Online mediation or virtual mediation is the process of conducting mediation online, via the Internet, with the help of applications such as Skype, Facetime, and so on. The mediation process remains the same, the mediator and the two divorcing parties will be present, however, they will not be physically present at the mediator’s office, all will be communicating with each other via Skype or Facetime. While face-to-face mediation has its benefits such as a more meaningful communication between the parties, the mediator getting a better understanding of the couple by observing their tone, body language, and so on, online divorce mediation has its own advantages as well.
Online divorce mediation is perfect for busy professionals
Many a time in face-to-face mediation it just so happens that one of the parties fail to reach the mediator’s office on time because of their busy work schedule. With online mediation, both the parties can decide on a time that is suitable for them. They can then login from their office itself, and be present virtually for the mediation process. No rushing to the mediator’s office from their own office, no getting stuck in the traffic and reaching the mediation venue late. Also, if you need to travel extensively for work or if you are staying out of state, you do not have to take a day off to participate in the mediation process. You have the convenience of logging in from anywhere.
Online divorce mediation is cost-effective
Since it is possible to participate in the mediation process from home, you do not have to arrange for child care. Also, you will be able to save on all the traveling expenses.
Online divorce mediation is ideal for immobile individuals
For people who are unable to leave their home due to any medical condition or disability, online divorce mediation is very practical. They will be able to take part in the mediation process from their home. Also, in the case of older individuals, they will be spared the hassle of driving or finding someone to drive them to the venue.
Online divorce mediation can be empowering for certain parties
If one party is intimidated in the physical presence of the other party, then that party may not be able to speak openly and freely during a face-to-face mediation. Online mediation can empower such parties to speak their mind freely and confidently during the sessions. Online divorce mediation is ideal for couples who cannot stand each other as well.
Online mediation can be a learning experience for the couples as well. They will be able to communicate with each other online in the future to maintain their relationship after the divorce for discussing the needs of their children.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Self employed fathers, more often than not, have to face difficulties in obtaining child custody and visitation rights. It is the same in California also. Unlike salaried fathers, self employed fathers do not have regular hours of work. The courts always prefer that the child gets to spend quality time with a parent.
California courts lay emphasis on the father’s status quo (the current situation or state of things) when dealing with a case of child custody. They want to make sure that you can act in the best interests of your child. Whether you decide to move out of the house or not will not affect your rights of visiting or having custody of your child.
California Family Code 3046
The father may have moved out (for a short period of time) but is showing a keen interest in the life of his child. He is also making every effort to keep in regular touch and does not show any intensions of abandoning the child. The self employed father, then, stands a good chance of winning child custody and visitation rights.
But you should always be ready to spend more time with your child. You should discuss with your divorce lawyer before deciding if you should stay in the family home or move out.
Written agreement
It is best that you and your wife sign a written agreement. The agreement should detail out the schedule of your custody, visitation and any financial contributions you may be making. An existing agreement may stop the court from giving alternate ruling. It may accept the terms and conditions set out with minimal changes.
The agreement lets you have a certain amount of control over the ruling. The court is more likely to make a decision in your favor if it sees that you and your wife can agree and work together in the best interests of your child. But 2 things need to be kept in mind about the agreement.
The agreement will not be the ultimate decision regarding the issue of custody and other important aspects related to a divorce. You should sign post nuptial agreements and other settlements after the divorce.
The temporary agreement signed by you and your wife before the divorce should be prepared by an attorney. But it should not be too formal.
Uncontested divorces are quicker to settle and do not come with the stress and cost associated with a contested divorce. Uncontested divorces are ideal for spouses who do not have bitter battles to fight and settle in the court, are worried about the costs involved, and do not want to drag the procedure of divorce. The children, too, do not get affected as a result.
The State of California encourages such instances and helps to reach decisions on matters of child custody to let the parents raise the child by co-parenting and mutual decision making. Children can get quite affected by their parents’ divorce. The parents should follow certain guidelines to help decide on child custody.
Communication – The parents should decide on a schedule so that both parents get to spend sufficient time with the child. The family courts of California allow parents to have joint physical and joint legal custody of their child.
Issues to discuss – The parents should discuss what is best for their child. One parent should not try and restrict the visitation and custody rights of the other parent. All decisions made should be based on the following aspects –
Work and other related duties of each parent to decide who can spend the most time with the child and when.
The child’s school and other commitments so that the parents can plan their work around that.
Which parent is going to move out of the family home and how far away are they going to stay. The child should not have to travel a great deal to be with the other parent.
The status quo of the parents up until the divorce and how much of that is going to be maintained after the divorce.
Concerns regarding the child’s health.
Decisions regarding the education of the child.
Visitation rights on special occasions such as birthdays, parent teacher meetings, holidays and so on.
Willingness of the parents to bring in flexibility in their arrangements regarding the needs of their child.
Children aged above 14 years of age should be allowed to have a say in custody issues.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are a number of issues that may crop up in child custody and visitation cases not only in California but also other places. Awareness of such issues or how to deal with them will make it a lot easier for any parent to tackle these problems that are bound to come up when a child custody case is being heard by the family law court.
The various issues that can come up range from the child’s preferences to counseling, criminal convictions to the threat of abducting or actually abducting the child, interfering with child parent relation and so on.
Child’s preferences
Under section 3042 of the California Family Code, the preferences of the child regarding decisions about custody are given much consideration. But the Family Court takes into consideration the maturity of the child, any influencing from the parents, and possible alienation of one parent by the other parent before acting on the child’s preferences.
Counseling
The court evokes section 3190 of the California Family Code to ask for mandatory counseling of the child involved in a child custody case. It is up to the family law judge to ask both or either of the parents to accompany the child to the counseling sessions. The court may have statutory reasons to get the parents counseled as well, either together or separately. Any disputes between the parents have to be resolved for the best interests of the child. Counseling can last to up to a year.
Criminal convictions
Criminal convictions of either parent in crimes related to child abuse will have a significant influence in the outcome of a child custody and visitation case. The guilty parent will most certainly not get the custody, either sole or supervised, of the child in question unless it can be proven that the child will not come to any harm.
Any other criminal offence other than child abuse such as substance abuse or use of violence, will elicit the same response from the family court. The criminal history of the offender does not matter as much as the details of the present case. The matter of sole custody is out of the question but joint legal and physical custody may be granted.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
For cases involving a lot of friction between the separating parties regarding the custody settlement of their children, child custody mediation is the most effective approach to deal with the issues. With the help of an outside third party, the divorced parents can peacefully resolve their disagreements and reach a final mutually acceptable solution. Also, if the parents have worked out a mutual agreement, the professional mediator can assist them in devising a parenting plan which can be converted into the official child custody and visitation order, after the consent of the court of law.
How is mediation beneficial for you?
It is the mediator’s duty to play as a neutral third party in child custody related conflicts and try to resolve the issues by listening to the concerns of both the involved parties. Considering the bigger picture, the child custody mediation can be quite advantageous in reaching a mutually agreed upon settlement.
Child custody mediators help the separating parents in devising a parenting plan which ensures the best interests of the child.
Child custody mediators assist the separating parents in reaching a mutual settlement and creating a parenting plan that ensures that the child spends adequate time with both the parents.
Child custody mediators counsel you and help you effectively deal with your resentment and negativity towards your partner.
What exactly does the mediation process involve?
Child custody mediation is an effective approach to settling your custody and visitation related disputes without having to go to the court. Both the parents have the right to work out their conflicts and devise a customized agreement which would state what and how of taking care of their children. The court of law refers to this agreement as stipulation, parenting plan or a time share plan. More often than not, the mediator holds separate or coordinated meetings with both the parents with the aim of developing a sound understanding of the family’s history and concerns. He also has the obligation to share with the parents the important information regarding the needs and expectations of children in different developmental stages. The mediation process involves the discussion of several issues such as legal custody, vacation schedules, visitation and transportation related disputes.
If you and your partner think that you can reach a mutual agreement which ensures the best interests of your child, child custody mediation is probably the most effective approach for you.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
In a majority of divorce cases, both the parties involved are caught up in a perpetual cycle of resentment and retaliation. Both partners are willing to go to extremes in trying to avenge the psychological damage a divorce brings to them. However, if a child is involved in a parental separation, the situation becomes even worse. In order to create a peaceful transition from a happy family to a single parent upbringing for your child, you need to ensure that the co-parenting is carried out amicably with the other parent. There are a few co-parenting guidelines which you may follow in order to achieve minimum stress for your child.
Understanding your divorce settlement
Most of the co-parenting issues stem from a misunderstanding of the divorce settlement, which often leads to skewed notions about how one needs to carry out co-parenting. Asking questions regarding the visitation arrangement and having a sound understanding of its instructions is critical to a smooth co parenting procedure. Fighting over who will take the kid out on Halloween or what is the duration of the visit will be highly detrimental to the mental well being of your child. Since separate states have separate laws for visitation and custody related settlements, you need to consult your attorney and obtain a thorough understanding of what your divorce decree entails.
Think practical
It is understandable that in a highly hostile situation such as a divorce, the parties involved find it extremely difficult and draining to fight back their overflowing emotions. However, if you really care about the best interests of your child, it is utmost essential to do away with all lies, manipulation and resentment that might fuel your battle further. While it might seem tempting to vent all your pent up anger at every chance you get, it is best advised to remove all extreme emotions from your communication with your spouse.
Prevent any outside influence
It is best to keep your new spouse or partner out of the co parenting process with your ex. Asking your new boyfriend to pick the kids up from a dance class, will do no good in subduing the hostility with your ex. A replacement for your ex might actually be viewed as a threat to them, and might provoke unsolicited arguments. It is best advised to keep your new involvements away from co-parenting, until both you and your ex are emotionally detached in an entirety.
It is only when both parties become indifferent of each other’s existence, that the co-parenting actually becomes peaceful. Although, till the time both parties get affected by each other’s actions, the process might require a lot of effort from both sides, yet it is definitely worth a shot.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce or a legal separation is the ultimate culmination of all your marital conflicts with your spouse. Sometimes, the process of separation itself can become a major cause for conflict, when both the parties have to agree upon a common settlement. In some of the cases, both the parties might resolve their property division and custody related issues peacefully, with mutual consent. On the other hand, some of the separating couples might end up in an extended litigation, fighting for their individual rights, to achieve maximum benefit for themselves. The third category, however, involves couples who agree upon an out of court settlement of their post separation rights, through the process of mediation, also referred to as mediated divorce.
What exactly is mediated divorce?
As the name suggests, the medidated divorce is an approach to negotiating the rights, of the divorced couple, with the help of a third party professional mediator. In this process, both the partners hire a neutral mediator who works together with the parties towards settling on an agreement favorable for both the parties involved.
The mediated process generally involves ‘three-way’ mediation sessions, of both the parties and the mediator meet and discuss the issues together and try to reach a settlement of their own accord. The mediated divorce process may also demand the additional involvement of other professionals, such as neutral accountants or child custody specialists, who would also assist the parties, mediator, and the parties’ attorneys, if they have one, in reaching an out of court settlement.
How mediated divorce is beneficial for the parties involved
Despite the fact that in due course, the couple has to get the legal separation or divorce mandated by a court, the mediated process can considerably shorten the length of the court proceedings. Through divorce mediation, the couple can reach mutually agreed upon out of court settlements for post- divorce rights. Additionally, the mediated divorce enables both the parties to reach a conscientious settlement, which is beneficial to both of them.
The mediated divorce not only spares you the grueling court trials that often take years to resolve the issues, but also saves you a lot of unnecessary expenditure involved with a legal lawsuit.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Your divorce or separation ordeal can be an agonizing time for your children. There are a million questions that flash across the tender mind of a child when his/her parents are parting ways, and he/she is left in the custody of any one of the two. And if these questions are left unanswered, your child might be left befuddled with the circumstances, and start forming negative opinions about your character. Such children often grow up, with a distorted mindset about the sanctity of the institution of marriage. However, if you choose to discuss the situation with your child openly and with a clarity of mind, he/she might be better equipped to deal with the painful ordeal.
Choose your timing wisely
The first and foremost thing to keep in mind when breaking the news to your child is the right timing. Avoid confusing your child with the uncertainty of your divorce before it has been finally decided upon. Also, remember that once your child comes face to face with the ugly truth, he/she would require you to be with him/her afterward, to offer him/her reassurances.
Break the news together
In the midst of the emotional turmoil and conflict, it might seem difficult to agree upon anything with your spouse. However, for your child’s sake, it is essential that you do the talking along with your partner, as a team. When your child hears the same story from both the parents together, it assures him/her that it is a mutual decision and allows reinforcement that they are still loved.
Assure him/her that it is not his/her fault
More often than not, children end up taking the blame of their parent’s separation, on themselves. The child might think that his/her parents are separating because he/she did not do well in school or because he/she misbehaved. It is your responsibility to clear his/her mind of any such negativity and explain to him/her that your divorce is an adult decision that does not involve him/her in any way.
Spare your child the intricacies of your divorce
It is best not to display your disagreements in front of your child. You might be having a thousand problems with your spouse and probably a million reasons to stay away from him/her. However, it is in your child’s best interest, not to reveal every single detail of your conflicts to him/her. Calling your spouse names or arguing with them in front of your child would end up destroying their image in his/her eyes.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that all your child need in this heart-breaking time is a genuine reassurance and a consistency of the routine he/she relies on.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When a couple decides to get a divorce and share a child together, they need to look into the best interests of the child and what’s best for the child over their needs and desires. It is important for the child to have both of his parents – his mother and father involved in his life for a healthy and all round upbringing and stable mental and emotional development.
Why is joint or shared custody the preferred form of custody?
Joint or shared custody is always the preferred option when deciding custodial rights over the child. In joint or shared custody, both parents play a significant role in the upbringing of the child and bear the burden of raising the child together. The child spends 50 percent of his time with one parent and the other 50 percent of the time with the other parent and gets the best of both parents.
Shared custody is preferred also because it offers the parents some flexibility in terms of time and sharing the child’s responsibilities. So if one parent is busy with work or other commitments and cannot tend to the child on a particular day the other parent can always step in and relieve the other parent of the burden and take over the responsibility of the child. Shared custody gives both parents and the child flexibility with schedules and is better for the emotional and mental upbringing of the child. The child will have a better overall development and will be able to maintain relationships with peers better.
Divided custody – why should it be opted as the last resort?
Divided custody is one of the biggest mistakes that divorcing parents can make for their child. The parents see the custody of the child as a competition and become rivals with each other fighting over who should get the child. Each parent wants to prove that they are the better parent instead of focusing their primary concerns on the intellectual, mental and emotional well-being of the child. The child has to have two separate lives, go to two different schools, have two different sets of friends and this takes a huge toll on him physically, mentally and emotionally which could have a negative impact on his relationships and friendships.
Each parent tries to take credit for the child’s successes and tries to blame the other for the child’s mistakes. The child is forced to choose which parent he likes better and cannot have a healthy relationship with both parents like in the case of joint custody. The parents must learn to do what’s best for the child and not themselves and look at custody as a cooperation between both parents, not a competition. This is why joint custody of children is preferred over divided custody.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
In the event of a divorce of a couple with kids, California law provides legal rights towards the custody of the children. However, the approach incorporated in deciding upon the type of custody involves several factors related to the divorced couple. The law offers various types of child custody to the parent or guardians in the event of a legal separation.
Physical custody
The most commonly prevalent type is the physical custody, wherein the parent has the complete right to have the child live with him or her. Some states facilitate joint physical custody to both the parents who are living separately. In such cases, the child is supposed to stay alternatively with both the mother as well as the father for stipulated periods of time. Most of the times, a joint custody is provided only in cases where both parents are staying close to each other. The strain of travelling for the child is a major concern in deciding against a joint physical custody when the parents live too far apart.
Legal custody
The legal custody of a child implies that the parent has the legal right to make decisions with respect to the child’s upbringing, education and health. The parent awarded the legal custody of the child has the right to decide upon the religious choices, schooling and even medical services to be provided to the child. In some of the states, there is a further provision of a joint legal custody as well, wherein both the parents have to make shared decisions about the child’s well being and future.
Sole custody
A sole physical or legal custody is awarded to one of the parent, in the event that the other parent is found unfit for raising a child. There are several reasons such as drug abuse, alcohol issues or financial incapabilities that render a parent legally unfit for getting the custody of his or her child. However, nowadays in addition to sole physical custody, a joint legal custody is awarded to both the parents, wherein both the mother and the father avail the rights to making decisions for the welfare of the child.
Joint custody
As the name suggests, joint custody offers legal, physical or both rights to both the parents with respect to the upbringing of their child. Most of the parents, who are granted joint physical custody, also practice a joint legal custody of their child. However, the opposite is not often true.
The laws related to the allotment of child custody in the event of a divorce, are designed to make the ordeal simpler and lesser painful for the children involved. Therefore, a sound study and understanding of the various types of custodies is imperative in making a correct decision for the future and well-being of your child.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Online mediation or virtual mediation is the process of conducting mediation online, via the Internet, with the help of applications such as Skype, Facetime, and so on. The mediation process remains the same, the mediator and the two divorcing parties will be present, however, they will not be physically present at the mediator’s office, all will be communicating with each other via Skype or Facetime. While face-to-face mediation has its benefits such as a more meaningful communication between the parties, the mediator getting a better understanding of the couple by observing their tone, body language, and so on, online divorce mediation has its own advantages as well.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
