Prenuptial agreements are a sensitive topic of discussion. A couple entering into marriage might not warm up to the idea in the beginning. Unfortunately, the growing number of failed marriages and ensuing ugly disputes makes such agreements all the more necessary. Once a couple has decided to sign a prenuptial agreement, the next task is to decide the division of assets. This can turn out to be unpleasant.
Ultimately, discussing a prenuptial agreement can lead to disputes between both the spouses. In such cases, mediation is an excellent way to reduce damages that can happen. Mediation is a form of conflict resolution used in law. A third party assists the spouses-to-be to come to a fair settlement. Such a person is called the mediator.
Mediation is possible
The first thing that a couple who has decided to move ahead with signing the prenuptial agreement should know is that successful mediation of the agreement is possible. Many couples are unaware of this fact. Mediation is an excellent way to resolve conflicts and it helps if the couples research about it by themselves or get the help of a competent attorney.
Mediation starts with people
It is important to sit with an experienced mediator to discuss the potential terms for an agreement first. Both parties need to keep in mind that they are getting married and while the terms in the agreement should be fair, it should also be decided upon mutual agreement and should be fair to both spouses.
Understand the law
Different states have different laws pertaining to prenuptial agreements. The mediator should make sure both parties are aware of existing laws. Divorce and inheritance should not become an issue in case the unthinkable happens. Mediators should provide legal information as to what can happen if one spouse inherits property and what it possibly means for the other spouse. Mediators cannot provide legal advice since they are not attorneys per se.
Understanding either spouse
A mediator should communicate with both spouses to understand any concerns they might have regarding the agreement. It’s important to understand their views on the agreement. Often, it happens that one party may not want to sign the agreement but is afraid to be forthcoming about it. It is important to address the concerns of such an individual and allay their fears. Each term on the prenuptial agreement should be discussed fairly and accurately and should be reviewed against the other terms to make it fair to both parties.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
While sustaining some relationships can be a tough job, you should also remember that the relationship, which you share with your own self is the most precious one. It has been often noticed that there are many who dive into a new relationship immediately after getting their divorce. However, there are many others who feel hesitant to take such a quick plunge as their feelings and emotions are yet to get healed. Plus, the process of healing is not a brief one.
Rather than being in a hurry to find a new person in your life, here are some of the top actions you should follow to help you in redefining your outlook on love and life after the divorce.
Go out and establish a rapport with others in a similar situation
There are many occasions when you will find that someone who also recently divorced is the best person to share your sorrows, joy and concerns with. It may be so since that person can understand your agony and could have even walked in your shoes in the past. Other single mothers can before understand your predicament better.
List down your goals in life post divorce
If you are disciplined enough to prepare a detailed action list for your plans, there is a greater possibility of achieving them. So, after getting separated or divorced from your partner, sit in your new home and make a list of such items. Make them time-bound and review them periodically to assess your progress and success date. Your list can include items such as new activities you should try out, future career vision, financial plans and places you desire to visit among others. Such a list will come extremely handy to direct, prioritize and organize your life after your traumatic experience.
Undergo professional therapy
Major events in life such as an important life changing incident, a great loss or a heartbreak may affect a person’s mental state of women and they need to undergo a healing process. Professional therapy sessions do not come cheap. Try to locate a therapist who will accept your health insurance policy. They should exhibit proper consistency with regard to your appointments under all circumstances. At times, a therapy session can be quite painful. That is because old injuries should be cleaned out prior to complete healing.
Travel all alone
At times, when a divorced person embarks upon a solo trip, he or she may start looking at their life with a fresh perspective, alone. However, if you want to enjoy a solo trip, take assistance from a reputable travel agent before leaving.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
California laws and rules regarding divorces are straightforward and do not require much insight. As is common in other states, California too has residency requirements for couples who want a divorce.
The residency requirements for a California dissolution of marriage are clearly stated on the first page of the Petition form. The most important requirement for petitioners and respondents is that they must have stayed for a minimum of six months in California before they can get divorced. However, since not everyone can meet the criteria there are ways to go around the six-month residency requirement.
At least one spouse must meet the requirement
A divorce can take place if either of the spouse meets the residency requirement of California. The form states that at least one spouse must meet the residency requirement for the divorce to take place.
When both spouses don’t meet the requirement
It becomes a bit complicated when neither of the spouse meets the six-month residency requirement. In California, the laws are clearly stated and avoiding or breaking them can result in severe punishment. One of the best options is to simply wait till the six-month residency requirement is fulfilled. Talk to your spouse and wait it out. It is useful for people who are nearing the requirement period and don’t want to wait too long for the divorce to take place.
The other option is to file for a legal separation than a dissolution of marriage. That way you won’t have to stay with your spouse and once one of you reach the residency requirements, you can get a divorce. After you meet the six-month requirement, you can file for an amended petition and request the court to convert it into a divorce petition. By doing so, you immediately get access to the Family Law Court.
Conclusion
California has strict residency requirements and couples who want a divorce are expected to stay for at least six months before a divorce can take place. But many couples don’t meet the requirement but they still want a divorce to take place. The most common way to do it is to wait for the six-month period to get over. Additionally, couples can opt for legal separation and then get it converted into a divorce. However, it is best to consult an experienced divorce lawyer before going through a divorce proceeding.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
In 2016, the rate of gray divorces rose by three times than gray divorces in 1990. More couples above the age of 65 are heading for courtrooms to get divorced. Experts have cited many reasons for this trend and some of them include the changing laws, evolving status of women in society and less stigma associated with divorces.
Reasons for gray divorces
The rise of gray divorces cannot be limited to any one reason. There are different speculated causes for the rise in gray divorces. The rise does not necessarily indicate that older people are discontent with their marriages. Today’s lifestyle and the change in outlook has made it possible for more and more older people to head for a divorce. Previously, divorcees were often faced with social stigma and divorces were looked upon as embarrassments. But things have changed and getting a divorce has become more common than it used to be.
Probably the most important reason for the rise in gray divorces is the evolving status of women. Women have become an important part of the work force and they are choosing a life that makes them more independent. Women have become less dependent on their male counterparts in terms of finances and it is probably why women make up the majority of people who initiate gray divorces.
Another reason for gray divorces is the change in state laws which has made it easier for couples to get a divorce. Previously, laws concerning divorces especially gray divorces were tough and many couples did not want to go through such a rigorous process. But now individual states have relaxed divorce laws and most couples can now head for an easy divorce.
Impact of divorces at a later stage in life
Divorces can be a difficult process both in terms of emotions and finances. Asset division during a divorce can be a major problem if the number of assets and property is high. Young couples may find it relatively easy because the number of assets amassed will be substantially less than those of older couples. For gray couples, getting a good lawyer should be their first step when getting a divorce.
Conclusion
Gray divorces are on the rise due to the changing social lifestyle for both men and women. Women have now become independent and feel that getting a divorce at a later stage in life can actually be beneficial for them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
There are many marriages that go through the process of trial separations. Contrary to common perception, a trial separation does not necessarily mean that your relationship has ended. Rather, it means that both the parties have made up their minds to take a temporary break in the relationship. Plus, they want to utilize the separation period to take a call on if they want to give another chance to their relationship or not. The period of solitude can help the spouses to assess their problems in an objective manner and find out how life will be while living alone and enjoying a period of freedom.
From the name itself, it is obvious that trial separation typically means that the spouses will be living in separate houses. So, is it possible that both of you will be living in the same house and yet go through a trial separation?
Although there are several couples who undergo emotional separation during this time period, it is not mandatory that they need to separate physically. It is a commonplace to find trial separations occurring while staying in the same home. The same is typically true when there are young kids from the marriage. Following are some of the guidelines to ensure the success of your trial separation while living under the same roof together.
Enter into a truce with your partner and explain each other
If you and your spouse keep arguing all the time, there is no point to opt for a trial separation and staying in the same house. It is better to agree on the time frame of your separation by calling a truce and stop bickering with your spouse. You should also express the reasons for which you desire to separate.
Establish certain ground rules
Will you see or meet other people while you are separated? Can you still text or call each other while you are separated? Have you decided how to look after your finances and shared vehicle? Do you have plans to reunite when the separation period comes to an end? Are you just waiting for the other spouse to save some money and then leave?
You need to consider the kids
If both of you have kids together, it is crucial to have a proper structure in place. It is better to set aside some time and discuss whether you will make decisions unanimously or as separated parents. If you want to take united decisions for the sake of your kids, it makes sense to maintain a proper routine so that your kids feel secure and safe. The routine may constitute of details like who will cook dinner, how should you spend the weekend nights together and so on. In case there is a routine that you have been following for eating dinner or breakfast together, it is better to continue with that.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When a marriage is on the verge of a collapse, both the parties may say things they do not mean out of anger and frustration. If you cool down a bit and take a rationalistic view, you will realize that although both you and your spouse have entered into the marriage with complete consent, you are not giving the efforts of late that you had been giving in the beginning of your relationship. Some of them include:
Both of you have stopped complimenting one another
You are not willing to help each other anymore
You have stopped speaking about your feelings
Both of you have stopped complementing one another
It is possible that if you give some space to one another, both of you will realize the important aspects of your marriage that seem to have fallen apart. Do you feel that is the case between both of you? If that is so, separating legally from your spouse can be the most suitable alternative for you. While making a decision on whether to opt for a trial separation or a permanent one, you may go through a lot of emotional upheavals. Though separating from your spouse may appear to be the best thing to do, chances are that it may not be the most suitable action for you.
How you decide to spend the time of your separation is very crucial when you and your spouse take a call to separate. You should use the time to get some useful perspective and retrospect on the pros and cons of your marriage. While such a phase in your life can be shocking, you can utilize it well by following the tips mentioned below:
Do not spend all your free time alone
It is the perfect time to meet up your family and friends who can help you to cope up in this transitional phase in your life. You should use the time to spend some time with your nephew or visit your parents or grandparents. It is crucial to contact your social circle especially since an important chunk of your social circle could have walked out the door.
You should also make an effort to enjoy your “me” time
Irrespective of how unhealthy or happy your marriage was, there is likelihood that you both you and your partner spent a lot of time in each other’s company. Although, it may not have been quality time, yet it was time nevertheless. So, now that you are separated, utilize your time to enjoy moments of solitude and peace. It is also the right time for you to follow your hobbies or passion. Try reigniting a hobby, which you might not have followed for a while. You can also listen to some lively music to recharge and revitalize you. However, do not spend this time to indulge in self-pity. Sulking and sitting alone think about the past cannot heal your pain.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Sometimes, children can get unconsciously hurt by their parents while the divorce proceedings are going on or after the divorce. There are some adults who may even cause distress knowingly as their anger can drive their attitude and behavior. But here are a few things that can be done to show respect and good will to your former spouse even after your divorce.
Be courteous to your former spouse when your children are present
Do not lose an opportunity to teach your children on how to control or conceal grudges as well as be polite even if they may be feeling bitter from inside. After all, your kids need not know that their other parent is pushing your button. They simply need to appreciate the fact that your behavior is immaculate despite such negative and ugly behavior from the other side.
Accept and reiterate the fact that your ex’s presence is important in the lives of your children
In case your children value your former spouse, it will be sensible that as your child’s other parent you consider their feelings.
Show maturity while responding to your former spouse’s phone calls and emails
You need to understand something while dealing with your ex, especially when it is about not hurting your children’s feelings. It takes less effort to be humble and polite rather than bring furious with your former spouse. It has been often seen that exes ignore to respond to the emails of the other parent and do not want to sort out issues in an amicable manner. While you could have a feeling that your ex-does do not deserve a good behavior from you but the world is definitely a nicer place when both of you attempt to be good to one another. You may be unaware but how you behave will set an example for your little ones who will also learn how to be well-mannered and civil when they become adults
Do not create a situation where your kids may have to take sides or may feel unsure what they should do
There are instances when the relationship between the former spouses is so bad that one could not attend the functions in their child’s school when the other is attending. Sometimes, such situations may even turn into a sort of power struggle between the two parents Avoid creating situations where your children need to take the side of one of you since such scenarios can be quite distressful for your little ones.
Your actions should demonstrate that the respect of your ex is crucial for you
If you want to get respect, you should be willing to show your respect to the other parent. In case the trust factor was lost while the divorce proceedings were going on, it is time you rebuild them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Are you wondering whether cheating can have an impact on your divorce case or not? If that is the case, here is all that you should know about adultery. A marriage can end when one of the spouses discovers that the other is having an adulterous relationship. But what importance does an extra-marital relationship has on the continuity of a marriage or in a divorce? The answer to this question may vary from country to country and from state to state. While in some states the effect may be negligible, in other states such a behavior could have a big impact on the results.
In the past, there had been a bigger correlation between adultery and divorce as compared to today. Especially, when a woman committed adultery, it was viewed as a big offense. The punishment was harsher for her than if it was done by a man. Even today, this is so in some countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran. In these countries, the woman could be punished with a violent death if she had an extra-marital relationship. In the United States of America, adultery is treated as a crime in a few states and yet is hardly ever prosecuted. However, as California is a no-fault state, adultery has little impact on the outcome of a divorce case.
Impact of adultery on asset distribution
Today, adultery does not have that much of an impact on asset distribution in the event of a divorce. However, the exception can be cases where a spouse has used his or her marital assets to provide support to that extra-marital relationship. For instance, when a husband takes a loan against a marital property to support his girlfriend, it can be considered while asset distribution takes place.
Effect of adultery to determine custody
Generally, adultery does not affect decisions related to determining the custody of the children in California. The exception could be when the third person that the wayward spouse is cheating with poses a threat to the children by having a criminal background, uses drugs or abuses alcohol, etc.
However, if adultery can be proven, it can have an impact on spousal support by reducing or terminating the amount of support when an ex-spouse or a spouse is living with some other person, which is known as cohabitation.
But the most problematic and serious problem that adultery is like to cause is while negotiating a settlement. According to statistics, more than a whopping 90 percent spouses resolve their divorce settlement through negotiations. An unfaithful spouse is most likely to feel sheepish or guilty after the confession or the discovery. On the other hand, the spouse cheated on usually feels furious and cheated. These emotional elements of both the parties may come in the way of a peaceful settlement and can significantly have an impact on the divorce terms.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce happens due to a number of reasons, like lack of intimacy, infidelity and abuse. It generally occurs in multiple stages, what relationship experts term “divorce cascade”. A marriage about to end is peppered with rising conflict. Communication between the couple reaches disastrous levels before the marriage reaches a flaming end.
Most divorces result in couples living a better life afterward. This could result in considerable adjustments. It is quite common for divorced individuals to experience psychological pressure like that they have failed in life, sadness and loneliness.
Emotional Issues
Divorce can result in distressing emotional impact. These could affect both the sexes. Recovering from a divorce involves a period of grieving. This is as the spouses know that an important relationship is lost. The relationship was once an is levels before the ma mportant part of their lives. A few people pass through multiple stages of grief, like depression, denial, bargaining and anger. Finally there is an acceptance. Do note that different people react to their loss in different ways. These stages thus do not occur in this particular order for every person.
A marriage end is specifically painful for people who did not want it or even expecting it. It becomes much more problematic when such a sense of loss is blended with tense and even hostile interactions between the divorced spouses. There could be a number of psychological effects like identity loss, depression and lowered self-esteem. A few people who suffer divorce also experience embarrassment and rejection. These may lead to withdrawal from their previous social groups. They generally finds it hard to discuss their fears and feelings, even among their best friends and people who care about them.
In a few cases, individuals who go for divorce face alienation from relatives and friends who disapprove of such a step. They thus experience social support loss in the form of loss of contact from relatives of the ex-spouse. They may also get less support from their own relatives. The result? A much smaller social network which leads to a rise in their sense of isolation.
Depression Post Divorce
Stress related to divorce may lead to depression. The latter is marked by an intense sadness, withdrawal from society, and severe feelings of worthlessness and futility. A number of depressive orders can happen. The list includes dysthymic disorder and heavy depression. A distinct sense of prolonged fatigue and loss of interest in enjoyment of activities are common.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
While you are negotiating your divorce settlement, it is imperative for you to make certain rational decisions on the basis of sheer logic rather than your emotions. In case the couples cannot be flexible or logical, it may take several years for the courts to grant them a divorce decree. The delay happens mainly due to the reason that these couples’ negative emotions dictate their behaviors. Hence, the divorce related expenses also go up. It is important to have a check on your behaviors so that you can take decisions sensibly during this crucial juncture of your life. Many times, divorce leads to a huge dent in the savings as the individuals concerned behaved in a way that prolonged the case for many years. An important point to note in this context is because your former spouse was non-aggressive during your marriage does not necessarily mean that they will remain like that after the divorce has been filed in the court. Check out some of these behaviors that may increase the expenses related to your divorce.
Trying to numb your agony by spending
When spending excessive money on your shopping sprees, especially during your divorce, the repercussions are quite obvious. The main point here is that your assets are getting depleted that is quite important for you to survive after your divorce comes through. Another negative impact could be that when you go overboard while spending, the court may instruct you to repay the amount you spent to your former spouse as a part of the settlement for the final divorce. To make it even simpler for you to understand, when you spend money, which is regarded as a marital asset, the court could hold you accountable for it.
Unable to come to terms with the present situation
There is hardly anyone who wants to go through an unwanted divorce. Just because you do not desire to go through a divorce does not mean that you have to become an emotionally paralyzed person and not being able to take legal care for yourself. When you are stuck with negative feelings and refuse to come to terms with the actual reality, there could be inaction on your part. This may in turn make your ex take advantage of the situation and control the divorce process, costing you a lot financially.
Overlooking what could be at stake
Many people get baffled about what divorce is all about. A common sight in divorce court is furious people fighting with one another and ignoring the implications on their finances. Since divorce can be a costly affair, it makes sense not to get driven by your emotions and act according to the best of your financial interests.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Prenuptial agreements are a sensitive topic of discussion. A couple entering into marriage might not warm up to the idea in the beginning. Unfortunately, the growing number of failed marriages and ensuing ugly disputes makes such agreements all the more necessary. Once a couple has decided to sign a prenuptial agreement, the next task is to decide the division of assets. This can turn out to be unpleasant.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
