How To Manage Your Expectations In Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsCouples that are going through divorce are most commonly worried about their finances and how their financial position isn’t ideal anymore. Irrespective of whatever way you decide to divide the finances, there will always be the nagging feeling that what amount was once used to run one household is now being used to support two. It is a difficult pill to swallow, but it’s important to ensure the well being of you and your partner. Some people come to mediation expecting they will not have to change the amount they spend on themselves or their lifestyles. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.

Having said that, if you want financial security to be achieved to the best of your potential, divorce mediation is just the thing for you. For starters, instead of both of you fighting a long litigation battle worth thousands of dollars, it’s cheaper and more effective to come to divorce mediation. Once you decide to mediate your divorce, you should come with reasonable expectations, here are a few tips on how to manage your expectations during divorce mediation:

Understand What Separate Property Is

Separate property is the property that is wholly and solely yours unless some exceptions specific to your case apply. The property that you come into the marriage with or the property that you have inherited during the marriage is only going to be regarded as your separate property. Once you are clear about that and you come into divorce mediation, you should remember that a separate property does not get divided 50/50 between the couples.

Why does it help in curtailing expectations? When you come into divorce mediation, knowing the minor details will help you understand how your property will be treated and you’ll thus have expectations knowing what’s fair and reasonable for you to get.

Review Your Finances

Something that is common among many couples today is that one of the spouses hasn’t looked at the other’s finances for years and is unaware of their current financial position. This spouse has no idea of the income and how the finances of the house are being managed. Sometimes, this lack of knowledge results in them assuming there is a lot more money to be divided than there really is.

How to curtail these misconceptions? When you start your mediation process, your Orange County divorce mediator will tell both of you about each others’ financial position so that during the division of finances there are no lofty expectations leading to disappointment at the end of it.

Learning about your financial position and the details regarding your properties is time spent wisely because these ensure that your expectations are managed. Knowing these facts will help you align your expectations in respect to the black and white numbers that will now be in your knowledge.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Better Way For A 21st Century Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsWhen most people hear the word “divorce,” they think of distrust, couples stressing out, losing control in a court room, leaving a lasting impression on the children who now have to be raised in a broken family. These are all mere thoughts established on false perceptions and stereotypes. In reality, this isn’t the only way divorces happen.

It is a growing belief in divorcing couples that it’s merely an end of a relationship and not the end of the world, and there are different divorce methods that give them the desired result without the publicity of a court. Particularly in California, divorce mediation is one of them.  Divorce mediation is an alternative to the litigation process. This method is also known as the 21st Century method of divorce. There are several advantages to this process over litigation:

Creative Solutions

In a world of technology that is made to be customizable, it’s almost fitting that divorce mediation solutions are innovative and creative to tackle your specific situation. In mediation, there is no judge but a mediator who isn’t bound by the limits of law and allows the couples to think outside the box for solutions they are comfortable with.

Flexibility

Divorce mediation in Orange County and all over the U.S. allows couples to be able to decide the times of their mediation through mutual understandings, keeping in mind their professional and personal commitments. Mediation puts the ball in the court of the spouses to decide the pace of the proceedings and the time period in which to achieve a solution.

Cost-Effective

When you go to a court for litigation, there are several fees from case registration to lawyer fees to consultancy fees incurred individually. In divorce mediation though, the costs of lawyers etc. are eliminated, there are only a few costs that are shared among the couple which means the process of mediation costs almost a fraction of litigation.

Win-Win Mentality

This is one of the biggest advantages of divorce mediation. In litigation cases, there are two sides and only one is bound to win, promoting negativity and resentment. California divorce mediators make mediation a form of solving issues through cooperation which means the couples start to focus on beneficial common grounds and compromises for each other promoting mutually beneficial mentality of win-win for both parties.

Your Fate In Your Hands

You are your best judge. Divorce mediation is a process that gives you the power over your decisions. Mediators allow couples and spouses to identify important issues and lead them to a constructive solution that they want. As opposed to a judge that decides cases in litigation, you decide what’s best for you, all the while the mediator assisting you every step of the way.

The more you get to know about, the more divorce mediation seems like the 21st Century alternative to divorces through litigation. If you want to avoid a messy divorce, consider California Divorce Mediators for a simpler transition in life.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Benefits of Divorce Mediation for Business Owners

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation orange county; California Divorce MediatorsIt is said that entrepreneurs have a high divorce rate.  If this is true, it is because building a business can require years of dedication, effort and singular focus.

And this is one reason that anyone who owns a business should consider divorce mediation before litigated divorce.

As Crain’s Chicago Business noted in a recent article, divorce has taken down many businesses, and it is often because lawyers have more financial incentive to draw the process out and create more conflict than to swiftly and levelheadedly resolve all of the issues.

In the article, Steve Thorne, an accountant with Deloitte Tax, exhorts divorcing couples to work together on the financial and practical issues.  For example, business valuations can be expensive, so Thorne advises that couples agree on a single valuation company and divide the cost rather than paying for separate valuations (which can cost tens of thousands of dollars).

Many business owners think that mediation simply isn’t an option, because of the complexity of the financial and legal issues at hand.  And it is true that for some issues, a lawyer will be necessary to draw up a particular legal agreement as it relates to the business.

But a trained divorce mediator, working in conjunction with accountants and other professionals, can create agreements between the divorcing spouses on all of the issues, so that the use of a lawyer can be targeted, limited, and cost effective.

Divorcing spouses who intend to continue running the business together can benefit greatly from mediation.  A successful, low-drama mediation can be a cornerstone for the kind of collaboration that will be needed to work together on the business.

But perhaps the most important benefit of divorce mediation, when it comes to the health of the business itself, is that it resolves the divorce with less money and time spent.  As Thorne indicates, litigated divorces can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and take years to complete.  That is a lot of time and money to take away from a business intended to support you and your loved ones for years to come.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Prenuptial Agreements Can Assist in Property Division in a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsOne of the most difficult issues to deal with in any divorce proceeding is the division of martial property. Typically the biggest question is what is to happen with the house, a question that may trigger sparring matches between the divorcing couple.

Further complicating a sale may be the presence of a third party in the marriage break-up, which destroys what trust the divorcing couple may have had. The spouse who was cheated on may wish to make things difficult for the cheater. They may make it harder to show the property or withhold disclosure on any issues the house may have – such as structural or water issues. Even if a spouse has children and they want to retain the home, they may not be able to afford to maintain it.

Another point of contention may be overpricing the home in order to attain financial security and thus delaying a potential sale until the price of the property has been adjusted downwards.

In California, if the house is owned jointly, both signatures are required to sell the home. However, only one spouse needs to sign a listing agreement to put the house on the market. In a number of cases, the individual wanting a divorce wishes to get the property listed for sale quickly, to move on with their life or even buy another, smaller home. The person who did not want the divorce may be conflicted about selling, wishing to keep the home for the sake of any children involved. With two different points-of-view in play, things can get difficult and make it harder to get any offer accepted.

Couples with an existing prenuptial are likely to have an easier time with property division and the sale of the home, as most include instructions on how property is to be allocated, should the marriage dissolve. Nonetheless, one partner or the other may not wish to honor such an agreement because they are angry. In such cases, even a valid prenuptial may end up being challenged. However, if it is a solid document, the issue may be resolved according to the fact of the case.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

5 Questions to Ask before Beginning Divorce Mediation Proceedings

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhen two people are at odds with each other, minor problems start to seem huge. When discussions and solutions no longer extinguish the fire, people turn to divorce. There are many different approaches people can take in terms of divorce, with divorce mediation being the most simple, fast, and effective one. If you and your partner have agreed on separating via divorce mediation, here are the questions that you may want to address before proceeding:

1.     What Can You Expect during Divorce Mediation?

A divorce mediation procedure consists of the married couple sitting down in a secluded room with their chosen divorce mediator. The divorce mediator, with the consent and involvement of the divorcing partners, works to resolution of all pending issues with the end goal of creating a comprehensive settlement agreement.  Divorce mediation is based on mutual agreement on unresolved issues. Therefore, partners need to remain civil when arriving at solutions.

2.     Will You Also Need An Attorney?

Many people think that if they are seeking the aid of a divorce mediator, they will not require the services of a divorce attorney. Either during or after a divorce mediator session, you have the right to hire a divorce attorney to help you go over the agreement and spot any irregularities in it, but that is entirely up to you. The attorney may also provide you with valid points to cover in the settlement agreement.  If the divorce mediator that you are using is also a divorce attorney, which will help assure that the agreement is drafted correctly.

3.     What is the Skill Level of the Divorce Mediator?

The law in most states does not require divorce mediators to hold a law degree. Therefore, when choosing a divorce mediator, be sure to find someone whose is experienced in dealing with two partners who want a calmer and more peaceful process to end their marriage. Another thing to consider when looking for a divorce mediator is to find one who is also a divorce/family law attorney, as they have knowledge of the law and real-life experience with divorce cases that he or she can draw from in working with you to come up with workable solutions.

4.     What Issues Are Addressed during Divorce Mediation?

Just like in any other divorce proceedings, a number of issues can be resolved. Some issues that are addressed during the meetings include child support, child custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Unlike in court where these issues would have created tension between the two parties, divorce mediation offers an alternate solution to calling it quits.

5.     Do You Need to Have Extensive Knowledge about Finances?

Individuals worry that their lack of knowledge in finances may lead to the other partner getting more in the settlement agreement.  Some individuals can fret over the financial assets that the other person may have hidden. Your divorce mediator can assist you in addressing those issues for both of you and explaining the financial ramifications.  If you want further information to determine for yourself as to whether the financial terms of your marital settlement agreement are in your best interests, you can consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.  The CDFA will update you on your current financial situation and inform you what you may need to keep track of in the future. With the knowledge they can provide you with, you can proceed with divorce mediation with more confidence that you are working out your divorce case in a way that makes the most financial sense for you.

If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.  As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Key Differences between Divorce Mediation, Collaborative Divorce, and Litigation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsThe saying, “Till death do us part,” never really lives up to what it dictates with more partners opting for divorce courts instead of living happily ever after.  For those seeking to divorce when divorce is the only remaining option, such parties can choose to get divorced by seeking a divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation. These divorce methods are different from each other in these ways:

What is Divorce Mediation?

The pair who is splitting up hires a divorce mediator to help them establish a settlement agreement. The mediator doesn’t favor one party over the other, but works neutrally with both parties.

Advantages

  • Helps to maintain an cordial relationship with your partner even after the divorce
  • Children will not be caught in middle of a child custody battle in the instance you have kids
  • Speeds up the divorce proceedings
  • Less expensive
  • The partners make the decision and not the court
  • Lets two people handle the divorce in private

Disadvantages

  • If two people are not able to reach an agreement, some additional money and time will have been spent in the process
  • An inexperienced divorce mediator may be biased towards one partner
  • If the agreement is not drafted correctly or if legal problems arise, it can be challenged in court (which can be a problem if the mediator is not also an experienced divorce attorney)
  • The agreement may not be fair if one partner overpowers the other partner

What is Collaborative Divorce?

In order to avoid going to court, the separating partners can decide to go the route of collaborative divorce, which is a separate system where each party agrees to that system.  By doing so, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney trained in collaborative divorce.  In addition, there is a financial professional involved that handles all of the financial disclosure work, and generally one or both parties also have a “divorce coach” involved, such as a therapist.  In other words, there can be at least 4 professionals involved in the collaborative divorce process.

Advantages

  • Provides the partners with solutions to reach an amicable settlement agreement
  • The process is meant to resolve cases peacefully out of court
  • The couple divorcing are in-charge of deciding what to do with their lawyers advising them along the way
  • Lets partners address a variety of issues unlike in court

Disadvantages

  • Unlike divorce mediation where there is generally just the divorce mediator involved, the collaborative divorce process involves multiple professionals, all of which must be paid for their services.  As a result, the collaborative divorce process is not necessarily a cost-effective way to resolve divorce cases compared to divorce mediation
  • If an agreement is not reached, the collaborative divorce attorneys will have to resign from the case and the partners will have to appoint new attorneys, as neither party can hire the same attorney

What is Litigated Divorce?

Litigated divorce is the most common divorce, as the two parties hire separate attorneys and fight in court on the issues of divorce such as child custody and the distribution of assets.

Advantages

  • Most common divorce procedure
  • Best for divorcing parties who cannot work together in resolving their disputes
  • The most appropriate procedure where domestic violence or abuse is involved

Disadvantages

  • It’s expensive and produces financial distress for the average divorcing family
  • If the partners have children, child custody battle could turn ugly
  • Often puts children in the middle of the divorce disputes and causes the most emotional damage to children
  • Tends to take the most time to resolve
  • Produces animosity, stress, and fuels further litigation
  • Results in court orders not worked out by the parties and which might not be as enforceable as a result

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.  As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Posted on Friday, August 1st, 2014. Filed under California Divorce Mediation, California Family Law, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Mediation, Orange County divorce, Orange County divorce mediation, Orange County divorce mediators.
Permanent link to this article. tagged:

4 Ways to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner During a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhen two people decide to part ways, they may not be on speaking terms with each other, but may still want an amicable settlement that can be done efficiently and quickly without the intrusion of lawyers fighting a costly battle for the rights of their clients.

Whatever your issues are with each other, you need to put them aside prior to coming to the table and proceeding with divorce mediation in Orange County, California. In order to come up with an agreement that both parties are satisfied with, communication needs to be clear, unbiased, and free of emotion (albeit sometimes easier said than done). For divorce mediation to be successful, adopt the following ways to communicate effectively:

1.     Choose a Neutral Stance on Issues

When talking with a mediator, many hot button issues may come up such as child custody, who gets the house, and other financial issues. Either you can take on a stubborn and unwavering approach when addressing these issues or you can ask your partner’s input on the issue, come up with reasonable solutions, and come to an understanding agreed on by both of you.

2.     Listen to Your Partner

Ask your partner to voice up their concerns first before you share your input on it. By taking turns speaking and sharing views on certain issues, the mediator can make an agreement that is fair to both parties. While your partner is speaking, be sure to keep quiet and be attentive to what they are trying to communicate. Even if you do not agree with them, do not interrupt them mid-way. When it’s your turn to speak, they may do the same.

3.     Make Certain that You Fully Understand the Agreement

Neither of you want to be misunderstood while communicating your views. If your partner says something, ask them again to avoid confusion when the settlement agreement is drawn up. Remember to use a respectful tone when asking them to clarify their point. Do not jump on them about something you don’t agree with before hearing it the second time. If you give them respect, they will give you respect in return. Listen to them, ask them again, and only then agree on it.

4.     Present Your Views in an Objective Manner

Just like in a court of law where someone has to provide the judge with proof to prove their client’s innocence, you need to do the same during divorce mediation.  You want the issues solved rather than become bigger than they already are.

In order to do that, you need to present your views on issues objectively. Provide them with evidence to back up your claim. For instance, the issue to keep or sell the house should be dealt with by providing evidence from different real estate agents on the value of the house.

By incorporating this communication technique while negotiating with your partner on issues, you both will be able to agree on a settlement in a good-natured manner.

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”