When some people are thinking of mediating their divorce, some friends or family might say things like “If you don’t fight for your rights, you’re giving up” or “If you choose divorce mediation, you’re automatically making your partner win.” People in the process of choosing divorce mediation or going through mediation probably heard remarks made to them similar to the ones just mentioned by their relatives and friends. Is choosing divorce mediation really a way for the other person to give up or give in? No, that’s a common misconception that most people have about divorce mediation. In reality, it is the complete opposite of what people perceive it to be.
Divorce Mediation—A Way to Cope
If you pick divorce mediation, you’re not writing off your rights, but are bypassing all the mess that comes with litigation. Instead of spending your time at court quarrelling, you’re seated in a room, calmly discussing what needs to be done and how the property in question needs to be divided fairly. In the room, you’re in control of what you think you should get.
After a few productive sessions, you will be able to come to a resolution quicker and safer, as you’re not putting each other in the spot. Plus, it’s a cheaper alternative to litigation, which is one of its main selling points. During mediation, you will be able to understand each other’s point of view and from where each person is coming from. Does litigation let you make fair judgments about your future? Litigation will drag you down with it, but mediation will empower you. So, how can anyone label litigation as an indication that you have given up.
Why Divorce Mediation isn’t a Sign of Giving Up
Divorce mediation will assist you come to a conclusion that’s agreed upon by both parties. It will let two people warring with each other see the bigger picture and the impact of their decision will have on each other. You will be able to handle your problems with bliss and harmony, which is what you really want after a divorce or maybe you want to look at each other with disdain the rest of your lives. More probably, the first choice will resonate with both of you, as who doesn’t prefer for their matters to be settled peacefully.
Divorce Mediation Is a Stress-Free Method to Get Out of Your Divorce
Divorce mediation is a stress-free method to get you out of your divorce. Through mediation, you will be able to talk to each other about issues plaguing your marriage from the start. It will help you come to an understanding of what to do with the property such as the house or a car after your marriage dissolves. The best part is that you will avoid all types of stress that results when you go through dissolution of a marriage.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Marital settlement agreement is a contract signed by both parties, agreeing on the terms and conditions decided by them during the divorce mediation process. The contract is then made part of the dissolution of marriage order and has the same impact as a judge would have if he or she had decided on who gets what in court.
If the contract is just, both divorcing parties will be content with what they agreed upon during the mediation sessions. However, in the case of a family court, the judge may view the agreement to make a ruling on the fairness of the agreement drawn up.
Normally, the agreement is final, which is a relief for both parties, as the conflicts were put to rest during the divorce mediation sessions. In some cases, the partners may require the assistance of a lawyer if the combined assets are high in value or if minor children are involved. If you’re not facing any such issue, you won’t need a lawyer to assist you negotiate the terms and conditions of the contract and through divorce mediation, you’ll be able to take care of all the major aspects of the divorce.
What Does a Marital Settlement Agreement Contain?
Marital settlement agreement contains important categories that will have a profound effect on your life after the divorce is finalized. The divorce mediator will go over one category at a time during the several sessions that you will have with him or her.
The discussion will be about various issues that need to be sorted out before anything is signed. Some of the issues that are discussed include the division of property, division of debts, alimony, visitation rights, child support, and child custody.
These issues during a litigation proceedings can take days to decide, but not during divorce mediation sessions. The reason for this is that both parties enter the mediation session with a cool head and on the basis of creating an understanding between the two instead of adding more fire to the fuel. Here is a list of issues discussed in the meetings:
Minor Children– Who gets the children, visitations days and time, and other issues are discussed.
Alimony– This depends on the laws of the state you filed for divorce in.
Division of Assets– Personal property such as money, stocks, bank accounts, bonds, life insurance policies, retirement accounts, furniture, clothing, cars, and other assets are discussed. Next, on the list to be discussed is real property such as the house or any stores that you own.
Debts– Both of your debts will be discussed in detail, and then will be divided amongst the both of you. However, the debt must be applicable to you and if you were responsible for it, you should take ownership for it to minimize conflict.
After all of these points are covered in detail, the partners will decide what they want to do and draft the marital settlement agreement.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
How do you know when it’s finally over between the two of you? Taking off your wedding ring is an obvious sign that you’re no longer interested in working on the marriage. So, do you bury it in your closet or sell it? Burying it in the closet will not help you move on, but selling it will give you some composure.
Your wedding ring can be included as part of the divorce proceedings. The fate of the wedding ring will be in the hands of the judge, not you. Well, that is somewhat unfair, as you should be the one to decide the fate of your property, from the house down to the wedding ring. Do you know what?
We agree with you! You should have a say, as it’s your future that’s being decided here. Divorce litigation will be unfair to both of you, and not to mention brutal, if the judge decides to award your wedding ring to your partner. If both of you come to a mutual understanding and decide to go with divorce mediation, your views and opinions will be heard.
How Divorce Mediation Works in Your Favor
Divorce mediation requires your partner and you to be upfront with each other regarding all the financial documents such as pending debts, income, retirement, assets, and property, including the wedding ring. During divorce mediation, you can raise questions regarding the validity of the financial documents presented before you that is if you suspect your partner isn’t disclosing something he or she should.
After everything is out in the open and you don’t suspect foul play, you can raise the question about the future of the wedding ring. Since your partner and you understand the sentimental value behind a small piece of jewelry, you will be better suited to make a decision regarding its fate.
Even though selling the wedding ring is the most chosen option, people have opted to keep the wedding ring to turn it into something new or pass it down to their daughter or son, if they have children. Sometimes, the partners don’t mind their ex not sharing the profit of the ring with them, if they decide to sell it. Therefore, divorce mediation tops the list of ways to obtain a divorce on your own terms and conditions, without harboring any bad blood in the end of it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
In most Orange County divorce cases, there are a lot of different complex things involved, which are intricately linked to the separation and future of the spouses. In such cases, one of the aspects involved is financial. Finances play a vital part in the everyday life of any person, and when it comes to divorce, this issue is one of the most hotly contested ones. Spouses often tend to complain of financial issues during and after divorce, and the best way to avoid such situations is to take the necessary steps to protect yourself during the divorce process.
Here are a few tips on how you can protect yourself financially during divorce proceedings:
· Make Sure You Get Your Joint Credit Cards Cancelled
Cancelling your joint credit cards is one of the most important steps to try and protect yourself financially during divorce. When you have made up your mind to get your credit cards cancelled, make sure you keep your spouse uninformed about the developments. Any information of this act before hand can leave enough time for them to charge hundreds to thousands of dollars for themselves. Inform them of the cancellation after it has been done, and tell them that you intended on doing so because the joint nature of the card meant you were equally entitled to pay for them.
· Make Sure You Take Care Of The Joint Bank Accounts
One of the most common acts done by spouses in divorce proceedings is to clean up the joint bank accounts and hit the other spouse hard with this act financially. To avoid this issue, the best way is to move to another bank and open a new individual amount and take the cash that is rightfully yours from the joint account into the new individual account. After you have done so, it is important that you notify the other spouse of this through a letter. In most cases, the courts will have no problems in such an act as long as it can be proved that the fortune transferred was rightfully yours.
· Have a Talk about Extra Property and Expenses
One of the oldest ways to make sure your finances are protected is by cutting back on expenses. You need to, at some point or another, sit down with your spouse and talk about the unnecessary expenses and how they should be eliminated. An example of unnecessary expenses can be extra telephone lines and cable TV. It is also important to talk to your spouse about the extra property that is deemed unwanted by both, and whether it should be disposed off. All such properties like cameras and extra vehicles will be deemed community property and it will be an uphill task to sell them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When it comes to kids, almost all parents are protective and want to ensure that their kids are left without the greatest worries in the world. Taking that into perspective, when parents decide to go through a divorce, parents want their children to stay immune from the effects of the divorce. This is vital, because one of the parties that is heavily affected by divorce proceedings are the children. It is not uncommon for children of broken marriages to end up with several emotional and psychological issues and so it is vital that parents try and work to keep their children away from their divorce.
Here are 10 tips to make sure your kids are kept away from the effects of your Orange County divorce proceedings:
It is important that whenever you talk to your children, there is no mention of your former spouse in the negative sense. Irrespective of your feelings towards your spouse, the kids will still regard them as part of their family and such comments are likely to affect them mentally.
It is best for you to avoid any kind of arguments with your divorced spouse. Arguments are never perceived healthily by children, and for them to see their two favorite companions in life fight it out will be mental torture.
Don’t talk about legal or financial issues in front of your child.
One of the worst things you can do is use your child as a means to communicate with your ex spouse. To make sure your child is kept away from the toxic effects of your divorce case, it is important that normal communication continues between you and your spouse.
Don’t ask your child questions about your spouse. Kids are suspicious and the wee bit of over indulgence that you show will alert them that you are using them as a spy on their other parent.
Make sure your child meets the other spouse whenever they want. Using child visitation and custody as a weapon leaves your child vulnerable to the toxic effects of divorce.
Don’t tell your child they have to decide who to live with when their parents get divorced. Such a statement is likely to be interpreted by the child as their time of choosing between both parents and that will never go down well with them.
Make it your Job to categorically tell your children that the separation is by no means their fault.
Take your visitations seriously and arrive on time always. After divorce, you should make your child an even greater priority. Not showing up on visitations leaves the children devastated.
Take interest in the activities, working, and conversations of your child during your custodial time. It is integral for you to show your child affection and try to make up for the torment of divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
If your child lives with you, but has to be away from you for periods of time, it can be tough. Even though your child is with your ex, you still feel as if a part of you is missing. Even if your child stays with you for a longer time, you still feel a form of separation anxiety when they are away. Did you know that you aren’t the only one feeling that way?
Your ex and your child feel exactly as you do. No one likes to be away from their kid just as no child likes to be away from their parents. Therefore, you along with your ex and child will have to learn how to manage handovers. Follow these six tips to learn to manage handovers:
1. Understand Other People’s Feelings
When you have to give up your child to your ex, you feel nervous and anxious while the receiving end feels excited. Both parties need to understand each other’s feelings in order to make a smooth transition. Don’t approach the handover with resentment, but know that the other party in a couple of weeks will feel the same way as you do now.
2. Do Not Bring the Entire Family to the Handover
The handover isn’t easy for your child, as he or she will be joining one parent and leaving behind the other. It may be an emotional time for both the parents and the child. Therefore, you need to make it between just the three of you. This means to leave the grandparents, stepchildren, stepparents, and best friends at home.
3. Comprehend Your Child’s Feelings
Your child may be the most vulnerable during a handover. Children will act differently and their behavior may change as the time nears for the handover to occur. You will need to comprehend your child’s feelings and not lash out at them if they feel the need to rebel. It’s preferred that you sit them down, both before and after the handover to talk to them about it. When your child arrives back home, give him or her time to adjust to the surroundings.
4. Do Not Fight with Your Ex
It’s given that your ex and you may not get along with each other very well and you may take his or her outburst against you as a personal attack. The unexpected outbursts or taunts may occur at the handover, which you need to learn to ignore. Remember, the person giving their child away at the handover may say something hurtful to their ex, as they are probably already hurting from inside.
5. Do Not Rush Your Child to Spend Time with You
The parents getting the child may be over the moon with excitement and may want to spend time with them immediately. However, your child may not feel the same, especially on their first day with you. So, don’t pressure your child, but give them time to adjust.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
No matter what stage of the divorce process you are in, the arrival of the new year makes it a great time to make a few changes that will put you and your divorce on the high road. Especially for those in a litigated divorce, the process can make you feel stuck and bogged down. Follow these tips to regain a sense of momentum in your life:
Take care of yourself.
Many New Year’s resolutions focus on losing weight and making more money. But if you are going through a divorce, your number one resolution should be to be to surround yourself with support, kindness and love. Make a standing weekly or monthly date with good friends and family members. The American Psychological Association suggests joining a divorce support group. Having lots of emotions is normal – decide now to start getting them out so that they don’t control you.
If you have children, see a co-parenting counselor.
This is a great resolution for parents in any stage of the divorce process. Even divorced parents who have amicably co-parented for years can benefit from a few sessions with a co-parenting counselor. This allows parents to evaluate how things have been working and to communicate about any areas for improvement.
If you are not using divorce mediation, give it a chance.
Even if you are in the middle of a long, litigated divorce, it is not too late to save money and time by exploring mediation. If you and your soon-to-be-ex are both feeling demoralized by the expense and length of an adversarial divorce, the new year could be a great time to open the discussion about taking a new, less costly and more peaceful path to finalizing the divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce mediation is regarded as the more civil and peaceful way for couples to get themselves divorced. Divorce as a process can leave a sense of bitterness in the couples – divorce mediation on the other hand rectifies this problem by encouraging the couples to solve their issues themselves through dialogue. This means that a sense of cooperation and consultation is likely to begin between the spouses which might not mend their fences altogether but it will stop them from deteriorating further.
Why It Should Work For You?
Mediation is a process that involves no judge – only an Orange County divorce mediator. And the mediator doesn’t decide the case, rather facilitates and encourages the couples to talk their differences out and agree a solution among them. This means the result of divorce mediation depends on each of the spouse. For a mediation to be successful, the mindset of the spouses going into the process matters more than any other thing.
If the spouses go into the process wanting to win, then divorce mediation is unlikely to garner positive results because there will be no sense of cooperation, the spouses will only want to maneuver each other to get the greatest monetary advantage. Yet if the spouses use the same process and go with the mentality of ending their marriage and solving the pending issues amicably, the results are likely to be very different. In such a case, each spouse will be willing to make concessions and accept the rights of the other parties, which will allow the couples to maximize the gains of the divorce mediation process.
What You Need For Orange County Divorce Mediation
Mediation processes are dependent on the discussion and agreement of a solution between the two spouses. This means that if the other party doesn’t agree to the proposed solution, there might have to be a new solution proposed that’s acceptable to that particular party. The most important thing in such a situation for you is to know what your demands are and you should come into the mediation process prepared. If after several attempts a solution isn’t reached, you’ll need the law on your side to make sure you don’t get the rough side of the bargain.
Researching beforehand is another way to achieve it. You should back your point and demand with legal arguments that should be compelling to the other spouse. Another important aspect is being aware of the financial position. Finances take up most of the time in any kind of divorce mediation and you’ll be able to garner the best results of your mediation process if you knew the financial position and thus could easily protect your rights and rightful assets.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Military personnel are considered the protectors of the nation, who lay down their lives to defend the country we love. While all of us have respect for the military personnel that protect our motherland, have any of us wondered if their legal rights are similar to that of a common U.S. citizen? Military personnel have a life that’s for the most part alien compared to the life we have.
Most military men and women, however, do get married like the rest of us and they too can have problems in their married life. Problems in married life usually spell out divorce and there can be instances where divorce is the only option left for such personnel. While the process of family law or divorce mediation is rather hassle free and easy to go through, there can be complications if the dispute involves a current military personnel as one of the spouses.
The Issues They May Face
It should be clear by now that the military personnel have the same legal rights as that of us civilians and are likely to face the same issues we face and maybe more. At the time of the divorce, military personnel can go through issues such as:
Child custody
Child Support
Alimony payments
Division of assets
Rights of Modifications
The Benefits
There are two ways to a divorce available to them, getting a divorce through litigation or getting Orange County divorce mediation. While both are likely to get the desired result of separation and ending of marriage, it is recommended that family law and divorce mediation is used because it is a cheaper and more private for the spouses to settle their differences and agree to a solution and a post divorce agreement. Privacy is likely to be an important consideration for military personnel because they wouldn’t want the respect that comes with being military personnel to be tarnished by any such cases and bad publicity.
The View of the Law
The act that governs how civil matters apply to military personnel is the Service Members Civil Relief Act. It has a provision which doesn’t allow the lawsuits against members of the military that are currently deployed from going ahead. This act is of great aid to military personnel since it protects them in matters such as child custody, alimony payments/spousal support, and even divorce litigation proceedings.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The most important thing for most people is their family. All age groups of people right from the age of infancy to the age of retirement cherish their families. Most families are known to have a certain reputation in the society.
This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.
Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.
When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.
The Effect of Litigation
In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished. Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.
In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.
The Effect of Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.
This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.
The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When some people are thinking of mediating their divorce, some friends or family might say things like “If you don’t fight for your rights, you’re giving up” or “If you choose divorce mediation, you’re automatically making your partner win.” People in the process of choosing divorce mediation or going through mediation probably heard remarks made to them similar to the ones just mentioned by their relatives and friends. Is choosing divorce mediation really a way for the other person to give up or give in? No, that’s a common misconception that most people have about divorce mediation. In reality, it is the complete opposite of what people perceive it to be.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
