3 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorney; California Divorce MediatorsCo-parenting your child along with your spouse in an amicable way can not only enhance the emotional stability of your little one but also help him/her experience the benefits of a healthy upbringing. However, it is extremely difficult for the separating parents to put aside their personal differences and conflicts and work in conjunction with each other for the sake of their child. Regardless of the ill feelings that you have for your ex, there are certain ways in which you can work out a cordial relationship with them and make the joint custody work.

#1: Be there for your child

It is possible to build a healthy relationship with your child by spending quality time with him/her. You must chalk out a workable routine with your ex regarding the visitation timings and try to adhere to the schedule regardless of your personal engagements. It is important for you to be emotionally available for your child during the visitation hours and actually take a deep interest in his/her daily life. 

#2:  Give up on your personal grudges

Although it natural to feel a sense of resentment for your ex, it is important to forgive each other and move ahead sans any grudges whatsoever. One way to deal with this is to see a therapist or talk to your near and dear ones about your feelings and release all those pent up emotions that might be bothering you. Children have a keen sense of observation. They will be able to tell when you are not comfortable and are upset in the presence of the other parent. It is advisable to spare your kid the display of your disagreements and try to keep things as normal as possible. 

#3:  Create consistent rules for both households

Routine is something that every child craves and requires in his/her everyday life for a better functioning. Although there are chances that the general rules in your house might be quite contrasting to those in your ex’s, it is important to stick to a common structure at least when it comes to your child’s everyday routine. When a child knows that his/her meal time, bedtime, study time and playtime are all standard in both the households, he/she finds comfort and solace in predictability and familiarity of everyday chores.

Most importantly, you must make it a point to remember that you love your kid more than you hate your ex and that it is in his/her best interest that you make him/her the focus of your life regardless of the anguish of a broken marriage.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation