Why You Should Rise Above The Self-Defeating Thoughts in Divorce

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsGoing through a divorce can take a toll on your health and your mood. You don’t feel as energetic and full of life as you used to. Most of the time, you probably sulk around the house or apartment that you’re now living in wondering why this happened to you.

Now, you’ll have to drag yourself to court each day to look him or her in the eye, something that you wish you didn’t have to. The end of the marriage will not be as amicable as the beginning was, and the burden of knowing that may be slowly eating you up inside. The moment that you may dread the most is having your failed marriage on display for others to see and talk about how you failed to work out the differences.

You fear that they will deem you responsible or side with your partner without knowing the whole truth. That’s when you wish to hide in your room and never come out. Do you know what we think about your self-defeating thoughts? We want you to stop telling yourself that it was your fault or that you didn’t try hard enough.

Instead, tell yourself that you gave it your all, but this was how it was meant to be. However, it’s easier said than done, as going to court and seeing him blame you or go after your kids, if you have any, may devastate and break you. In order to stay strong and rise above the self-defeating thoughts, try to convince your partner to try divorce mediation.

How Will Divorce Mediation Help You Squash Your Negative Thoughts?

Divorce mediation will provide you with a peace of mind. How? Unlike in litigation proceedings where it’s a do or die situation, in divorce mediation, both parties are putting their differences behind them and moving forward with the divorce in a mature manner. All the petty and major issues are addressed with their solutions drawn up. Each party gets to tell their side of the story, why they need this, and whether something can be exchanged.

In doing so, it creates a better understanding between the two parties, helping them come up with a solution to a problem that will benefit both of them. Moreover, it gives you the opportunity to depart on good terms so if you see your ex later on in life, neither of you will feel furious or cheated by each other.

If you have children, divorce mediation should be at top of your list anyways. No parent would like to put his or her children through the turmoil of seeing two angry parents. Through divorce mediation, you will be able to drop your child off to your ex’s house without any hesitation and resentment.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”