No matter how old they are when you and your significant other decide to part ways, your children will still be greatly affected by the divorce. It will be up to you and your partner to see to it that they handle the news well. Don’t bombard them with the news when they least expect it, but explain to them why both of you have taken this decision.
Even though your children may already know that something’s up, most probably, they are too afraid to admit. For this one time, you and your partner will have to band together and break the news gently to them, and here’s how you should do it:
1. Do It Together
When you break the news to your children, you should do it together. Parents that do it alone because they can’t stand their ex, confuse their child even more, as they will be hearing two different versions from two different perspectives. Therefore, both of you need to sit together to decide on a story to tell your child. Try to agree on a story to tell them that doesn’t end with your father or mother is bad.
2. Do Not Blame Your Partner
Your partner and you may not see eye to eye anymore, but the doesn’t give you grounds to mock your ex in front of your child. Your child doesn’t need any more drama in their life, as this is a sensitive time for them. If your children are young, they will be more impressionable, which means they may blame themselves for your divorce. This is something that you need to avoid doing at all costs and anytime, you well up with anger, think of your children to help you cool down and regain your exposure.
3. Use Simple Language
Young children don’t want you to provide them with a complex reason such as “Your father cheated on me.” You want to explain to them about what is exactly going to happen after the two of you get divorced. You start by telling them that one of you is going to get an apartment, which they will come and visit. However, this conversation needs to happen after both of you have decided on the days and times each will get to spend time with your child.
4. Do Not Delve Into the Details
You will have to stay organized during this time, as you don’t want your child to come across anything that they shouldn’t be seeing. Moreover, you will have to take certain precautions when discussing your divorce proceedings. You don’t want your child to witness both of you discussing matters that rile each other up. So, choose a time, place, and day to talk about this, away from home.
Children are the glue that keeps a family together and you want to keep that glue intact by being careful in how you both address each other in their presence.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Going through a divorce can take a toll on your health and your mood. You don’t feel as energetic and full of life as you used to. Most of the time, you probably sulk around the house or apartment that you’re now living in wondering why this happened to you.
Now, you’ll have to drag yourself to court each day to look him or her in the eye, something that you wish you didn’t have to. The end of the marriage will not be as amicable as the beginning was, and the burden of knowing that may be slowly eating you up inside. The moment that you may dread the most is having your failed marriage on display for others to see and talk about how you failed to work out the differences.
You fear that they will deem you responsible or side with your partner without knowing the whole truth. That’s when you wish to hide in your room and never come out. Do you know what we think about your self-defeating thoughts? We want you to stop telling yourself that it was your fault or that you didn’t try hard enough.
Instead, tell yourself that you gave it your all, but this was how it was meant to be. However, it’s easier said than done, as going to court and seeing him blame you or go after your kids, if you have any, may devastate and break you. In order to stay strong and rise above the self-defeating thoughts, try to convince your partner to try divorce mediation.
How Will Divorce Mediation Help You Squash Your Negative Thoughts?
Divorce mediation will provide you with a peace of mind. How? Unlike in litigation proceedings where it’s a do or die situation, in divorce mediation, both parties are putting their differences behind them and moving forward with the divorce in a mature manner. All the petty and major issues are addressed with their solutions drawn up. Each party gets to tell their side of the story, why they need this, and whether something can be exchanged.
In doing so, it creates a better understanding between the two parties, helping them come up with a solution to a problem that will benefit both of them. Moreover, it gives you the opportunity to depart on good terms so if you see your ex later on in life, neither of you will feel furious or cheated by each other.
If you have children, divorce mediation should be at top of your list anyways. No parent would like to put his or her children through the turmoil of seeing two angry parents. Through divorce mediation, you will be able to drop your child off to your ex’s house without any hesitation and resentment.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Most divorces, however amicably they are resolved, tend to leave a stressful impact on both the parties that are involved. A divorce is a life changing experience and hence, it is definite that it is likely to have ramifications on your future, and not just your present. When you know that there will be an impact of your divorce on the future, you should try to make sure that impact is positive. To make sure you have a bright future, there are few tips that you should follow after your divorce.
· Stay Positive
The most common mindset after a divorce, is to continue to recall the negative aspects of the divorce and feel pain over them time and again. The best way to tackle such a situation is to look at the bright side. Look at the positive aspects that might come as a result of the divorce and continue to concentrate on them.
· Talk to Your Spouse, Clear the Air
However long your marriage would have lasted, it was still one of the most beautiful relations in the world for you. After it has ended, there shouldn’t be a sense of bitterness among the two of you. The best way to ensure you stay free of stress and disarray, you should clear the air with your spouse. Establish and maintain good communications with your spouse, especially if you have kids.
· Take Care of Yourself
The best way to have a good future is to stay in fine shape and good health throughout. It is often seen that people tend to stop caring about themselves when they have just gone through a divorce. It is important that in such times of high stress, you eat and sleep right, or else you will be risking your health.
· Give Respect To Get Respect
The easiest thing to do is to bad mouth your spouse once the Orange County divorce proceedings are over. The more you talk negatively about your spouse, the greater the amount of negativity that will surround you. This point is highly applicable if you have kids with your spouse. Kids can be very badly affected by divorce, and the last thing they would want at such a juncture is to hear negative talks about their other parent.
· Be Strong Where You Have To Be
Sometimes if you aren’t string for your point of view, it is seen as your declaration of defeat. That however, should not be the case. One aspect of making sure life after divorce is better is that you have to ensure you get your rights in the divorce. Stand strong on issues such as child support, alimony payments, and divisions of assets in the court, and don’t get bullied into agreeing anything.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Same sex divorce and dissolution of domestic partnership mediation can help your partner and you end your marriage or domestic partnership on amicable terms. If things aren’t working out between the two of you, both of you can seek a divorce mediator. However, before you do, you should know that same sex marriage is not legal in every state and the laws to grant a divorce are different from straight couples. Following are some differences that same sex couples should know:
1. Location of Marriage
Same sex couples that married in a state that legalized same sex marriage, but live in a state that has yet to, need to file in the state that recognized their union in order to get a divorce. Additionally, the same sex couples need to be a resident of the state that they are filing. For instance, California, which allows same sex couples to get married, requires them to live there for six months.
2. Living in Two Different States
Same sex couples that no longer live with each other, but are separated and living in different states will come across certain challenges. For instance, you live in Ohio where same sex marriage is recognized while your partner moved to Iowa that doesn’t recognize the union. For all medical decisions, your ex in Iowa will be in-charge of making medical decisions. Even if Iowa doesn’t recognize the union, it recognizes medical decisions.
3. You Cannot Remarry, Unless Divorced
Same sex couples need to take extra care when moving on to the next relationship, especially if they haven’t filed for divorce. If they become married again, they will face a bigamy charge. You will have to get a divorce in the state you got married, before moving on.
4. Laws Are Always Changing
Laws change constantly, which means that the laws of a particular state that doesn’t allow same sex marriages can change as well. If they do change while the same sex couple is still living there, they will get all the rights of a married couple. This means that both of you will now be eligible for divorce.
5. Child Custody Problems
If you and your partner adopted a child together, you will not be treated any differently in the court of law than other married couples. The proceedings of who gets custody of the child are the same for them as they are for everyone else. Just as every other soon to be divorced couple, you and your partner will have to sit down with a divorce mediator to decide who gets custody on what days.
6. Pre-Nuptial Agreement
Although most straight couples may seek a pre-nuptial agreement, if they have anything to lose if a divorce occurs, most same sex couples do not. Since same sex marriages are fairly new, most of them do not have a pre-nuptial agreement.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Being a good parent to your child does not have anything to do with your marriage being intact. This statement is important to remember for parents who tend to get depressed at the prospect of single parenting after and during an Orange County divorce. Children who live with single parents lead a different life, and the parent who has custody needs to be on top of things at all times. You have to realize that the responsibilities you shared with your partner in raising your children are now yours to bear.
We know that whether the household of the single parent is under a father or a mother, parenting through a divorce, and after it, can be a huge task to fulfill. Here are some tips on how to make sure you maintain your quality of parenting.
· In Your House Only You Rule
The most important part about parenting is being able to set boundaries. The faster you set boundaries and the clearer they are, the easier parenting will become for you. One of the biggest mistakes that single parents can do is to give their children the status that is equal to peers, thereby undermining their own authority over them. While this may, in the short term, make for a pleasant time. This is likely to catch up with you over the long term, and lack of discipline and control over the child is the most obvious drawback of this strategy. To make sure you stay an effective parent, keep that control and authority over your child intact.
· Believe In Yourself And The Task At Hand
The only way you can make sure you are a good single parent for your child during the divorce proceedings is to know that you are capable of being one. Belief is vital to achieve anything, especially an uphill task such as this one. To have the best shot at being a successful parent, you should be highly motivated. The only thing worst for your child to see his parents breakup is to see the parent in charge of him doubting his own ability. Believe in yourself, keep a positive approach, and stay positive throughout the parenting process.
· Deal With The Increased Stress And Know Your Limitations
It is common for single parents to start to feel consumed and choked by the large volume of responsibilities arriving suddenly after a divorce. At this point, it is important that you keep your calm and channel your energy first of all to try and prioritize the task, and then to effectively tackle them one by one. At the end of the day, you should always remember that you are only one person and can only do so much. You’ll need to talk to your children and work with them as a team. Don’t worry, it’s all worth it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Marital settlement agreement is a contract signed by both parties, agreeing on the terms and conditions decided by them during the divorce mediation process. The contract is then made part of the dissolution of marriage order and has the same impact as a judge would have if he or she had decided on who gets what in court.
If the contract is just, both divorcing parties will be content with what they agreed upon during the mediation sessions. However, in the case of a family court, the judge may view the agreement to make a ruling on the fairness of the agreement drawn up.
Normally, the agreement is final, which is a relief for both parties, as the conflicts were put to rest during the divorce mediation sessions. In some cases, the partners may require the assistance of a lawyer if the combined assets are high in value or if minor children are involved. If you’re not facing any such issue, you won’t need a lawyer to assist you negotiate the terms and conditions of the contract and through divorce mediation, you’ll be able to take care of all the major aspects of the divorce.
What Does a Marital Settlement Agreement Contain?
Marital settlement agreement contains important categories that will have a profound effect on your life after the divorce is finalized. The divorce mediator will go over one category at a time during the several sessions that you will have with him or her.
The discussion will be about various issues that need to be sorted out before anything is signed. Some of the issues that are discussed include the division of property, division of debts, alimony, visitation rights, child support, and child custody.
These issues during a litigation proceedings can take days to decide, but not during divorce mediation sessions. The reason for this is that both parties enter the mediation session with a cool head and on the basis of creating an understanding between the two instead of adding more fire to the fuel. Here is a list of issues discussed in the meetings:
Minor Children– Who gets the children, visitations days and time, and other issues are discussed.
Alimony– This depends on the laws of the state you filed for divorce in.
Division of Assets– Personal property such as money, stocks, bank accounts, bonds, life insurance policies, retirement accounts, furniture, clothing, cars, and other assets are discussed. Next, on the list to be discussed is real property such as the house or any stores that you own.
Debts– Both of your debts will be discussed in detail, and then will be divided amongst the both of you. However, the debt must be applicable to you and if you were responsible for it, you should take ownership for it to minimize conflict.
After all of these points are covered in detail, the partners will decide what they want to do and draft the marital settlement agreement.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
How do you know when it’s finally over between the two of you? Taking off your wedding ring is an obvious sign that you’re no longer interested in working on the marriage. So, do you bury it in your closet or sell it? Burying it in the closet will not help you move on, but selling it will give you some composure.
Your wedding ring can be included as part of the divorce proceedings. The fate of the wedding ring will be in the hands of the judge, not you. Well, that is somewhat unfair, as you should be the one to decide the fate of your property, from the house down to the wedding ring. Do you know what?
We agree with you! You should have a say, as it’s your future that’s being decided here. Divorce litigation will be unfair to both of you, and not to mention brutal, if the judge decides to award your wedding ring to your partner. If both of you come to a mutual understanding and decide to go with divorce mediation, your views and opinions will be heard.
How Divorce Mediation Works in Your Favor
Divorce mediation requires your partner and you to be upfront with each other regarding all the financial documents such as pending debts, income, retirement, assets, and property, including the wedding ring. During divorce mediation, you can raise questions regarding the validity of the financial documents presented before you that is if you suspect your partner isn’t disclosing something he or she should.
After everything is out in the open and you don’t suspect foul play, you can raise the question about the future of the wedding ring. Since your partner and you understand the sentimental value behind a small piece of jewelry, you will be better suited to make a decision regarding its fate.
Even though selling the wedding ring is the most chosen option, people have opted to keep the wedding ring to turn it into something new or pass it down to their daughter or son, if they have children. Sometimes, the partners don’t mind their ex not sharing the profit of the ring with them, if they decide to sell it. Therefore, divorce mediation tops the list of ways to obtain a divorce on your own terms and conditions, without harboring any bad blood in the end of it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Couples who have decided to formally separate but who are still unsure that they want to divorce can benefit greatly from mediation.
It is important to note that mediation is different from therapy – a divorce mediator will not help the couple sort through emotional issues for the purpose of deciding whether a divorce is the right choice.
But one thing a divorce mediator can do is create practical agreements for a separation. These can include financial agreements and child custody agreements. If the couple chooses later to divorce, the agreements created in mediation can help guide the divorce agreement, reducing the cost and length of the divorce process.
For many separating couples, dealing with all of these issues can be stressful. Without a written agreement, a separation can be filled with ongoing arguments about financial and logistical issues. Bringing in a mediator who can provide professional guidance and support can make the process less stressful, lower in conflict, and healthier for everyone.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The most important thing for most people is their family. All age groups of people right from the age of infancy to the age of retirement cherish their families. Most families are known to have a certain reputation in the society.
This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.
Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.
When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.
The Effect of Litigation
In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished. Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.
In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.
The Effect of Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.
This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.
The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The process of divorce can be bitter more often than not. When the time comes for couples to end a relationship that they had willingly wanted to pursue, emotions can sometimes get the best out of them and lead to a hateful attitude between the spouses. For example, when a couple that has been married for a very long while finally separates, there is likely to be a strong sense of betrayal and disloyalty between them.
It is important for couples who are going through an Orange County divorce, or want to go through with it, to know that divorce isn’t only just between the two spouses. It has a far greater affect on a large number of people from both the families. Your divorce will determine the reactions of your family and friends. A bitter divorce that is full of mudslinging, accusations, and resentment will mean that the separation of the two families will become as bitter as the divorce itself.
There are two ways for a couple to end their marriage and seek divorce. One is through the litigation process in courts and the other through California divorce mediation. In litigation there is always the sense of competitiveness and rivalry which, when coupled with the tensions in the divorce, can become an almost unbearable volcano of emotions. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is considerably different. Orange County mediation is built on the principle of cooperation and peace among the spouses. California divorce mediators are trained to facilitate and promote harmony among the spouses and encourage them to settle their differences through discussions.
Love is an important part of one’s life. According to most poets and intellectuals, it is an expression of the human side of a person. As such, love is an important component in any couple’s life. Yet classifying love to only exist between the two spouses is unfair. Love is a feeling of admiration which during a marriage is bound to exist between the couple and their families. The sense of togetherness and oneness are all signs of mutual admiration between the couple that shows that love exists.
After divorce though, for most couples their bitter end means that the feeling of mutual admiration and love almost seems to evaporate. How can this fate be avoided? Choosing Orange County divorce mediation will help you facilitate and experience an end to a relation that is amicable and not bitter. If the end of relationship is amicable, the mutual admiration between the spouses will continue.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
No matter how old they are when you and your significant other decide to part ways, your children will still be greatly affected by the divorce. It will be up to you and your partner to see to it that they handle the news well. Don’t bombard them with the news when they least expect it, but explain to them why both of you have taken this decision.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
