Some parties come to divorce mediation in Orange County and elsewhere because of the cost advantages of this process over litigation. This is a valid reason since divorce mediation is considerably more cost-efficient when compared to litigation as there is no need for two separate attorneys and court fees. As such, the financial considerations are understandably the reasons why people come to divorce mediation. There are, however, other costs as well that justifies considering divorce mediation over litigation.
Cost of Emotions
This isn’t a monetary expense, yet it is a heavy cost that most couples have to pay in the litigation process. Mediation, on the other hand, is your chance to significantly minimize the emotional costs. Why? Good Orange County divorce mediators are adept at handling the emotional side of divorces and will be good comforters to you. Unlike the aggressive court proceedings, here the mediator will tend to keep a tab on emotions and make sure the mediation is carried out in a peaceful and calm manner. When you are emotionally charged, especially if you have kids,, breaking down emotionally isn’t an option. A good divorce mediator will act as a calming influence in your life and help you get through the rough patch unscathed.
Lack of Attendance on Job/Business
This is a monetary expense just like the financial costs. In court cases and litigation processes, each spouse will have to make court appearances. These court appearances can range from a few to many, as all hearings are usually necessary to attend. The hearing is scheduled after seeing the availability of the judge and both the spouses’ attorneys. This means that the spouses will have to attend the hearings on the date set irrespective of their schedule. In most cases their job and their business will be neglected on such days, and this can be really costly. In contrast, in divorce mediation, the dates for the process are set according to the availability of both the spouses and are flexible to change.
Out-of-the-Blue Financial Hardships
Starting a divorce through an attorney means that each spouse has likely paid an initial retainer fee. The retainer fee is the advance of all the meetings and calls that the attorney will have and charge at an hourly rate. However, it is common in court cases for clients and attorneys to contact one another multiple times. This means a spouse is likely to have very high legal fees. A spouse may also be needed to pay extra amounts for accountants and other experts that are called in to help resolve the case.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining some of the hard facts and harsh realities about the current divorce process in the United States.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining how divorce mediation can save the financial future of your children and your family.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Most fights and disagreements in a relationship usually start by verbal tirades against one another. Effective communication is vital for the health and success of a relationship. Communication, however, can’t be limited to either verbal or non verbal. The cause for most fights is a lack of effective communication.
Imagine someone is saying something pleasant to you and you start to give them an angry stare. The other person is likely to feel perplexed and confused. This shows how verbal communication needs to be coupled with non verbal communication to fulfill the goal of communication.
Here are a few tips on effective communication with your spouse so that you avoid fights and disagreements in your relationship that can ultimately lead to a divorce.
1. Be Crystal Clear
When you are communicating with your spouse, you need to speak your mind clearly. If you talk fast, you need to go a little slow and if you are hard to comprehend, you need to repeat it multiple times so that there are no misconceptions that are left after your message. While most people find it annoying to repeat themselves again and again, it is unavoidable at times. You have to realize that the effort you are putting into effective communication is never in vain.
2. Own Your Thoughts
Very few people have the ability to judge the feelings that sometimes creep into you. To be good at communication, you need to have a clear head and for that you need to know what you are feeling and take clear stances on what you like or dislike. If you think during a discussion that something is not right, you should not compromise and agree to it, instead you should say what is in your heart. If you do not speak up, your emotions will get bottled up and will increase your chances of a meltdown.
3. Be Expressive
Bottling up your feelings will always be harmful to you one way or another. The key to effective communication is saying whatever you feel like saying. If you have underlying feelings of discontent, they are likely to show on the non-verbal communication front. Even if the feelings are of love and appreciation, make sure they are expressed to make your partner feel valued.
4. Be All Ears
Any relationship is a two-wheel drive and for the car to function properly both the wheels need to be on equal footing. Being an effective communicator is going to take you far, but to go the distance, your communication skills and your ability to be a good listener should be polished. Relationships are about understanding one another and the best way to do that is to listen to the other person.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Feelings of guilt, shame, disappointment, and fear of the unknown are common in people who are going through or have gone through a divorce. When a relationship starts to fall apart, the dreams of the couples are shattered causing most couples to feel like a failure while others may make themselves immune of whatever is happening around them by acting as uninformed. While such feelings are bound to exist, and are normal to experience, the news of your Orange County divorce needs to be told to a few people. Here are a few of the people who you should tell about your divorce.
Family
When we say family, we mean your immediate family. These consist of your children, your parents, and you siblings. The most important part is telling your children because this decision will have an ever lasting impact on their lives. Making sure you tell them in a way that they understand is vital. While they are being told about this decision, there has to reiterations to them about your love and care for them. Your parents and siblings will act as your buffer. They are likely to help you get through this difficult period and assure you of their acceptance of you and your decision.
Friends
Your friends mean your closest friends. These people have been closest to you for a number of years and just like all the other secrets you can share with them, they need to know about your divorce. Your friends are your main support group. They will help you avoid that feeling of being alone and hounded.
Financial Advisor
Your financial advisor should know that you are going through a divorce irrespective if it’s a divorce mediation or litigation. These are the people who’ll help draw up your financial list and tell you what you’ll need in terms of finances in the post divorce time. It is important that you and your financial advisor are honest about your assets because hiding assets and lying about them will only draw the divorce longer.
Business Partner
If you own any kind of a business in partnership, you need to inform your business partner(s) regarding your divorce. This is important because your divorce can have an impact on the division of shares and profits and other financial matters, and the other stakeholders in the business should know about it.
Estate Planning Attorney
Your estate and property are all part of your list of assets, and during a divorce these are likely to have an impact. Telling this to your estate planner is vital because they’ll help you in the planning for the future and figuring out the best picks in your divorce mediation agreement.
Irrespective of the method of divorce you choose, the myth that divorce should be secretive and kept between the lawyers and the concerned parties only isn’t true. To help you through a divorce both emotionally and financially, you need people and they need to be informed about your decision. While the method does not matter in terms of informing others, it matters if you want a smooth divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce Mediation is one of the most underrated methods of dispute resolution. California Divorce mediation services are underused by couples who are unaware of the potential of divorce mediation in Orange County. Most couples don’t know the benefits of divorce mediation, and end up going through messy divorces that hurt them financially as well as emotionally and psychologically. Why is it a better way? The answer to this question is plain and simple. All issues that a judge can solve can be solved by using divorce mediation services. Divorce mediation means not going to court and therefore protecting the privacy of the couples. Here is a list of issues that divorce mediation can solve:
Division of Property
Property in divorce proceeding means real estate, vehicles, savings accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, furniture, etc. A judge in this situation would probably order that the assets be divided into half, unless some kind of a prenuptial agreement is involved. Divorce mediation instead allows the couple to make trades on properties, meaning that they can decide which assets who should keep and what should be given to the other. While it sounds like a long and complicated process, it is made easy by experienced mediators.
Child Support
The State of California has set guidelines on child support. The guidelines outline how much of child support should be paid for each minor. Mediators help couples talk on a number of issues such as who will bear what parts of expenses, who will bear the education costs and the medical expenses, and help them decide on the child support number they can meet.
Division of Debts
Every household in one way or the other is somehow indebted to some bank or lender. This means that in every California divorce, debt discussion has to be done. Debts are usually ranging from loans, credit cards, and other debts that the couple has borrowed over time. There are several reasons for debts such as renovation and over expenditure, etc. Divorce mediators can help devise a plan for debt repayment which is agreeable to both parties.
Custody of the Child
Child custody involves two aspects: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody means who gets to make the decisions concerning the health, education, and welfare of the children and their upbringing. Physical custody basically means where the child is likely to spend his time in weekends and holidays. Divorce mediators help you create a parenting plan that suits you. A parenting plan is a plan that contains all the details about the child’s time distribution in between the parents in weekends and holidays.
Spousal Support
Spousal Support is the title given to the money that is given by one spouse to the other to help her or him to maintain their lifestyle. These are decided on the standard of living that the couples enjoyed during their marriage. We identify the necessary lifestyle needs of the spouse and then help both the parties agree to a sum that they both feel is fair.
Divorce Mediation is one process that is detailed and all-encompassing, which means it allows the couples to end their marriage with a customized agreement that they both think is fair and just, and cost-effective.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The holiday season is almost here. And for parents who are divorcing or who are newly divorced, the prospect can be terrifying.
Many parents in this position wonder how they can possibly spend part of all of a holiday away from their children. For most, it is a painful idea.
But for the kids, the holidays don’t have to be painful and sad. With some planning and some dedication on the parts of both parents, the holidays can still be an opportunity for kids to create happy and fun memories while surrounded by family and love.
Use a mediator to collaborate on a child-focused holiday plan
Whether you are just beginning the divorce process, or have been divorced for many years, it is never too late to work with a mediator on a better holiday plan.
A child-focused holiday plan maximizes the child’s meaningful time with family and sets the stage for new traditions. In addition, child-focused holiday planning puts special focus on creating calm and healthy transitions.
Get ready to provide a positive outlook
Your children may be especially anxious about the first holiday after the divorce, and they will take their emotional cues from you. Listen with empathy, let them know that their feelings are valid, and reassure them that the holidays will still be special.
Involving children with planning new traditions or activities may help them regain a sense of control and excitement about the holidays.
Make a plan for yourself
Make a plan for the transitions and time away from your children. You may want to ask a friend or family member for help. Individual moments can be easier or harder than you expect – the best policy is to be prepared. Planning in advance will help ease your anxiety and day-of emotions, creating a better experience for your kids.
Once the holidays are over, consider communicating with your co-parent about how it went. If both of you are united in the goal to create a happy holiday for your child, then you may be able to email or talk about how the holiday went for your child and what can be done next time to make it better.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
What is all the hype surrounding divorce mediation and why should you consider it? The reason divorce mediation is encouraged because it doesn’t create animosity between the divorcing partners. What happens during divorce mediation? Just refer to the five stages mentioned here and you will get an idea of what happens during divorce mediation:
First Stage: Introductory
The mediator will familiarize you with the process and so you should come with a list of questions in mind to ask. Discuss all the issues that you want resolved. If an issue needs more attention than others, convey that to the mediator. Moreover, the mediator will suggest different ways to optimize effective communication.
Second Stage: Information-Gathering
Your first session may have brought up many different issues such as finances, children, debts, and loans, among others. If you haven’t brought the documents with you in the first meeting (it’s better to bring them in the first stage), the mediator will tell you to bring them when you visit again. During the second stage, finances are discussed, documents reviewed, and suggestions thrown around. Since division of assets is a critical issue, two or more meetings could be required to come to an agreement.
Third Stage: Framing The Issues
The divorce mediator will ask the partners to write down reasons of what they want to see in the agreement. Their outline will consist of reasons such as concerns, goals, values, priorities, needs, and interests. After both parties have created the outline, they will discuss it between each other to see if they can come to a resolution. In order for this to be successful, don’t write off the suggestions that your partner gives, but listen to them even if what they are saying doesn’t sit well with you. Most importantly, keep in mind that in order for your partner to consider your interests, compromising on some is necessary. When you cooperate, they may as well.
Fourth Stage: Negotiating The Issues
With the assistance of the mediator, partners will come up with a few options to solve the issue. They will evaluate each option to determine which one works better. At this stage, the partners will negotiate with each other until they can see eye to eye on a resolution. Towards the end of this stage, the options are decided.
Fifth Stage: Written Agreement
The mediator will send a draft of the settlement agreement to both spouses to view. If both spouses agree, the mediator will write up the final version of the settlement agreement, which the mediator can submit to the court for filing. As a precaution, it’s advised to have a lawyer review the agreement before submitting it to the court. Sometimes, your mediator is a lawyer, but it is important to note that they are not representing either party as a legal advocate in that situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Did you just get a divorce? If your divorce was finalized a few months back, the headache of filing for taxes may have already fallen upon you. New divorcees will get to experience all of it for the first time, i.e. filing tax returns and dealing with new tax issues. Here are five things to know to reduce the anxiety that comes with filing taxes:
1. Figure Out Your Filing Status
Determine the date the judge finalized the divorce. If your divorce was finalized by midnight on December 31st, you will generally have to file your tax returns separately. If your divorce judgment was entered after January 1st, you have the option of filing “married filing jointly” (if your spouse is agreeable and it makes sense to do so) or “married filing separately.” If you share custody of your children, you will generally get to claim head of the household status.
2. Child Support Payments vs. Spousal Support Payments
It is very important to know that people who pay alimony are entitled to write those payments off as a tax deduction, and those receiving spousal support must claim it as “income” on their tax returns. Therefore, both parties should plan their tax obligations accordingly. On the other hand, those paying child support cannot claim such payments on their taxes as a deduction, and those receiving child support do not need to report such payments on their tax returns.
3. Determine Who Gets the Child Exemptions
During divorce proceedings, you and your partner can decide on who gets qualified to claim the child/children as tax exemptions. If you have joint custody (i.e. 50% each), then generally you should agree to alternate the right to claim the tax exemption each year. Otherwise, the party who has over 50% custody gets to claim the child as a tax exemption pursuant to the IRS Code.
4. Change Your Withholding on the W-4 Form
You can claim extra tax exemption on your W-4 form through your employer to offset the tax deduction for spousal support payments you are making, leaving you with more net income each month. On the other hand, people who receive alimony payments can ask their employer to withhold additional taxes from their paycheck to cover their new tax liability.
5. Review the Legal Fees
If you filed for divorce using the litigation method, you might have significant legal fees incurred. Unfortunately, most legal fees are not tax-deductible, but fees that you paid for advice regarding taxes are.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation is a popular method used by divorcing partners to settle their differences amicably. The proceedings involve a mediator who sits down with the two parties to discuss and solve issues. A mediator isn’t supposed to support one party over the other. The mediator is neutral and impartial.
What role does a mediator play then? They are more like facilitators helping you and your partner come up with a settlement agreement. To help you understand what mediation is exactly, read on.
Can Anyone Use Mediation?
Mostly everyone can use mediation to dissolve his or her marriage, except for those who are victims of physical or emotional abuse. If you aren’t a victim of extreme circumstances, you should contact a mediator if you want to avoid a messy divorce. If you are still unsure about mediation, you should know that this method has many benefits.
What are the Benefits of Mediation?
Divorce mediation can provide you and your partner with numerous benefits such as these:
It’s cheaper than litigation
Both parties, together, decide what goes into the settlement agreement
Mediation is confidential, no record is kept of the sessions
It’s a collaboration between both parties so both parties leave satisfied
Both parties can still visit a lawyer for additional advice
Instead of the court controlling the process, both of you control it
Mediation improves communication between the two of you, which helps you avoid conflicts in the future
In addition, it’s important that they compromise and not stay rigid when deciding on a solution to resolve an issue. Also, remember that mediation will only be successful if both partners are equally willing to put their differences aside and discuss issues.
Tips to Make Your Mediation Sessions a Success
If your partner has suggested that you both should try mediation, don’t brush the suggestion off. Instead, research on what it is or talk to a mediator to find out more. Most sites will tell you that divorce mediation is a powerful process that actually works and they are right.
However, the process won’t work if you visit the mediator with a negative mindset to attack every suggestion your partner gives you. Use this time to discuss everything that’s on your mind such as property disputes, child support and child custody, among others. Hence, if you are seriously considering this option, follow these tips to make your sessions a success:
Involve yourself in the discussion
Don’t hold back, voice your concerns
Compromise on certain issues
Remember that the primary goal is to resolve issues, not create more
Keep your tone pleasant
Don’t lash out at your partner
Be patient and listen
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Some parties come to divorce mediation in Orange County and elsewhere because of the cost advantages of this process over litigation. This is a valid reason since divorce mediation is considerably more cost-efficient when compared to litigation as there is no need for two separate attorneys and court fees. As such, the financial considerations are understandably the reasons why people come to divorce mediation. There are, however, other costs as well that justifies considering divorce mediation over litigation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
