners refuse to accept defeat. Moreover, acknowledging the fact that the marriage isn’t going to work will put both partners on the same page and make divorce proceedings easier.
Counseling
Just because both of you have admitted that the marriage is coming to an end, doesn’t mean that there are no issues. Counseling helps reduce the tension and both partners get a chance to air out their feelings, outside of a formal setting. Sometimes, counseling can even help couples reconnect and make them want to stay together. In other cases however, the counselor acts as an impartial party for conflict resolution. It helps both parties stay civil and sane throughout the long process of ending a marriage.
Have set rules
Once the divorce has come through, former partners have to see each other regularly. Children, mutual friends, family relations all mean that both partners have to meet after separation. The key to being amicable during this process is to have rules about the new people in each others lives, arguments and children. These are usually formed during therapy and stop partners from resenting each other for the rest of their lives. Constant conflict often results in serious implications for everyone involved, especially children.
In the end, an amicable divorce is not about solving all arguments 100% and moving on, it’s about learning to have controlled arguments and focus on a mutual solution rather than being right.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce or a legal separation is the ultimate culmination of all your marital conflicts with your spouse. Sometimes, the process of separation itself can become a major cause for conflict, when both the parties have to agree upon a common settlement. In some of the cases, both the parties might resolve their property division and custody related issues peacefully, with mutual consent. On the other hand, some of the separating couples might end up in an extended litigation, fighting for their individual rights, to achieve maximum benefit for themselves. The third category, however, involves couples who agree upon an out of court settlement of their post separation rights, through the process of mediation, also referred to as mediated divorce.
What exactly is mediated divorce?
As the name suggests, the medidated divorce is an approach to negotiating the rights, of the divorced couple, with the help of a third party professional mediator. In this process, both the partners hire a neutral mediator who works together with the parties towards settling on an agreement favorable for both the parties involved.
The mediated process generally involves ‘three-way’ mediation sessions, of both the parties and the mediator meet and discuss the issues together and try to reach a settlement of their own accord. The mediated divorce process may also demand the additional involvement of other professionals, such as neutral accountants or child custody specialists, who would also assist the parties, mediator, and the parties’ attorneys, if they have one, in reaching an out of court settlement.
How mediated divorce is beneficial for the parties involved
Despite the fact that in due course, the couple has to get the legal separation or divorce mandated by a court, the mediated process can considerably shorten the length of the court proceedings. Through divorce mediation, the couple can reach mutually agreed upon out of court settlements for post- divorce rights. Additionally, the mediated divorce enables both the parties to reach a conscientious settlement, which is beneficial to both of them.
The mediated divorce not only spares you the grueling court trials that often take years to resolve the issues, but also saves you a lot of unnecessary expenditure involved with a legal lawsuit.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce or legal separation is both mentally and financially traumatic for the parties involved. The grief of a broken relationship, of shared dreams and hopes, combined with the grueling task of making a fair division of your shared possessions, may leave you completely exhausted. Once you have parted ways, your shared property too needs to be distributed.
The biggest problem with carrying out the division all-by-yourself is that it might give rise to further conflicts and an unsatisfactory outcome. Obtaining legal advice in such situations is the most acceptable thing to do. However, since court litigation is a highly expensive and lengthy procedure, it is advisable to go for a legal out-of-court mediation for the division of your property.
What is mediation for the division of property?
Mediation is the process wherein a neutral, independent third party, called the mediator, tries to resolve the conflict by using standard mediation techniques. The mediator does not have the authority to arbitrate the dispute on his own. However, his job is to assist the two conflicted parties, address their issues and individual interests, and arrive at a set of plausible settlement options that might be agreed upon by both the parties.
In the event of a divorce, generally, the division of shared assets and property is the biggest and most complicated issue that can be resolved within the separating couple without requiring any outside help. However, due to the pre-existing disputes, the couple often requires legal aid for addressing the issue and reaching a non-biased fair settlement.
How is mediation more advantageous than litigation?
Mediation is a quicker process as compared to the court lawsuit. It only takes a few days or weeks to reach a resolution with the help of a mediator, whereas the court proceedings go on for months on end.
Mediation is a cheaper process as compared to filing a lawsuit, and can be more affordable in times when you are already in a financial fix.
Since mediation is a more informal approach to resolving a conflict, it provides more room for the parties to open up and discuss their individual interests freely. On the other hand, a lawsuit requires a slew of rules and regulations that bind the parties and restrains them from speaking up.
The confidentiality of a mediation process renders it a more acceptable form of settlement as compared to court litigation. Court proceedings are public and most people do not want to discuss their personal issues in front of the others. Mediation provides a private platform for the parties to reveal their personal details and problems.
Hiring a mediator for the division of your property in your divorce can be extremely useful and rewarding while trying to arrive at a mutual agreement without any further conflicts.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States file for divorce. The divorce rates for the subsequent marriages that follow are even higher. The allowance for no fault divorces has pushed the numbers up significantly. With this increasing number of failing marriages, more and more couples have started to seek peaceful methods to resolve their otherwise distressing problems.
Divorce mediation comes to the rescue
The most popular among them being divorce mediation. Simply put, divorce mediation is you and your soon to be ex-spouse deciding the terms of your divorce and what’s best for you and your children, if you have any. In mediation, you and your spouse hire a neutral third party, the mediator, and they help you work through your differences so that you can end your marriage quietly and cost effectively. Unlike trials, there is minimal visit to the court and it is easy on your pockets. The amount of time and money you would otherwise spend in the court is almost reduced by half.
An unsurprisingly increasing number of couples have resorted to divorce mediators and are beginning to show faith in the results these wonder workers can craft out of even the most difficult divorces. This leads to the question all such couples want to know the answer to; can a mediator file divorce papers?
The important question
The answer is to the question of whether the divorce mediator can file the divorce documents with the court is generally “yes.” The mediator can file the divorce papers (draft and file the necessary court documents and Qualified Domestic Relations Orders “QDROs”), but that is when it is most helpful if the mediator is also a divorce and family law attorney who is very familiar with the forms and information needed and the procedures involved. The mediator can assist the parties in filing the papers with the court, including dissolution of marriage action, disclosure documents, and preparing the agreement, judgment, and final papers to be filed with the court.
The process is quicker and the information shared is kept confidential. While making compromises is inevitable in divorces, doing it through mediation will preserve your dignity and leave you satisfied and probably help you end your separation on good terms.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
You’ve decided that divorce mediation is the way to go. It’s cost effective and the chances are that there will be an amicable settlement of your dispute. The divorce mediator is going to help you come to an agreement that you can both be satisfied with. But for the mediator to do so, you will have to provide him or her with all the required information. Your mediator needs to know the background of the divorce, the financial assets involved, and whether or not any children are involved. Leaving aside any special information the mediator might ask for, the information that you must provide the mediator with include:
The background of your divorce. The reasons that are causing the divorce. For example, infidelity, unacceptable behavior, lack of equality and so on.
The major assets involved. For example, savings, houses, pensions and the likes.
Both of your incomes and expenditures.
Which one of you is opting for the divorce and if or not, both of you agree that getting a divorce is necessary.
If you have children, and if they are dependent, i.e. under-18, educating full time, or has special needs.
Providing more information will only make it better and easier for the mediator to comprehend the situation and provide you with an acceptable solution. Your mediator can also request your spouse to provide details of important information that you may not be able to provide. However, this could cause an increase in the time and cost. You should also inform your mediator about the major objectives on your mind. For example, custody of the child, or that you at least contact them regularly, division of the home, asset division, whether there are any payable maintenance and so on.
Providing financial documents
You will also need to provide the mediator with financial information and documentation, such as bank statements, pay stubs, corporate records, etc.
Quite understandably, while you might be a little hesitant at first, to provide all the information that your mediator might ask of you, it will only make the process easier for him or her, and as a result, for you. Also, you can ask your mediator to keep the information confidential if you wish to do so.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce mediation/family law mediation/child support mediation not only requires a thorough legal knowledge but also a certain level of sensitivity towards the issues and towards the parties involved as well. A mediator should be someone who should strive to keep the ‘ugliness’ out of even high conflict cases, and encourage the parties to be respectful towards each other, and guide them towards reaching a creative and practical resolution. It is always better to go with a mediator who has a clean and good reputation. It is also important to choose a mediator who is acceptable to both the parties equally as well.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
