When people think of divorce mediation, the first thought that comes to mind is holding hands and walking on the beach. Although divorce mediation is a peaceful process, the two of you won’t be leaving the room as a couple, as it does in fact result in divorce, but on friendly terms. This is just one of the myths associated with it. Here are several more that need to be debunked:
1. “I don’t want to be in the Same Room as my Partner”
Divorce can get messy when two people are at each other’s throat constantly. Therefore, the thought of being in the same room as them can make you tense and believe that there is no way on earth you two could come to an agreement. This is where the mediator steps in. When two people are about to lash out at each other, the mediator works to divert your attention back to the work at hand by helping they two of you make rational decisions.
2. “I think the Mediator is trying to Repair my Marriage”
People assume that a mediator is someone that couples go to get back together. That is the wrong perception of divorce mediators, as they are not therapists trying to repair a marriage. They are not there to reunite the couple, but their main focus lies in coming up with a settlement agreement amicably so that they can move on with their lives.
3. “I believe that the Courtroom is the Perfect Place to Fight for my Kids”
Couples with children who want to claim sole custody of their kids are willing to go to court and stir up negativity and pain for the children caught in the middle of their battle. If you have children, you can seek child custody mediations to come to a joint agreement on what the custodial schedule will be for each parent.
4. “I will just fight for what belongs to me”
You can do the same in divorce mediation except the only difference is that instead of fighting in court about to it during divorce mediation you two will sit together and thoroughly analyze the issues. The constant bickering can be left out, as you both will have a hand in coming up with a settlement agreement that you both are satisfied with.
5. “Mediation is the best Method for Every Divorce Situation”
Although mediation is a preferred process to separate, it is not the ideal process for every situation. If divorce is occurring due to spousal abuse, addiction, or if you feel the spouse is concealing assets. If that is the case, you may want to try the traditional method of seeking divorce.
Divorce mediation compared to traditional divorce is oftentimes a better substitute. Therefore, it is pertinent that these myths be put to rest so people can make a decision that is beneficial to both parties.
If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, contact California Divorce Mediators at (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
In my experience, many wives tend to want to keep the marital house in their divorce settlement, for a multitude of reasons. When there are minor children involved, the primary reason why wives want to keep the house is for the sake of their children, because oftentimes the house is the only home that they have ever known. Moms are very reluctant to want to have to possibly change their children’s schools. They want to maintain some stability in their children’s lives in the face of divorce. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having such views, and it is quite commendable that such parents wish to put their children first.
However, once the initial impact of a divorce filing has taken place, both parties must look at the big picture on all issues of property division, child and spousal support, and incomes. The decision as to whether to keep the marital house has to be a sound one, because it will have financial ramifications for many years to come.
If a party wishes to keep the marital house and there is equity in the property, that party will have to buy out the other party’s interest in the property and likely be able to financially qualify for a refinanced mortgage on their own removing the other party from the mortgage. The mortgage company is not going to simply just remove the other party off the mortgage. The reality is that the other party is not going to be willing to remain on the existing mortgage because of the possibility of default by the party keeping the house, and also because it affects the debt ratio of the other party that will directly impact their ability to purchase their own home.
A party wishing to keep the house must also be honest with themselves and look at what their anticipated monthly budget will be, including support. Home ownership involves payment of the mortgage, property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, and homeowner’s association dues, and those expenses will eat up a substantial chunk of your monthly budget.
Moreover, what about the cost of maintaining the home? If there is a sudden, unexpected home repair such as a pipe bursting or a slab leak, there needs to be some certainty that such repairs can be paid for. If the home is older, the roof may need to be replaced at some point, and depending on where you live, that expense alone could be a few thousand to tens of thousands of dollars.
Finally, there are other regular costs involved in home ownership, such as gardening and cleaning. Do you really have the time and energy to do it yourself? If you don’t, do you really have the budget to afford someone else to do it for you?
These are all important questions to ask yourself when deciding whether you really want to keep the house. A home is more than just a structure, it is the source of past happy memories and emotional attachment, but you must divorce yourself from your house and be able to make an objective decision as to what is best for you financially, and that may include selling the house.
If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues. As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When two people are at odds with each other, minor problems start to seem huge. When discussions and solutions no longer extinguish the fire, people turn to divorce. There are many different approaches people can take in terms of divorce, with divorce mediation being the most simple, fast, and effective one. If you and your partner have agreed on separating via divorce mediation, here are the questions that you may want to address before proceeding:
1. What Can You Expect during Divorce Mediation?
A divorce mediation procedure consists of the married couple sitting down in a secluded room with their chosen divorce mediator. The divorce mediator, with the consent and involvement of the divorcing partners, works to resolution of all pending issues with the end goal of creating a comprehensive settlement agreement. Divorce mediation is based on mutual agreement on unresolved issues. Therefore, partners need to remain civil when arriving at solutions.
2. Will You Also Need An Attorney?
Many people think that if they are seeking the aid of a divorce mediator, they will not require the services of a divorce attorney. Either during or after a divorce mediator session, you have the right to hire a divorce attorney to help you go over the agreement and spot any irregularities in it, but that is entirely up to you. The attorney may also provide you with valid points to cover in the settlement agreement. If the divorce mediator that you are using is also a divorce attorney, which will help assure that the agreement is drafted correctly.
3. What is the Skill Level of the Divorce Mediator?
The law in most states does not require divorce mediators to hold a law degree. Therefore, when choosing a divorce mediator, be sure to find someone whose is experienced in dealing with two partners who want a calmer and more peaceful process to end their marriage. Another thing to consider when looking for a divorce mediator is to find one who is also a divorce/family law attorney, as they have knowledge of the law and real-life experience with divorce cases that he or she can draw from in working with you to come up with workable solutions.
4. What Issues Are Addressed during Divorce Mediation?
Just like in any other divorce proceedings, a number of issues can be resolved. Some issues that are addressed during the meetings include child support, child custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Unlike in court where these issues would have created tension between the two parties, divorce mediation offers an alternate solution to calling it quits.
5. Do You Need to Have Extensive Knowledge about Finances?
Individuals worry that their lack of knowledge in finances may lead to the other partner getting more in the settlement agreement. Some individuals can fret over the financial assets that the other person may have hidden. Your divorce mediator can assist you in addressing those issues for both of you and explaining the financial ramifications. If you want further information to determine for yourself as to whether the financial terms of your marital settlement agreement are in your best interests, you can consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. The CDFA will update you on your current financial situation and inform you what you may need to keep track of in the future. With the knowledge they can provide you with, you can proceed with divorce mediation with more confidence that you are working out your divorce case in a way that makes the most financial sense for you.
If you are planning to go through with divorce mediation proceedings, and you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues. As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The saying, “Till death do us part,” never really lives up to what it dictates with more partners opting for divorce courts instead of living happily ever after. For those seeking to divorce when divorce is the only remaining option, such parties can choose to get divorced by seeking a divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation. These divorce methods are different from each other in these ways:
What is Divorce Mediation?
The pair who is splitting up hires a divorce mediator to help them establish a settlement agreement. The mediator doesn’t favor one party over the other, but works neutrally with both parties.
Advantages
Helps to maintain an cordial relationship with your partner even after the divorce
Children will not be caught in middle of a child custody battle in the instance you have kids
Speeds up the divorce proceedings
Less expensive
The partners make the decision and not the court
Lets two people handle the divorce in private
Disadvantages
If two people are not able to reach an agreement, some additional money and time will have been spent in the process
An inexperienced divorce mediator may be biased towards one partner
If the agreement is not drafted correctly or if legal problems arise, it can be challenged in court (which can be a problem if the mediator is not also an experienced divorce attorney)
The agreement may not be fair if one partner overpowers the other partner
What is Collaborative Divorce?
In order to avoid going to court, the separating partners can decide to go the route of collaborative divorce, which is a separate system where each party agrees to that system. By doing so, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney trained in collaborative divorce. In addition, there is a financial professional involved that handles all of the financial disclosure work, and generally one or both parties also have a “divorce coach” involved, such as a therapist. In other words, there can be at least 4 professionals involved in the collaborative divorce process.
Advantages
Provides the partners with solutions to reach an amicable settlement agreement
The process is meant to resolve cases peacefully out of court
The couple divorcing are in-charge of deciding what to do with their lawyers advising them along the way
Lets partners address a variety of issues unlike in court
Disadvantages
Unlike divorce mediation where there is generally just the divorce mediator involved, the collaborative divorce process involves multiple professionals, all of which must be paid for their services. As a result, the collaborative divorce process is not necessarily a cost-effective way to resolve divorce cases compared to divorce mediation
If an agreement is not reached, the collaborative divorce attorneys will have to resign from the case and the partners will have to appoint new attorneys, as neither party can hire the same attorney
What is Litigated Divorce?
Litigated divorce is the most common divorce, as the two parties hire separate attorneys and fight in court on the issues of divorce such as child custody and the distribution of assets.
Advantages
Most common divorce procedure
Best for divorcing parties who cannot work together in resolving their disputes
The most appropriate procedure where domestic violence or abuse is involved
Disadvantages
It’s expensive and produces financial distress for the average divorcing family
If the partners have children, child custody battle could turn ugly
Often puts children in the middle of the divorce disputes and causes the most emotional damage to children
Tends to take the most time to resolve
Produces animosity, stress, and fuels further litigation
Results in court orders not worked out by the parties and which might not be as enforceable as a result
If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com. California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues. As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When people think of divorce mediation, the first thought that comes to mind is holding hands and walking on the beach. Although divorce mediation is a peaceful process, the two of you won’t be leaving the room as a couple, as it does in fact result in divorce, but on friendly terms. This is just one of the myths associated with it. Here are several more that need to be debunked:
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
