Qualified divorce mediators are trained to be neutral, but anyone concerned about this issue should interview the mediator before beginning the process.
There are two main neutrality concerns that can be explored.
The first concern is that a mediator will be biased toward a particular party, perhaps because of his or her own past experience. This may be of particular concern if one party feels that he or she will be presented as the villain.
The second is that a mediator will push a particular type of parenting plan or a particular arrangement for spousal support. Some people may be concerned that a mediator may have a preconceived idea of the way things should be handled.
Prospective clients can address these concerns in a phone or in-person interview with the mediator. Good questions to ask might be, “What kind of parenting plan do you favor?” or “How do you handle it when one party is in the wrong?” A truly neutral mediator will explain that he or she does not favor any one kind of plan over another, and in mediation, neither party is right or wrong*, and both perspectives are equally valued.
*This has exceptions – for example, domestic violence, or other illegal activity.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
When two people are at odds with each other, minor problems start to seem huge. When discussions and solutions no longer extinguish the fire, people turn to divorce. There are many different approaches people can take in terms of divorce, with divorce mediation being the most simple, fast, and effective one. If you and your partner have agreed on separating via divorce mediation, here are the questions that you may want to address before proceeding:
1. What Can You Expect during Divorce Mediation?
A divorce mediation procedure consists of the married couple sitting down in a secluded room with their chosen divorce mediator. The divorce mediator, with the consent and involvement of the divorcing partners, works to resolution of all pending issues with the end goal of creating a comprehensive settlement agreement. Divorce mediation is based on mutual agreement on unresolved issues. Therefore, partners need to remain civil when arriving at solutions.
2. Will You Also Need An Attorney?
Many people think that if they are seeking the aid of a divorce mediator, they will not require the services of a divorce attorney. Either during or after a divorce mediator session, you have the right to hire a divorce attorney to help you go over the agreement and spot any irregularities in it, but that is entirely up to you. The attorney may also provide you with valid points to cover in the settlement agreement. If the divorce mediator that you are using is also a divorce attorney, which will help assure that the agreement is drafted correctly.
3. What is the Skill Level of the Divorce Mediator?
The law in most states does not require divorce mediators to hold a law degree. Therefore, when choosing a divorce mediator, be sure to find someone whose is experienced in dealing with two partners who want a calmer and more peaceful process to end their marriage. Another thing to consider when looking for a divorce mediator is to find one who is also a divorce/family law attorney, as they have knowledge of the law and real-life experience with divorce cases that he or she can draw from in working with you to come up with workable solutions.
4. What Issues Are Addressed during Divorce Mediation?
Just like in any other divorce proceedings, a number of issues can be resolved. Some issues that are addressed during the meetings include child support, child custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Unlike in court where these issues would have created tension between the two parties, divorce mediation offers an alternate solution to calling it quits.
5. Do You Need to Have Extensive Knowledge about Finances?
Individuals worry that their lack of knowledge in finances may lead to the other partner getting more in the settlement agreement. Some individuals can fret over the financial assets that the other person may have hidden. Your divorce mediator can assist you in addressing those issues for both of you and explaining the financial ramifications. If you want further information to determine for yourself as to whether the financial terms of your marital settlement agreement are in your best interests, you can consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. The CDFA will update you on your current financial situation and inform you what you may need to keep track of in the future. With the knowledge they can provide you with, you can proceed with divorce mediation with more confidence that you are working out your divorce case in a way that makes the most financial sense for you.
If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues. As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The saying, “Till death do us part,” never really lives up to what it dictates with more partners opting for divorce courts instead of living happily ever after. For those seeking to divorce when divorce is the only remaining option, such parties can choose to get divorced by seeking a divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation. These divorce methods are different from each other in these ways:
What is Divorce Mediation?
The pair who is splitting up hires a divorce mediator to help them establish a settlement agreement. The mediator doesn’t favor one party over the other, but works neutrally with both parties.
Advantages
Helps to maintain an cordial relationship with your partner even after the divorce
Children will not be caught in middle of a child custody battle in the instance you have kids
Speeds up the divorce proceedings
Less expensive
The partners make the decision and not the court
Lets two people handle the divorce in private
Disadvantages
If two people are not able to reach an agreement, some additional money and time will have been spent in the process
An inexperienced divorce mediator may be biased towards one partner
If the agreement is not drafted correctly or if legal problems arise, it can be challenged in court (which can be a problem if the mediator is not also an experienced divorce attorney)
The agreement may not be fair if one partner overpowers the other partner
What is Collaborative Divorce?
In order to avoid going to court, the separating partners can decide to go the route of collaborative divorce, which is a separate system where each party agrees to that system. By doing so, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney trained in collaborative divorce. In addition, there is a financial professional involved that handles all of the financial disclosure work, and generally one or both parties also have a “divorce coach” involved, such as a therapist. In other words, there can be at least 4 professionals involved in the collaborative divorce process.
Advantages
Provides the partners with solutions to reach an amicable settlement agreement
The process is meant to resolve cases peacefully out of court
The couple divorcing are in-charge of deciding what to do with their lawyers advising them along the way
Lets partners address a variety of issues unlike in court
Disadvantages
Unlike divorce mediation where there is generally just the divorce mediator involved, the collaborative divorce process involves multiple professionals, all of which must be paid for their services. As a result, the collaborative divorce process is not necessarily a cost-effective way to resolve divorce cases compared to divorce mediation
If an agreement is not reached, the collaborative divorce attorneys will have to resign from the case and the partners will have to appoint new attorneys, as neither party can hire the same attorney
What is Litigated Divorce?
Litigated divorce is the most common divorce, as the two parties hire separate attorneys and fight in court on the issues of divorce such as child custody and the distribution of assets.
Advantages
Most common divorce procedure
Best for divorcing parties who cannot work together in resolving their disputes
The most appropriate procedure where domestic violence or abuse is involved
Disadvantages
It’s expensive and produces financial distress for the average divorcing family
If the partners have children, child custody battle could turn ugly
Often puts children in the middle of the divorce disputes and causes the most emotional damage to children
Tends to take the most time to resolve
Produces animosity, stress, and fuels further litigation
Results in court orders not worked out by the parties and which might not be as enforceable as a result
If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues. As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When two people decide to part ways, they may not be on speaking terms with each other, but may still want an amicable settlement that can be done efficiently and quickly without the intrusion of lawyers fighting a costly battle for the rights of their clients.
Whatever your issues are with each other, you need to put them aside prior to coming to the table and proceeding with divorce mediation in Orange County, California. In order to come up with an agreement that both parties are satisfied with, communication needs to be clear, unbiased, and free of emotion (albeit sometimes easier said than done). For divorce mediation to be successful, adopt the following ways to communicate effectively:
1. Choose a Neutral Stance on Issues
When talking with a mediator, many hot button issues may come up such as child custody, who gets the house, and other financial issues. Either you can take on a stubborn and unwavering approach when addressing these issues or you can ask your partner’s input on the issue, come up with reasonable solutions, and come to an understanding agreed on by both of you.
2. Listen to Your Partner
Ask your partner to voice up their concerns first before you share your input on it. By taking turns speaking and sharing views on certain issues, the mediator can make an agreement that is fair to both parties. While your partner is speaking, be sure to keep quiet and be attentive to what they are trying to communicate. Even if you do not agree with them, do not interrupt them mid-way. When it’s your turn to speak, they may do the same.
3. Make Certain that You Fully Understand the Agreement
Neither of you want to be misunderstood while communicating your views. If your partner says something, ask them again to avoid confusion when the settlement agreement is drawn up. Remember to use a respectful tone when asking them to clarify their point. Do not jump on them about something you don’t agree with before hearing it the second time. If you give them respect, they will give you respect in return. Listen to them, ask them again, and only then agree on it.
4. Present Your Views in an Objective Manner
Just like in a court of law where someone has to provide the judge with proof to prove their client’s innocence, you need to do the same during divorce mediation. You want the issues solved rather than become bigger than they already are.
In order to do that, you need to present your views on issues objectively. Provide them with evidence to back up your claim. For instance, the issue to keep or sell the house should be dealt with by providing evidence from different real estate agents on the value of the house.
By incorporating this communication technique while negotiating with your partner on issues, you both will be able to agree on a settlement in a good-natured manner.
If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Qualified divorce mediators are trained to be neutral, but anyone concerned about this issue should interview the mediator before beginning the process.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
