The “Right of First Refusal” concept in California divorce and custody cases awards one parent the first option to undertake the responsibility of the child in the absence of the other parent. What this means is that after a legal custody battle, one parent can take care of the child during the time that has been allotted for the other parent. The right of first refusal allows parents to take responsibility for child care instead of awarding it to a third party.
The right of first refusal has two advantages. First, the child is not put into the hands of a third party. Second, the costs for paying the third-party care provider is also avoided.
When can the right be exercised
Parents who are unavailable to take care of their children for more than 12 hours must notify the other parent prior to the unavailability. It gives the other parent plenty of time to consider the decision. If the other parent refuses to be present at the mentioned time, it becomes the custodial parent’s duty to look for an alternative care for his/her child.
For the right of first refusal to become actionable, deciding the period of time is very important. However, since there is no perfect timeframe which decides the right, it depends on case to case. It’s a good idea to include a divorce lawyer during such matters.
One of the most important factors for exercising the right of first refusal is geography. For the right to take place, parents need to stay close to each other. If the distance is too long, the right may not be of too much help.
When can it be misused
There have been instances where the right of first refusal has been misused. If you have not enjoyed a good relationship with your spouse, then he/she may not agree to your offer. During tight-knit custody battles, such rights can make a lot of difference in custody preferences.
A divorce affects children badly. It has negative psychological effects which can become physical if ignored. Custody battles are tough and the state of California has laws to make sure the child spends an equal amount of time with each parent. The right of first refusal was created to provide temporary custody to the other parent in the absence of the first one. It helps avoid the involvement of third parties and keeps the matter between the two parents.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When it comes to the various aspects surrounding child custody, there are numerous misconceived notions that typically affect a divorcing parent’s rationale. Working out your divorce strategy and custody-related arrangement based on such myths can not only leave you unduly stressed but also end up influencing an unfavorable final verdict. Let us have a look at some of the fallacies that surround most of the custody-related cases.
Myth #1: The mother has an upper hand
One of the most common misconceptions that most people battling custody cases in the court have is that the mother always gets an inordinate preference when designing the custody and visitation schedule. Although, it is more of a concept of “yesteryear” when the mother was automatically awarded the full custody of young children, the times have changed and so have the state laws. The gender bias is no longer prevalent in the present day laws, and the custody and visitation arrangements are crafted entirely upon the best interests of the child.
Myth #2: Teenagers get to decide where they live
Although the court of law provides the children the liberty of voicing their opinions and wishes regarding where they want to live, it is via the judge’s discretion alone that the final arrangements are made. In other words, a child can express his desire to live with one parent, but his/her wish will not typically influence the final verdict unless there is a significant reason to do so. For example, if a child expresses his/her fear of living with an abusive parent or even meeting him/her, the court of law has the discretion to hold the former’s suggestion as a valuable influence of the judgment.
Myth #3: A parent might lose visitation rights if he/she defaults on a support payment
Although there can be several reasons, such as a threat to the emotional and physical well-being of a child, where the court might order the rights of visitation be taken away from a parent, an inability to pay for support is never counted as a substantial reason to do so. A court might make changes in the visitation schedule, order supervised visitation or completely deny the right to a parent if it is in the beast interests of the child. However, only because a parent defaults on a support payment, he/she cannot be denied the right to exercise his/her parental duties.
If you too have any misconception regarding the custody and visitation laws of your state, you can consult a lawyer who can clarify your rights and provide you with authentic legal information.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce can be a highly traumatizing and overwhelming situation for a child. Although a divorce is a stressful time for the partners getting separated, it is actually the children involved who suffer the deepest impact of a broken family. Given their tender age and still developing cognition, it is very perplexing for a child to understand the complexities of a divorce and visualize it for what is really is. Many a time, the children end up bashing themselves as a reason for the family to fall apart. As adults, it is our responsibly to support our children in these testing times and make them understand that a divorce is not the end of the world. Let us have a look at a few guidelines that will help your child adjust to the transition from a happy family to a family with a single parent.
Tell the truth
It is very important for your child to understand the situation in a mature and practical way. However, you must try to spare your child a comprehensive explanation of the intricacies of why your marriage didn’t work out. You can put it in a simple and straightforward manner by saying that ‘Mommy and Daddy are unhappy with the everyday fighting and do not wish to upset everyone anymore’ so that your child actually understands what you are trying to say.
Reassure your child
The most horrifying aspect of a divorce for a child is his insecurity of losing out on the love of their parents. As aforementioned, in most cases, the children end up blaming themselves for the situation. However, we as adults know how untrue this is. It is important to reassure your child that it is not their fault that your marriage didn’t work out and that both their father and mother will love them, regardless of the separation. Your child needs to know that although everything around them is changing drastically, the one thing that will stay constant is your compassion for them.
Ensure their routine
Most children thrive on the routine they have been following ever since they developed a sense of how things work in everyday life. Kids tend to feel more secure when they are aware of what to expect next. You can keep your child calm and help them adapt to the new life by sticking to their daily routine and giving them their regular playtime and nap time even in the new home.
And last but not the least, allowing your child to express their feeling openly in front of you, will help them deal with the pent up emotions that might otherwise be detrimental to their mental well-being.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is difficult time for everyone. The couple go through a series of emotional and psychological changes and adjust to the new life. But apart from the parents, the effect of divorce on children is equally painful. Sometimes it can get out of control as children behave differently in different situations.
Being a teenager can be tough. They are neither kids nor adults and sometimes they act differently because of this. And when the parents get divorced, the effect is unique for each teenager.
Adjustment problems
Research has shown that in the first two years after divorce, teenagers have a hard time coping up with the truth. Adjustment becomes difficult and they show varied behaviors. But as time passes, the situation becomes better. They accept the fact that their parents won’t be together anymore and start adjusting to the new life. Most of the teenagers won’t face any negative effects when they grow up.
Emotional and psychological effects
Children have pure emotions and they show what they feel. But in teenagers, it may not always be the same. Witnessing a divorce can be tough for them. They sometimes show an outburst of emotions or don’t show anything at all. As kids, they’ve looked up to their parents as role models and the behavior of parents affects them. If parents use criticism to deal with a certain problem during a divorce, then automatically teenagers feel that criticism is a tool to handle such situations. Similarly, other emotions like anger and fear become a common part of their daily routine to deal with problems.
Feeling distress during a hostile environment is not exclusive to teenagers. It is what each of us do when put in similar situations. When teens witness, their family falling apart, they too feel distressed. Psychological studies show that blood pressure and heart rate increases in children who witness adults fighting. Over time the psychology changes and can result in negative results.
Effect on academic performance
Teens undergoing psychological and emotional changes have a hard time concentrating on their academic performance. So, naturally, their grades go down. This is very evident in intelligent children who have fared better than their peers in school. The drop in grades is due to emotional problems and not due to emotions. Even teachers find it hard to teach teens undergoing emotional issues. With more and more parents getting divorced each year, the number of such teens are increasing.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce is more than two people separating; it is the disintegration of a family’s structure. Legal separations get messy when there are children involved. Unless it is an extreme case of abuse, it is unfair to separate the child/ children from the parent because the adults have issues. Proper parenting starts with the combined effort of both parents.
Custody and parenting hours are two terms that pop up during divorce settlement. Custody is the responsibility and the rights the parents have among them to support and care for their children. When custody is decided, visitation hours are also specified. Visitation is the how’s and when’s of a parent visiting a child.
The State of California allows the decision of joint or individual custody to be made by the parents. The final decision is however made by the judge.
Custody types
In general, there are two types of custody-
Legal custody which permits the parent to decide the best for the child like welfare, education and healthcare
Physical custody where the choice to live with which parent is made.
Both can be joint custody when the parents come together as a team to make decisions that is in the child’s best interest. Alternatively, one parent can take sole responsibility for the child. The legal responsibilities include residence, religion, child care, school, sports, travel etc.
Parenting schedule orders
Visitation or parenting time is the plan which the parents devise to distribute time between themselves with the child. When a parent is allotted less than half time with the child, visitation hours are allotted. The frequency of visitation is case specific.
There are four variations of visitation:
Scheduled visits– Think of this as a time table like the one most of us had in school. There is a specific pre-determined schedule. The flexibility of the hours depends on the equation and understanding between the parents. This schedule ensures that there is no conflict or confusion in the visitation hours.
Reasonable visits: These are open ended and there is no specific time which is allotted to each parent.
Supervised visits: When the child’s safety and wellbeing is in question, all visits are supervised either by the other parent, or an adult chosen by the parent or a professional agency.
No visits: In extreme cases, if any visit from a parent is stressful or unsafe for the child, the parent does not receive visitation rights.
To learn more about the child custody and divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Child custody can be a big issue if you are in the military. Deployments and relocations are frequent and when you’re constantly on the move, it becomes obvious that you cannot spent time with your children. It leads to custody battles and you may have to temporarily give up your custody. Military parents have faced this issue for a long time now and the State of California have developed laws that help such parents.
Making a family care plan
Making a family care plan is very important in divorce cases involving children. If you know someone who is in the military or if yourselves are in the military, then you know the importance of a family plan. A family care plan creates a set of guidelines to take care of your children. It describes the care provider and the roles he/she needs to play. It includes food, education, healthcare, clothing and other emotional support that will be provided to your children during your absence. It also includes short-term and long-term custody and the name of the person(s) who will provide it.
Another important aspect of creating a family care plan is keeping things transparent between you, your children, and the court.
Custody issues during relocation
Child custody is not a subject of federal laws but depends on state laws. Every state has their own set of laws to answer child custody issues. When you get deported or relocated, courts make decision based on these laws. In California, before you leave you must show the amount of support you can provide for your children. The family care plan plays an important role because you are already prepared. In case you fail to provide any proof, your leave might get delayed.
In case your relocation is not pre-planned then the court might take it into consideration and modify the court order.
Senate Bill 1082
The Senate Bill 1082 was passed in 2005 by then Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Bill was passed to ensure that parents who serve in the military are protected from child custody battles. It provides certain benefits and helps children of military personnel from legal problems.
This Bill was one of the first solutions provided to military parents who otherwise face huge problems. If you are in the military you are entitled to such protects.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Child custody for legal guardianship can be tricky. 90% of the time, biological parents have the upper hand in a child custody case. But in certain cases, non-biological parents may be given custody rights of the children. There are many factors which the court takes into consideration and then decides. If you are a non-biological parent looking for a way to win a custody battle, then keep reading. At the end of it you will understand what you need in order to win the custody battle.
Under what grounds
One of the grounds under which non-biological parents can get child custody is the court finding biological parents to be unfit. In cases where the court finds that biological parents are not good parents, the custody is awarded to non-biological parents. The court looks at what’s best for the child and then declares who should take custody. Other grounds include accident cases or instances where the biological parents go missing. In such cases, the court hands over the custody of children to non-biological parents.
To be considered as a non-biological parent, you must have spent a certain amount of time with the child. You need to be considered as “family” by both the child and the court.
Non-biological parental rights for fathers
If you are close to a child and the child considers you as a father, then the court may give you custody rights even though you are not the biological parent.
It is often presumed that biological parents are natural custody holders and in a number of cases parents win custody battles because of it. But a court of law looks upon parents as someone who can take care of the child and who the child is comfortable with. If you are a non-biological father battling for the custody of a child, then remember that your relationship with the child is the most important factor.
More than two legal parents in California
Recently, in California, a law was made that allowed a child to have two or more legal parents. The law is unique to the state of California because having three parents is very uncommon.
The bill was passed after three people – a man and two women, all met the criteria to become legal parents. At first, it was thought to be a weird idea but then the court re-considered and accepted the “rule of two”.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
If the parents of a child are of different faiths, and they separate, there may not be agreement on the religion the child will follow. This is increasingly common as the number of interfaith marriages are on the rise. High divorce rate can also follow.
Child welfare
The courts when called to resolve disputes between divorced or separated parents disagreeing about matters that concern about religious upbringing of the children try to balance the competing concerns. The courts will protect the First Amendment rights of the individual parent when it comes to freely choosing the preferred religion and also the right to raise a child as a parent sees fit. These can be followed as long the choices of parenting does not put in jeopardy the concerned child’s welfare. On the flip side, the courts, when taking decisions about visitation arrangements and custody, must protect the child’s best interests.
If the courts hear that one parent has complained about the religious activity of the other parent and that they are not in the child’s best interests, they have the hard task to decide whether it is needed to encroach on the First Amendment of the other parent and his or her parenting rights by the restriction of religious activities. In a number of cases, courts will take the child’s wishes into account. In one particular case, the Supreme Court in a state sent back a case to the trial court. They instructed the trial judge to accept evidence concerning opinions of the child-in this case, a 12 year old boy, about whether the latter should be circumcised. The parents have disagreed on this for a number of religious reasons. In normal cases, courts will consider views of any child over 12 years of age on issues concerning religion and also on issues of visitation or custody.
Law in custody cases and religion
As the Supreme Court in the United States has not yet made a decision in a case which involves custody or religious upbringing, no uniform national law exists. The law changes from one state to another. A majority of state courts will apply any of the three legal standards like substantial or actual harm, risk of harm or no harm needed. It must be remembered these decisions may not be followed by the courts locate in other states.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A father must first determine whether he is biological father of minor child if he is not married to the mother of the child. If it is conclusively proved that he is the biological father, he gets certain rights when it comes to the minor child. Almost under every circumstance, if a father has been declared legal father of the minor child, then the father’s name will be inked on the birth certificate of that child. This may occur even if the mother was already married to another person at conception or birth. The surname of the father, in addition, will be inserted in the certificate of birth as the surname of the child. A biological father, even if he is unmarried, has complete right to get custody of minor child. He also has equal rights as married fathers. The unmarried biological father can get a hearing so that the court can determine his fitness when it comes to the custody issue.
Authority as father
Once a father gets confirmed as the biological father of a child by a law court, then he becomes natural guardian of minor child. It may be, as under a few circumstances, he could have all authority to obtain legal action on the behalf of his minor child.
If it is seen that the minor child’s father has no wish to contest the custody of minor child, he will continue to enjoy other rights when it comes to that minor child. For example, the father continues to have custodial rights regarding the minor child. Circumstances in specific cases vary and will determine whether the father will have complete visitation rights or whether the court will restrict the visitation. In a few cases, it may be important for the father to develop relationship with minor child prior to have an unsupervised visitation. Another concerning factor is the minor child’s age and the experience of the father in the rearing of the child.
Parental responsibility
The biological father also enjoys right to have a shared parental responsibility when it comes to concerning minor child. It is important for the child’s mother to consult and then discuss the number of issues that concern their minor child, like religion, vacations, illnesses and doctors among others. A father has the right of information about the minor child’s activities and also the right to participate in such activities.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Talking to your little one about your divorce can be rightly touted as one of the most awkward and stressful conversations you will ever have with him. It is perplexing for your child to understand the concept of a broken family and why he doesn’t get to live with both his parents anymore. Although, a majority of school going kids are familiar with the idea of single parent families, with their friends or peers having one of their parent living apart, it is difficult for them to accept it as a personal fate. However, by incorporating strategic planning based on honesty and emotional reassurance, you can take the sting out of the harsh reality and make them accept your separation for what it really is.
Break the news on a unified front
It is best to chalk out a suitable plan with your spouse and talk to your kid about the divorce together. It is more comforting for a child when he sees that both his parents are together in the decision of separating and have a mutual understanding over it. When both his mommy and daddy tell him that they are separating because of the constant unhappiness in the family due to their conflicts, it is easier for a child to accept the divorce as a practical reality of life and refrain from blaming himself for the split.
Reassure them of your love
The one obvious concern of a child witnessing a parental separation is that he will no longer receive their love and care. It is essential for you to comfort your child with simple words of reassurance and make him understand that a divorce will not change your compassion for him. You must make it a point to make your child realize that it is not his fault that you are no longer going to live together as a family.
Spare them the ugly details
Sharing inappropriate intricacies of your marital conflicts and divorce will do your child no good and only make the situation worse by leaving him confused. It is difficult for young children to understand how disliking each other can become so grave a problem that you decide to part ways. Bad mouthing your spouse for their unreasonable behavior, or showcasing your feelings of resentment and anger in front of your little one will make the situation even more hostile for him.
The emotional traumas of childhood can stay within the psyche of a child and make him grow up with skewed notions about life and its offerings. It is therefore important to help your child deal with the negativity of a divorce and accept it as a part of life rather than the end of it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
The “Right of First Refusal” concept in California divorce and custody cases awards one parent the first option to undertake the responsibility of the child in the absence of the other parent. What this means is that after a legal custody battle, one parent can take care of the child during the time that has been allotted for the other parent. The right of first refusal allows parents to take responsibility for child care instead of awarding it to a third party.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
