When it comes to kids, almost all parents are protective and want to ensure that their kids are left without the greatest worries in the world. Taking that into perspective, when parents decide to go through a divorce, parents want their children to stay immune from the effects of the divorce. This is vital, because one of the parties that is heavily affected by divorce proceedings are the children. It is not uncommon for children of broken marriages to end up with several emotional and psychological issues and so it is vital that parents try and work to keep their children away from their divorce.
Here are 10 tips to make sure your kids are kept away from the effects of your Orange County divorce proceedings:
It is important that whenever you talk to your children, there is no mention of your former spouse in the negative sense. Irrespective of your feelings towards your spouse, the kids will still regard them as part of their family and such comments are likely to affect them mentally.
It is best for you to avoid any kind of arguments with your divorced spouse. Arguments are never perceived healthily by children, and for them to see their two favorite companions in life fight it out will be mental torture.
Don’t talk about legal or financial issues in front of your child.
One of the worst things you can do is use your child as a means to communicate with your ex spouse. To make sure your child is kept away from the toxic effects of your divorce case, it is important that normal communication continues between you and your spouse.
Don’t ask your child questions about your spouse. Kids are suspicious and the wee bit of over indulgence that you show will alert them that you are using them as a spy on their other parent.
Make sure your child meets the other spouse whenever they want. Using child visitation and custody as a weapon leaves your child vulnerable to the toxic effects of divorce.
Don’t tell your child they have to decide who to live with when their parents get divorced. Such a statement is likely to be interpreted by the child as their time of choosing between both parents and that will never go down well with them.
Make it your Job to categorically tell your children that the separation is by no means their fault.
Take your visitations seriously and arrive on time always. After divorce, you should make your child an even greater priority. Not showing up on visitations leaves the children devastated.
Take interest in the activities, working, and conversations of your child during your custodial time. It is integral for you to show your child affection and try to make up for the torment of divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
If your child lives with you, but has to be away from you for periods of time, it can be tough. Even though your child is with your ex, you still feel as if a part of you is missing. Even if your child stays with you for a longer time, you still feel a form of separation anxiety when they are away. Did you know that you aren’t the only one feeling that way?
Your ex and your child feel exactly as you do. No one likes to be away from their kid just as no child likes to be away from their parents. Therefore, you along with your ex and child will have to learn how to manage handovers. Follow these six tips to learn to manage handovers:
1. Understand Other People’s Feelings
When you have to give up your child to your ex, you feel nervous and anxious while the receiving end feels excited. Both parties need to understand each other’s feelings in order to make a smooth transition. Don’t approach the handover with resentment, but know that the other party in a couple of weeks will feel the same way as you do now.
2. Do Not Bring the Entire Family to the Handover
The handover isn’t easy for your child, as he or she will be joining one parent and leaving behind the other. It may be an emotional time for both the parents and the child. Therefore, you need to make it between just the three of you. This means to leave the grandparents, stepchildren, stepparents, and best friends at home.
3. Comprehend Your Child’s Feelings
Your child may be the most vulnerable during a handover. Children will act differently and their behavior may change as the time nears for the handover to occur. You will need to comprehend your child’s feelings and not lash out at them if they feel the need to rebel. It’s preferred that you sit them down, both before and after the handover to talk to them about it. When your child arrives back home, give him or her time to adjust to the surroundings.
4. Do Not Fight with Your Ex
It’s given that your ex and you may not get along with each other very well and you may take his or her outburst against you as a personal attack. The unexpected outbursts or taunts may occur at the handover, which you need to learn to ignore. Remember, the person giving their child away at the handover may say something hurtful to their ex, as they are probably already hurting from inside.
5. Do Not Rush Your Child to Spend Time with You
The parents getting the child may be over the moon with excitement and may want to spend time with them immediately. However, your child may not feel the same, especially on their first day with you. So, don’t pressure your child, but give them time to adjust.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
No matter what stage of the divorce process you are in, the arrival of the new year makes it a great time to make a few changes that will put you and your divorce on the high road. Especially for those in a litigated divorce, the process can make you feel stuck and bogged down. Follow these tips to regain a sense of momentum in your life:
Take care of yourself.
Many New Year’s resolutions focus on losing weight and making more money. But if you are going through a divorce, your number one resolution should be to be to surround yourself with support, kindness and love. Make a standing weekly or monthly date with good friends and family members. The American Psychological Association suggests joining a divorce support group. Having lots of emotions is normal – decide now to start getting them out so that they don’t control you.
If you have children, see a co-parenting counselor.
This is a great resolution for parents in any stage of the divorce process. Even divorced parents who have amicably co-parented for years can benefit from a few sessions with a co-parenting counselor. This allows parents to evaluate how things have been working and to communicate about any areas for improvement.
If you are not using divorce mediation, give it a chance.
Even if you are in the middle of a long, litigated divorce, it is not too late to save money and time by exploring mediation. If you and your soon-to-be-ex are both feeling demoralized by the expense and length of an adversarial divorce, the new year could be a great time to open the discussion about taking a new, less costly and more peaceful path to finalizing the divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce mediation is regarded as the more civil and peaceful way for couples to get themselves divorced. Divorce as a process can leave a sense of bitterness in the couples – divorce mediation on the other hand rectifies this problem by encouraging the couples to solve their issues themselves through dialogue. This means that a sense of cooperation and consultation is likely to begin between the spouses which might not mend their fences altogether but it will stop them from deteriorating further.
Why It Should Work For You?
Mediation is a process that involves no judge – only an Orange County divorce mediator. And the mediator doesn’t decide the case, rather facilitates and encourages the couples to talk their differences out and agree a solution among them. This means the result of divorce mediation depends on each of the spouse. For a mediation to be successful, the mindset of the spouses going into the process matters more than any other thing.
If the spouses go into the process wanting to win, then divorce mediation is unlikely to garner positive results because there will be no sense of cooperation, the spouses will only want to maneuver each other to get the greatest monetary advantage. Yet if the spouses use the same process and go with the mentality of ending their marriage and solving the pending issues amicably, the results are likely to be very different. In such a case, each spouse will be willing to make concessions and accept the rights of the other parties, which will allow the couples to maximize the gains of the divorce mediation process.
What You Need For Orange County Divorce Mediation
Mediation processes are dependent on the discussion and agreement of a solution between the two spouses. This means that if the other party doesn’t agree to the proposed solution, there might have to be a new solution proposed that’s acceptable to that particular party. The most important thing in such a situation for you is to know what your demands are and you should come into the mediation process prepared. If after several attempts a solution isn’t reached, you’ll need the law on your side to make sure you don’t get the rough side of the bargain.
Researching beforehand is another way to achieve it. You should back your point and demand with legal arguments that should be compelling to the other spouse. Another important aspect is being aware of the financial position. Finances take up most of the time in any kind of divorce mediation and you’ll be able to garner the best results of your mediation process if you knew the financial position and thus could easily protect your rights and rightful assets.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Military personnel are considered the protectors of the nation, who lay down their lives to defend the country we love. While all of us have respect for the military personnel that protect our motherland, have any of us wondered if their legal rights are similar to that of a common U.S. citizen? Military personnel have a life that’s for the most part alien compared to the life we have.
Most military men and women, however, do get married like the rest of us and they too can have problems in their married life. Problems in married life usually spell out divorce and there can be instances where divorce is the only option left for such personnel. While the process of family law or divorce mediation is rather hassle free and easy to go through, there can be complications if the dispute involves a current military personnel as one of the spouses.
The Issues They May Face
It should be clear by now that the military personnel have the same legal rights as that of us civilians and are likely to face the same issues we face and maybe more. At the time of the divorce, military personnel can go through issues such as:
Child custody
Child Support
Alimony payments
Division of assets
Rights of Modifications
The Benefits
There are two ways to a divorce available to them, getting a divorce through litigation or getting Orange County divorce mediation. While both are likely to get the desired result of separation and ending of marriage, it is recommended that family law and divorce mediation is used because it is a cheaper and more private for the spouses to settle their differences and agree to a solution and a post divorce agreement. Privacy is likely to be an important consideration for military personnel because they wouldn’t want the respect that comes with being military personnel to be tarnished by any such cases and bad publicity.
The View of the Law
The act that governs how civil matters apply to military personnel is the Service Members Civil Relief Act. It has a provision which doesn’t allow the lawsuits against members of the military that are currently deployed from going ahead. This act is of great aid to military personnel since it protects them in matters such as child custody, alimony payments/spousal support, and even divorce litigation proceedings.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The most important thing for most people is their family. All age groups of people right from the age of infancy to the age of retirement cherish their families. Most families are known to have a certain reputation in the society.
This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.
Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.
When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.
The Effect of Litigation
In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished. Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.
In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.
The Effect of Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.
This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.
The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Some parties come to divorce mediation in Orange County and elsewhere because of the cost advantages of this process over litigation. This is a valid reason since divorce mediation is considerably more cost-efficient when compared to litigation as there is no need for two separate attorneys and court fees. As such, the financial considerations are understandably the reasons why people come to divorce mediation. There are, however, other costs as well that justifies considering divorce mediation over litigation.
Cost of Emotions
This isn’t a monetary expense, yet it is a heavy cost that most couples have to pay in the litigation process. Mediation, on the other hand, is your chance to significantly minimize the emotional costs. Why? Good Orange County divorce mediators are adept at handling the emotional side of divorces and will be good comforters to you. Unlike the aggressive court proceedings, here the mediator will tend to keep a tab on emotions and make sure the mediation is carried out in a peaceful and calm manner. When you are emotionally charged, especially if you have kids,, breaking down emotionally isn’t an option. A good divorce mediator will act as a calming influence in your life and help you get through the rough patch unscathed.
Lack of Attendance on Job/Business
This is a monetary expense just like the financial costs. In court cases and litigation processes, each spouse will have to make court appearances. These court appearances can range from a few to many, as all hearings are usually necessary to attend. The hearing is scheduled after seeing the availability of the judge and both the spouses’ attorneys. This means that the spouses will have to attend the hearings on the date set irrespective of their schedule. In most cases their job and their business will be neglected on such days, and this can be really costly. In contrast, in divorce mediation, the dates for the process are set according to the availability of both the spouses and are flexible to change.
Out-of-the-Blue Financial Hardships
Starting a divorce through an attorney means that each spouse has likely paid an initial retainer fee. The retainer fee is the advance of all the meetings and calls that the attorney will have and charge at an hourly rate. However, it is common in court cases for clients and attorneys to contact one another multiple times. This means a spouse is likely to have very high legal fees. A spouse may also be needed to pay extra amounts for accountants and other experts that are called in to help resolve the case.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining some of the hard facts and harsh realities about the current divorce process in the United States.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The process of divorce can be bitter more often than not. When the time comes for couples to end a relationship that they had willingly wanted to pursue, emotions can sometimes get the best out of them and lead to a hateful attitude between the spouses. For example, when a couple that has been married for a very long time separates, there is likely to be a strong sense of betrayal and disloyalty between them.
It is important for couples who are going through an Orange County divorce, or want to go through with it, to know that divorce isn’t only just between the two spouses. It has a far greater affect on a large number of people from both the families. Your divorce will determine the reactions of your family and friends. A bitter divorce that is full of mudslinging, accusations, and resentment will mean that the separation of the two families will become as bitter as the divorce itself.
There are two ways for a couple to end their marriage and seek a divorce. One is through the litigation process in courts and the other through California divorce mediation. In litigation there is always the sense of competitiveness and rivalry which, when coupled with the tensions in the divorce, can become an almost unbearable volcano of emotions. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is considerably different. Divorce mediation is built on the principle of cooperation and peace among the spouses. Divorce mediators are trained to facilitate and promote harmony among the spouses and encourage them to settle their differences through discussions.
Love is an important part of one’s life. According to most poets and intellectuals, it is an expression of the human side of a person. As such, love is an important component in any couple’s life. Yet classifying love to only exist between the two spouses is unfair. Love is a feeling of admiration which during a marriage is bound to exist between the couple and their families. The sense of togetherness and oneness are all signs of mutual admiration between the couple that shows that love exists.
After divorce though, for most couples their bitter end means that the feeling of mutual respect almost seems to evaporate. How can this fate be avoided? Choosing Orange County divorce mediation will help you facilitate and experience an end to a relation that is amicable and not bitter. If the end of relationship is amicable, the mutual respect between the spouses can continue.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining how divorce mediation can save the financial future of your children and your family.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
When it comes to kids, almost all parents are protective and want to ensure that their kids are left without the greatest worries in the world. Taking that into perspective, when parents decide to go through a divorce, parents want their children to stay immune from the effects of the divorce. This is vital, because one of the parties that is heavily affected by divorce proceedings are the children. It is not uncommon for children of broken marriages to end up with several emotional and psychological issues and so it is vital that parents try and work to keep their children away from their divorce.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
