As a Californian, you’re probably aware of the fact that our state is quite progressive. As a result, progressive policies are bound to affect every area of a Californian’s life and that includes family law. In this blog, we are dealing with a very specific topic under family law – parentage.
California uses the term “parentage” interchangeably with terms such as “parental relationship” and “paternity”. Typically, paternity is established by the child’s parents or the courts. What that means is if a child is born in a marriage, the mother’s husband is automatically presumed to be the father under the law.
If a couple have had a child together but are not married, the law does not automatically assume that the father is the biological parent of the child, which may require a genetic DNA test to establish as well as a Declaration of Paternity signed by the father to establish parentage and then custody.
Establishing paternity
To establish parentage or paternity, a court order must be obtained or a Declaration of Paternity must be signed to legally indicate who the child’s parents are. For instance, if a child is born out of wedlock, he/she is considered to not have a father unless parentage is legally established. This applies even when the father has evidence to show that he is the biological father.
The establishing of parentage is extremely important as it has a major impact on matters such as child support, visitation rights, and custody during divorce procedures.
If an individual refuses to establish paternity, the court will order them to undergo genetic testing.
Once parentage is established, the concerned man/woman will have to take up the role of a parent. He/she will have to pay child support, 50% of child care costs, and uninsured health care expenses. The same goes for individuals who are legally established as parents.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Co-parenting is usually seen as a responsibility shared by divorced couples, but there is more to co-parenting than a simple responsibility. Co-parenting can also involve someone else other than the parents. When a parent and another person take care of the child, it is also known as co-parenting.
Do what is best for the child
When it comes to child custody or any other laws where children are involved, the California court always rules in favor of the children. If you are at a crossroad where you need to take important decisions regarding your children remember to do what is best for the children. Because it is the children that you will be ultimately worried about.
Don’t talk bad about your ex in front of the children
It’s natural to talk bad about your ex in front of your children especially when you have gone through a bad marriage. But always remember that in doing so it is your children who will get affected. Your ex will remain an important part of the responsibility towards your children. When you criticize your ex, a certain negativity develops in your children which can be dangerous in the long run.
Never tell your ex you are the better parent
At times, you will feel the urge to show your children that you are better than your ex but it’s a good idea to stay away from that notion. Saying that the other parent is bad won’t make you look like the best parent in the world. Moreover, such things don’t work in a court of law in California.
Establish rules and family values
Family rules and values are central to every parenting. Teaching your children the importance of family life can be a great way to keep things organized in life. Moreover, it will also help you and your ex maintain an amicable relationship. As a parent your main aim is to create a healthy environment for your children where they can grow and learn life’s important lessons. So what better place than their own home.
Make plans for in-law and family visits
After getting a divorce, having the support of your in-law and family members is very important even though you may not want to see them. It’s good because the children should not feel alienated after you get your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
One of the most important things that parents have trouble dealing with during a divorce is child custody. Custody plans are made based on the current situation of the parent. It includes things like visitation time and agreements based on the child’s preference.
However, situations can change any time and then it becomes difficult for parents to stick to the original custody plan. At times like these the custody plan is subject to modification provided the court allows it.
Below is a list of the grounds based on which child custody plans can be modified.
Relocation
Relocation can happen for either of the parent at any point of time. Relocation is one of the major grounds on which custody plans can change. But that depends on the state. In California, there are travel restrictions for parents but if the relocation is unavoidable, the court allows the parent to change the custodial plan.
Relocation does not mean that the custody of the child will get transferred from one parent to the other. The court makes sure that the child stays in touch with both parents.
Unhealthy environment
A change in custody pans is often requested when one parent feels that the other is not providing a good environment for the children. However, the parent making the claims must provide proof and substantial evidence that the environment provided by the other parent is indeed bad.
An unhealthy environment means a parent who moves frequently, does not hold a steady job, has too many relationship and is misbehaves with the children.
Child’s preferences
California courts always take the child’s preference into consideration before passing a judgment. In fact, it is the single most important factor that determines a custody battle and custodial plan. When a custodial plan is changed, the court looks at the situation of the child and determines if changing the situation will have any effect or not.
Conclusion
Creating and maintaining a child custody plan is an important job for divorced parents as their children are at the center of it. A child custody plan can be changed anytime depending upon the situation of the parents and the children. A California court always takes the child’s preference into account and decides whether the situation will be beneficial for the child or not. A parent’s relocation and an unhealthy environment are the top reasons for the change in child custody plans.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
It is the wish of every parent to be with his/her child after a divorce. But one of the worst consequences of divorce is that one parent must sacrifice his/her custodial rights for the other. According to state laws, non-custodial parents in California get visiting hours as set by the custody agreements. But parents often remain unsatisfied with such agreements. They want to spend more time with their children.
Consult an attorney
The best way to assess the agreement plan and work accordingly is by consulting an attorney. Non-custodial parents should seek the advice of an experienced lawyer and decide what works best for them. There are many good lawyers available in California and each offer their own set of expertise.
Always remember that every system has loopholes and a good lawyer knows where those exist and how they can be used for his/her client’s benefits.
Avoid visiting the court
One of the best ways to increase visiting hours or even get custody of your child is by finding contempt against your spouse and filing them in a court. However, in all likelihood, the judge dealing with your case might be burdened with work and may get irritated having to deal with a case that was supposed to be finished. It is possible for your plan to backfire if the judge feels you are deliberately trying to increase visiting hours.
It is therefore advised to avoid going to the court as much as possible after a judgement has been passed. Go only if the case is serious and requires a second hearing. Otherwise, simply stick to the advice of a divorce lawyer.
Take advantage of the system
As mentioned before, the system is full of loopholes. There are problems and identifying those problems should be your main aim. A non-custodial parent may request for a change in custodial plans when there is a substantial change in the situation. Substantial change includes emergencies, health, employment or denial of visitation.
If the California court believes the changes are negatively affecting a child, it may change the visiting hours and reestablish new plans for the non-custodial parents.
Conclusion
Changing custodial plans and visiting hours once they have been established can be tough but not impossible. The judicial system has weak spots which can be used in one’s favor. Courts can change custodial plans for non-custodial parents if it finds it in the child’s best interests.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
The “Right of First Refusal” concept in California divorce and custody cases awards one parent the first option to undertake the responsibility of the child in the absence of the other parent. What this means is that after a legal custody battle, one parent can take care of the child during the time that has been allotted for the other parent. The right of first refusal allows parents to take responsibility for child care instead of awarding it to a third party.
The right of first refusal has two advantages. First, the child is not put into the hands of a third party. Second, the costs for paying the third-party care provider is also avoided.
When can the right be exercised
Parents who are unavailable to take care of their children for more than 12 hours must notify the other parent prior to the unavailability. It gives the other parent plenty of time to consider the decision. If the other parent refuses to be present at the mentioned time, it becomes the custodial parent’s duty to look for an alternative care for his/her child.
For the right of first refusal to become actionable, deciding the period of time is very important. However, since there is no perfect timeframe which decides the right, it depends on case to case. It’s a good idea to include a divorce lawyer during such matters.
One of the most important factors for exercising the right of first refusal is geography. For the right to take place, parents need to stay close to each other. If the distance is too long, the right may not be of too much help.
When can it be misused
There have been instances where the right of first refusal has been misused. If you have not enjoyed a good relationship with your spouse, then he/she may not agree to your offer. During tight-knit custody battles, such rights can make a lot of difference in custody preferences.
A divorce affects children badly. It has negative psychological effects which can become physical if ignored. Custody battles are tough and the state of California has laws to make sure the child spends an equal amount of time with each parent. The right of first refusal was created to provide temporary custody to the other parent in the absence of the first one. It helps avoid the involvement of third parties and keeps the matter between the two parents.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Co-parenting your child along with your spouse in an amicable way can not only enhance the emotional stability of your little one but also help him/her experience the benefits of a healthy upbringing. However, it is extremely difficult for the separating parents to put aside their personal differences and conflicts and work in conjunction with each other for the sake of their child. Regardless of the ill feelings that you have for your ex, there are certain ways in which you can work out a cordial relationship with them and make the joint custody work.
#1: Be there for your child
It is possible to build a healthy relationship with your child by spending quality time with him/her. You must chalk out a workable routine with your ex regarding the visitation timings and try to adhere to the schedule regardless of your personal engagements. It is important for you to be emotionally available for your child during the visitation hours and actually take a deep interest in his/her daily life.
#2: Give up on your personal grudges
Although it natural to feel a sense of resentment for your ex, it is important to forgive each other and move ahead sans any grudges whatsoever. One way to deal with this is to see a therapist or talk to your near and dear ones about your feelings and release all those pent up emotions that might be bothering you. Children have a keen sense of observation. They will be able to tell when you are not comfortable and are upset in the presence of the other parent. It is advisable to spare your kid the display of your disagreements and try to keep things as normal as possible.
#3: Create consistent rules for both households
Routine is something that every child craves and requires in his/her everyday life for a better functioning. Although there are chances that the general rules in your house might be quite contrasting to those in your ex’s, it is important to stick to a common structure at least when it comes to your child’s everyday routine. When a child knows that his/her meal time, bedtime, study time and playtime are all standard in both the households, he/she finds comfort and solace in predictability and familiarity of everyday chores.
Most importantly, you must make it a point to remember that you love your kid more than you hate your ex and that it is in his/her best interest that you make him/her the focus of your life regardless of the anguish of a broken marriage.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When it comes to the various aspects surrounding child custody, there are numerous misconceived notions that typically affect a divorcing parent’s rationale. Working out your divorce strategy and custody-related arrangement based on such myths can not only leave you unduly stressed but also end up influencing an unfavorable final verdict. Let us have a look at some of the fallacies that surround most of the custody-related cases.
Myth #1: The mother has an upper hand
One of the most common misconceptions that most people battling custody cases in the court have is that the mother always gets an inordinate preference when designing the custody and visitation schedule. Although, it is more of a concept of “yesteryear” when the mother was automatically awarded the full custody of young children, the times have changed and so have the state laws. The gender bias is no longer prevalent in the present day laws, and the custody and visitation arrangements are crafted entirely upon the best interests of the child.
Myth #2: Teenagers get to decide where they live
Although the court of law provides the children the liberty of voicing their opinions and wishes regarding where they want to live, it is via the judge’s discretion alone that the final arrangements are made. In other words, a child can express his desire to live with one parent, but his/her wish will not typically influence the final verdict unless there is a significant reason to do so. For example, if a child expresses his/her fear of living with an abusive parent or even meeting him/her, the court of law has the discretion to hold the former’s suggestion as a valuable influence of the judgment.
Myth #3: A parent might lose visitation rights if he/she defaults on a support payment
Although there can be several reasons, such as a threat to the emotional and physical well-being of a child, where the court might order the rights of visitation be taken away from a parent, an inability to pay for support is never counted as a substantial reason to do so. A court might make changes in the visitation schedule, order supervised visitation or completely deny the right to a parent if it is in the beast interests of the child. However, only because a parent defaults on a support payment, he/she cannot be denied the right to exercise his/her parental duties.
If you too have any misconception regarding the custody and visitation laws of your state, you can consult a lawyer who can clarify your rights and provide you with authentic legal information.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce can be a highly traumatizing and overwhelming situation for a child. Although a divorce is a stressful time for the partners getting separated, it is actually the children involved who suffer the deepest impact of a broken family. Given their tender age and still developing cognition, it is very perplexing for a child to understand the complexities of a divorce and visualize it for what is really is. Many a time, the children end up bashing themselves as a reason for the family to fall apart. As adults, it is our responsibly to support our children in these testing times and make them understand that a divorce is not the end of the world. Let us have a look at a few guidelines that will help your child adjust to the transition from a happy family to a family with a single parent.
Tell the truth
It is very important for your child to understand the situation in a mature and practical way. However, you must try to spare your child a comprehensive explanation of the intricacies of why your marriage didn’t work out. You can put it in a simple and straightforward manner by saying that ‘Mommy and Daddy are unhappy with the everyday fighting and do not wish to upset everyone anymore’ so that your child actually understands what you are trying to say.
Reassure your child
The most horrifying aspect of a divorce for a child is his insecurity of losing out on the love of their parents. As aforementioned, in most cases, the children end up blaming themselves for the situation. However, we as adults know how untrue this is. It is important to reassure your child that it is not their fault that your marriage didn’t work out and that both their father and mother will love them, regardless of the separation. Your child needs to know that although everything around them is changing drastically, the one thing that will stay constant is your compassion for them.
Ensure their routine
Most children thrive on the routine they have been following ever since they developed a sense of how things work in everyday life. Kids tend to feel more secure when they are aware of what to expect next. You can keep your child calm and help them adapt to the new life by sticking to their daily routine and giving them their regular playtime and nap time even in the new home.
And last but not the least, allowing your child to express their feeling openly in front of you, will help them deal with the pent up emotions that might otherwise be detrimental to their mental well-being.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is difficult time for everyone. The couple go through a series of emotional and psychological changes and adjust to the new life. But apart from the parents, the effect of divorce on children is equally painful. Sometimes it can get out of control as children behave differently in different situations.
Being a teenager can be tough. They are neither kids nor adults and sometimes they act differently because of this. And when the parents get divorced, the effect is unique for each teenager.
Adjustment problems
Research has shown that in the first two years after divorce, teenagers have a hard time coping up with the truth. Adjustment becomes difficult and they show varied behaviors. But as time passes, the situation becomes better. They accept the fact that their parents won’t be together anymore and start adjusting to the new life. Most of the teenagers won’t face any negative effects when they grow up.
Emotional and psychological effects
Children have pure emotions and they show what they feel. But in teenagers, it may not always be the same. Witnessing a divorce can be tough for them. They sometimes show an outburst of emotions or don’t show anything at all. As kids, they’ve looked up to their parents as role models and the behavior of parents affects them. If parents use criticism to deal with a certain problem during a divorce, then automatically teenagers feel that criticism is a tool to handle such situations. Similarly, other emotions like anger and fear become a common part of their daily routine to deal with problems.
Feeling distress during a hostile environment is not exclusive to teenagers. It is what each of us do when put in similar situations. When teens witness, their family falling apart, they too feel distressed. Psychological studies show that blood pressure and heart rate increases in children who witness adults fighting. Over time the psychology changes and can result in negative results.
Effect on academic performance
Teens undergoing psychological and emotional changes have a hard time concentrating on their academic performance. So, naturally, their grades go down. This is very evident in intelligent children who have fared better than their peers in school. The drop in grades is due to emotional problems and not due to emotions. Even teachers find it hard to teach teens undergoing emotional issues. With more and more parents getting divorced each year, the number of such teens are increasing.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A divorce is more than two people separating; it is the disintegration of a family’s structure. Legal separations get messy when there are children involved. Unless it is an extreme case of abuse, it is unfair to separate the child/ children from the parent because the adults have issues. Proper parenting starts with the combined effort of both parents.
Custody and parenting hours are two terms that pop up during divorce settlement. Custody is the responsibility and the rights the parents have among them to support and care for their children. When custody is decided, visitation hours are also specified. Visitation is the how’s and when’s of a parent visiting a child.
The State of California allows the decision of joint or individual custody to be made by the parents. The final decision is however made by the judge.
Custody types
In general, there are two types of custody-
Legal custody which permits the parent to decide the best for the child like welfare, education and healthcare
Physical custody where the choice to live with which parent is made.
Both can be joint custody when the parents come together as a team to make decisions that is in the child’s best interest. Alternatively, one parent can take sole responsibility for the child. The legal responsibilities include residence, religion, child care, school, sports, travel etc.
Parenting schedule orders
Visitation or parenting time is the plan which the parents devise to distribute time between themselves with the child. When a parent is allotted less than half time with the child, visitation hours are allotted. The frequency of visitation is case specific.
There are four variations of visitation:
Scheduled visits– Think of this as a time table like the one most of us had in school. There is a specific pre-determined schedule. The flexibility of the hours depends on the equation and understanding between the parents. This schedule ensures that there is no conflict or confusion in the visitation hours.
Reasonable visits: These are open ended and there is no specific time which is allotted to each parent.
Supervised visits: When the child’s safety and wellbeing is in question, all visits are supervised either by the other parent, or an adult chosen by the parent or a professional agency.
No visits: In extreme cases, if any visit from a parent is stressful or unsafe for the child, the parent does not receive visitation rights.
To learn more about the child custody and divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
As a Californian, you’re probably aware of the fact that our state is quite progressive. As a result, progressive policies are bound to affect every area of a Californian’s life and that includes family law. In this blog, we are dealing with a very specific topic under family law – parentage.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
