Divorces can be hard for some parents especially when kids are involved. It becomes even more hard when the affected parent is the non-custodial parent. Staying away from the children can be mentally and physically daunting. Every parent wants to spend as much time as he/she can with their children. The custodial plan is made to ensure that the non-custodial parent gets to spend quality time with the kids.
One of the important parts of custodial plans is the parenting schedule. Sometimes, the time is so short, it really becomes difficult for the non-custodial parent to have quality time with his/her child. There are ways to change the custodial plan and increase parenting time.
Court Order
Courts can order a change in the visitation hours if it finds that the non-custodial parent deserves to spend more time with his/her children. A court will decide whether spending more time with the non-custodial parent is in the child’s best interests.
Violation of parental plan
If the custodial parent is deliberately trying to limit your visitation time or preventing you from seeing your children, you can use the evidence to increase your visitation hours. In some rare cases, it even leads to a change in custody.
Both of you are equally responsible for paying child care and if the case arises where you are paying more than you should, then naturally your visitation hours should also increase. You can build a case claiming that since you are paying the entire child support by yourself, you are eligible to be the custodial parent. But it may not work every time since there are many reasons why the custodial parent pays less than he/she should.
The custodial parent is the primary caretaker of the child and should provide basic needs like food, clothing and shelter. If in case, the custodial parent is unable to provide any of the basic needs, the custody of the child can be changed. Or the non-custodial parent can be granted more time that he/she can spend with the child.
Conclusion
Visiting hours helps non-custodial parents spend quality time with their children. However, the time can be increased if there is evidence that the given time is not enough for the non-custodial parent.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
It is not easy to be a co-parent, especially after you have split from your spouse and your relationship with your former partner is strained. You may have apprehensions about the parenting abilities of your ex-spouse, worried about your child support or stressed about some issues. You could also be tired of the ongoing conflict and feel that all that animosity between you and ex-partner will never disappear.
However, when you co-parent in an amicable manner with your former spouse, you can provide security, the close relationship with your kids with both their parents and stability that they require. It is for the well-being of your children that there will be a possibility to overcome the challenges associated with co-parenting and build up a cordial and working association with your ex-spouse. These tips will help you to resolve conflicts on contentious issues, be consistent and remain calm so that the joint custody works well and your children feel secure and happy.
Tip 1: Keep your anger and animosity aside
If you want to enjoy a fruitful co-parenting experience, you need to have a check on your emotions. This means that you should keep your hurt, resentment, and anger at bay for fulfilling the needs of your kids. It is true that keeping such emotions at a distance could be the toughest part to work towards a good working relationship with your former husband but nevertheless, it is an extremely important one. Being successful as co-parents are opposed how you or your ex-spouse may feel about one another. Rather it is all about the future well-being, stability, and happiness of your kid. Avoid putting your kids in between. It is highly possible that you may not lose all the bitterness or anger about your divorce ever. However, the best technique will be to compartmentalize your emotions and keep telling yourself that these are your concerns but not your kid’s; you should ensure that the issues you have with your ex-are kept away from the kids.
Tip 2: Try To improve your communication with your ex
Meaningful, consistent and peaceful communication with your former partner is a must for making your co-parenting click, although they may not appear to be possible. However, everything starts with your mindset. You need to remind yourself that the peaceful communication between both of you can be highly needed for the well-being of your child. Prior to getting in touch with your ex, introspect how your discussion could affect your kid and make a resolution to conduct yourself in a dignified manner. The key point of every talk that you have with your ex should revolve around your kid. You need to also note in this context that meeting your former spouse physically may not be essential always. You can speak to him or her over the phone, exchange messages, emails or texts on a majority of the occasions.
Tip 3: You need to co-parent as a single team
Being a good parent also involves having frequent decisions with your ex-irrespective of what you feel about one another. When you communicate and cooperate with one another without bickering or hurting one another, making decisions become much easier and simpler on everyone. When both of you work together as a team, decision-making with respect to your child becomes quite easy.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
As thousands of couples decide to end their marriages every year, their kids are also affected in the process. But their reactions will depend to a large extent on their personality, the circumstances under which the parents decided to separate and their age. Kids often get affected when their parent’s divorce. Often, the first reaction these children go through is that of sorry, anger, frustration, sadness, and shock. However, these children can deal these feelings in a better way as they know how to cope up with stress. As an end result, many of them are more tolerant and flexible when they become young adults. At such trying times, the most crucial things both the parents can do are to help their children steer through it by taking the following steps:
Important steps
Try to minimize disruptions in the daily routines of their children.
Make sure that legal talks, heated arguments, and visible conflicts happen away from the kids.
Do not be negative in front of them. Conversation with close friends and private therapy sessions should not take place inside the house.
Both the parents should be involved in the lives of their kids. Indifference will hurt them more.
People going through divorce or separation require lots of emotional support from their families, clergy, professionals and friends. However, these adults should never seek support and help from their children though they may appear ready to do so.
Break the news gently
The moment you are completely sure of your divorce plans, you should speak to your children about the decision to separate. Yes, it will be not an easy task to break this news. In case it is possible, it is better if both the parents are present while the news is shared. Make sure that you adopt a neutral and unbiased tone and do not express your emotions of guilt, anger or disillusionment while telling them about your separation. Of possible rehearse how you are going to break the news from beforehand so that you go not lose your temper or become upset during the discussion.
You should discuss the matter in accordance with the temperament, maturity, and age of your kids. But one statement should be common. Whatever took place between both of you; your kids are not responsible for that. This is because a majority of the children feel that they should be blamed when things did not work out between their parents. So, it is extremely crucial that the parents reassure their kids about this.
Rather tell your children that at times the adults do not agree on things or their love for one another change and so they decide to live separately. But also tell them that children will tie the parents forever no matter what happens.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is a time of great hardship and both individuals have a hard time dealing with the reality. However, for some it is easier to accept the fact more than others. For young couples, who haven’t stayed married for a longer time, dealing with divorce is relatively easier than for gray couples. For gray couples, a divorce is more than just a physical separation from their partner. It is a new way of life and for some it can be very tough. Also, there is the question of property and asset separation which is more likely to be much more difficult for gray couples than for young couples.
Mediation is commonly used in divorce cases to ensure that the whole thing goes smoothly. But mediators might use different approach for young and gray couples because the issues are different.
Mediation for young couples
Lawyers who mediate young couples will often focus on the importance of marriage rather than a divorce. Often, mediators will offer couples to go for a separation instead. Since, the marriage period is small, a separation might help them understand what it means to stay apart from each other. Also, mediators will discuss the pros and cons of getting a divorce at an early stage. If the mediator becomes convinced that reconciliation is not possible, then he will focus on the advantages of getting a divorce. It is expected that younger couples won’t have children or much property and therefore, the divorce becomes much easier.
Mediation for gray couples
Gray couples have spent a longer time in marriage and their decision to divorce must be a strong one. However, mediators will often ask couples to reconsider the case and look for options to avoid a divorce. Most gray couples will have children and their assets and properties will also be huge. On top of that there will be the issue of taxes. So, overall, things like child custody, property division, alimony, tax and debt will play a major part in the divorce.
Conclusion
Mediation is important for every couple planning to get a divorce. However, not every couple will require the same type of mediation. For younger couples, the approach will be slightly different than it will be for gray couples. Things like huge assets, child custody, tax and debt won’t be a big issue for young couples as it will be for gray couples. Mediators must consider every factor before mediating.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce mediation is an attractive process for California couples that seek to resolve their disputes amicably without the need to have a public battle in court. However, there are still a lot of things that people do not know about divorce mediation and common misconceptions that exist about the topic.
Mediation is the best option
The whole point of an amicable settlement without the divorce going to court sounds attractive to most people, but divorce mediation is not always the best option for couples. This is especially true for couples in which one partner has a history of emotional abuse, and for couples that need to untangle and split a complex web of possessions between each other.
Pets cannot be a part of the mediation process
This is completely untrue as the California government recently passed a law concerning the division of pets in a divorce. The mediator can advise the couple on who is most likely to receive ownership of the pet or how they can work out a pet-sharing deal. This prevents people from stealing pets from their former partners and allows couples to settle the dispute amicably.
Mediation does not require individual lawyers
The mediator is typically a neutral party whose job it is to guide both parties in the divorce. However, it can be a complex process, and not seeking an attorney can be a very foolish thing to do unless you have complete knowledge of the law. You should definitely have an attorney who looks over the final mediation document before it becomes official. Both the parties are advised to have independent attorneys to safeguard their interests.
Mediation is not better than litigation for children
Most people assume that divorce is always going to be bad for their children no matter what. They assume that litigation and mediation are the same, but this could not be farther from the truth. By its very nature, litigation is an adversarial process that promotes a climate of tension, ill will, and stressful court appearances. On the other hand, mediation promotes a culture of cooperation and a desire to settle disputes amicably without excessive volatility. Mediators are trained to be concerned about the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved, and it can be considered to be a first step to the future where the parents will no longer be together.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
As a Californian, you’re probably aware of the fact that our state is quite progressive. As a result, progressive policies are bound to affect every area of a Californian’s life and that includes family law. In this blog, we are dealing with a very specific topic under family law – parentage.
California uses the term “parentage” interchangeably with terms such as “parental relationship” and “paternity”. Typically, paternity is established by the child’s parents or the courts. What that means is if a child is born in a marriage, the mother’s husband is automatically presumed to be the father under the law.
If a couple have had a child together but are not married, the law does not automatically assume that the father is the biological parent of the child, which may require a genetic DNA test to establish as well as a Declaration of Paternity signed by the father to establish parentage and then custody.
Establishing paternity
To establish parentage or paternity, a court order must be obtained or a Declaration of Paternity must be signed to legally indicate who the child’s parents are. For instance, if a child is born out of wedlock, he/she is considered to not have a father unless parentage is legally established. This applies even when the father has evidence to show that he is the biological father.
The establishing of parentage is extremely important as it has a major impact on matters such as child support, visitation rights, and custody during divorce procedures.
If an individual refuses to establish paternity, the court will order them to undergo genetic testing.
Once parentage is established, the concerned man/woman will have to take up the role of a parent. He/she will have to pay child support, 50% of child care costs, and uninsured health care expenses. The same goes for individuals who are legally established as parents.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Co-parenting is usually seen as a responsibility shared by divorced couples, but there is more to co-parenting than a simple responsibility. Co-parenting can also involve someone else other than the parents. When a parent and another person take care of the child, it is also known as co-parenting.
Do what is best for the child
When it comes to child custody or any other laws where children are involved, the California court always rules in favor of the children. If you are at a crossroad where you need to take important decisions regarding your children remember to do what is best for the children. Because it is the children that you will be ultimately worried about.
Don’t talk bad about your ex in front of the children
It’s natural to talk bad about your ex in front of your children especially when you have gone through a bad marriage. But always remember that in doing so it is your children who will get affected. Your ex will remain an important part of the responsibility towards your children. When you criticize your ex, a certain negativity develops in your children which can be dangerous in the long run.
Never tell your ex you are the better parent
At times, you will feel the urge to show your children that you are better than your ex but it’s a good idea to stay away from that notion. Saying that the other parent is bad won’t make you look like the best parent in the world. Moreover, such things don’t work in a court of law in California.
Establish rules and family values
Family rules and values are central to every parenting. Teaching your children the importance of family life can be a great way to keep things organized in life. Moreover, it will also help you and your ex maintain an amicable relationship. As a parent your main aim is to create a healthy environment for your children where they can grow and learn life’s important lessons. So what better place than their own home.
Make plans for in-law and family visits
After getting a divorce, having the support of your in-law and family members is very important even though you may not want to see them. It’s good because the children should not feel alienated after you get your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is never easy, no matter how amicable it is. There are numerous assets and properties that need to be divided, not to mention custody of children and other aspects. In California, a person that files for divorce has 3 ways to proceed – mediation, litigation and a collaborative divorce. There is no universal best choice among the 3 and each method is suitable for certain circumstances.
Mediation
Mediation is the process where a divorcing couple sits with an impartial and neutral mediator to decide on the division of assets and properties. While both parties have to hire their own lawyers before a settlement is agreed, the mediator does not have to be a lawyer. Mediation allows for spouses to split rather peacefully and consequently benefit the children. Cost is reduced along with complete confidentiality of all matters discussed. Mediation is best for amicable divorces where the spouses aim to remain in touch and maintain a good relationship.
Litigation
Litigation is the most common and oldest divorce format used. This is because in over 80% of divorce cases, the decision is made by one of the parties and is not mutual. In this case, mediation and collaborative divorce might not work as both parties are working against each other. Despite common believes, litigation often ends with an out-of-court settlement. The couple works with lawyers to come to an agreement regarding custody, division of assets, along with alimony payments and liabilities. Once a settlement is formed both parties sign it and a judge also signs off on it.
If a litigated divorce does go to court, all final decisions are made by the judge including decisions regarding assets and custody. It is recommended in most cases to keep the divorce out of the court as it could have a negative impact on the children and lead to more animosity among the parties. Litigation is the most public and the slowest of all 3 options.
Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, the decision to get a divorce is often mutual and there is no animosity. Both parties hire an attorney and decide on the terms of the divorce. Unlike litigation, the attorneys in a collaborative divorce try to help couples come to a mutual agreement. Collaborative divorcees can also hire financial planners that will help plan their lives through the divorce and after. Therapists and coaches may also sit with the spouses to helps them resolve issues. In a collaborative divorce, there is no chance of going to court. In fact, documents are signed before the proceedings stating that the attorneys must withdraw if court is threatened or the settlement fails.
Both mediation and collaborative divorce are only recommended when both parties are on equal footing and have a mutual understanding. Spouses that doubt their partner’s declarations or do not understand the various assets on hand (such as finances) should choose litigation. The same applies when substance abuse, physical or mental abuse is involved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
One of the most important things that parents have trouble dealing with during a divorce is child custody. Custody plans are made based on the current situation of the parent. It includes things like visitation time and agreements based on the child’s preference.
However, situations can change any time and then it becomes difficult for parents to stick to the original custody plan. At times like these the custody plan is subject to modification provided the court allows it.
Below is a list of the grounds based on which child custody plans can be modified.
Relocation
Relocation can happen for either of the parent at any point of time. Relocation is one of the major grounds on which custody plans can change. But that depends on the state. In California, there are travel restrictions for parents but if the relocation is unavoidable, the court allows the parent to change the custodial plan.
Relocation does not mean that the custody of the child will get transferred from one parent to the other. The court makes sure that the child stays in touch with both parents.
Unhealthy environment
A change in custody pans is often requested when one parent feels that the other is not providing a good environment for the children. However, the parent making the claims must provide proof and substantial evidence that the environment provided by the other parent is indeed bad.
An unhealthy environment means a parent who moves frequently, does not hold a steady job, has too many relationship and is misbehaves with the children.
Child’s preferences
California courts always take the child’s preference into consideration before passing a judgment. In fact, it is the single most important factor that determines a custody battle and custodial plan. When a custodial plan is changed, the court looks at the situation of the child and determines if changing the situation will have any effect or not.
Conclusion
Creating and maintaining a child custody plan is an important job for divorced parents as their children are at the center of it. A child custody plan can be changed anytime depending upon the situation of the parents and the children. A California court always takes the child’s preference into account and decides whether the situation will be beneficial for the child or not. A parent’s relocation and an unhealthy environment are the top reasons for the change in child custody plans.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
It is the wish of every parent to be with his/her child after a divorce. But one of the worst consequences of divorce is that one parent must sacrifice his/her custodial rights for the other. According to state laws, non-custodial parents in California get visiting hours as set by the custody agreements. But parents often remain unsatisfied with such agreements. They want to spend more time with their children.
Consult an attorney
The best way to assess the agreement plan and work accordingly is by consulting an attorney. Non-custodial parents should seek the advice of an experienced lawyer and decide what works best for them. There are many good lawyers available in California and each offer their own set of expertise.
Always remember that every system has loopholes and a good lawyer knows where those exist and how they can be used for his/her client’s benefits.
Avoid visiting the court
One of the best ways to increase visiting hours or even get custody of your child is by finding contempt against your spouse and filing them in a court. However, in all likelihood, the judge dealing with your case might be burdened with work and may get irritated having to deal with a case that was supposed to be finished. It is possible for your plan to backfire if the judge feels you are deliberately trying to increase visiting hours.
It is therefore advised to avoid going to the court as much as possible after a judgement has been passed. Go only if the case is serious and requires a second hearing. Otherwise, simply stick to the advice of a divorce lawyer.
Take advantage of the system
As mentioned before, the system is full of loopholes. There are problems and identifying those problems should be your main aim. A non-custodial parent may request for a change in custodial plans when there is a substantial change in the situation. Substantial change includes emergencies, health, employment or denial of visitation.
If the California court believes the changes are negatively affecting a child, it may change the visiting hours and reestablish new plans for the non-custodial parents.
Conclusion
Changing custodial plans and visiting hours once they have been established can be tough but not impossible. The judicial system has weak spots which can be used in one’s favor. Courts can change custodial plans for non-custodial parents if it finds it in the child’s best interests.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorces can be hard for some parents especially when kids are involved. It becomes even more hard when the affected parent is the non-custodial parent. Staying away from the children can be mentally and physically daunting. Every parent wants to spend as much time as he/she can with their children. The custodial plan is made to ensure that the non-custodial parent gets to spend quality time with the kids.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
