The Many Costs of Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys in Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsSome parties come to divorce mediation in Orange County and elsewhere because of the cost advantages of this process over litigation. This is a valid reason since divorce mediation is considerably more cost-efficient when compared to litigation as there is no need for two separate attorneys and court fees.  As such, the financial considerations are understandably the reasons why people come to divorce mediation. There are, however, other costs as well that justifies considering divorce mediation over litigation.

Cost of Emotions

This isn’t a monetary expense, yet it is a heavy cost that most couples have to pay in the litigation process.  Mediation, on the other hand, is your chance to significantly minimize the emotional costs. Why? Good Orange County divorce mediators are adept at handling the emotional side of divorces and will be good comforters to you. Unlike the aggressive court proceedings, here the mediator will tend to keep a tab on emotions and make sure the mediation is carried out in a peaceful and calm manner. When you are emotionally charged, especially if you have kids,, breaking down emotionally isn’t an option. A good divorce mediator will act as a calming influence in your life and help you get through the rough patch unscathed.

Lack of Attendance on Job/Business

This is a monetary expense just like the financial costs. In court cases and litigation processes, each spouse will have to make court appearances. These court appearances can range from a few to many, as all hearings are usually necessary to attend. The hearing is scheduled after seeing the availability of the judge and both the spouses’ attorneys. This means that the spouses will have to attend the hearings on the date set irrespective of their schedule. In most cases their job and their business will be neglected on such days, and this can be really costly. In contrast, in divorce mediation, the dates for the process are set according to the availability of both the spouses and are flexible to change.

Out-of-the-Blue Financial Hardships

Starting a divorce through an attorney means that each spouse has likely paid an initial retainer fee. The retainer fee is the advance of all the meetings and calls that the attorney will have and charge at an hourly rate. However, it is common in court cases for clients and attorneys to contact one another multiple times. This means a spouse is likely to have very high legal fees.  A spouse may also be needed to pay extra amounts for accountants and other experts that are called in to help resolve the case.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Some Hard Facts About The Current Divorce Process In The United States (PODCAST)

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining some of the hard facts and harsh realities about the current divorce process in the United States.  

How Divorce Mediation Saves Your Family From Financial Ruin (PODCAST)

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce Mediators

Welcome to California Divorce Mediator’s PODCAST explaining how divorce mediation can save the financial future of your children and your family.

The 5 Stages of Divorce Mediation in California

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhat is all the hype surrounding divorce mediation and why should you consider it? The reason divorce mediation is encouraged because it doesn’t create animosity between the divorcing partners. What happens during divorce mediation?  Just refer to the five stages mentioned here and you will get an idea of what happens during divorce mediation:

First Stage: Introductory

The mediator will familiarize you with the process and so you should come with a list of questions in mind to ask. Discuss all the issues that you want resolved. If an issue needs more attention than others, convey that to the mediator. Moreover, the mediator will suggest different ways to optimize effective communication.

Second Stage:  Information-Gathering

Your first session may have brought up many different issues such as finances, children, debts, and loans, among others. If you haven’t brought the documents with you in the first meeting (it’s better to bring them in the first stage), the mediator will tell you to bring them when you visit again. During the second stage, finances are discussed, documents reviewed, and suggestions thrown around. Since division of assets is a critical issue, two or more meetings could be required to come to an agreement.

Third Stage:  Framing The Issues

The divorce mediator will ask the partners to write down reasons of what they want to see in the agreement. Their outline will consist of reasons such as concerns, goals, values, priorities, needs, and interests. After both parties have created the outline, they will discuss it between each other to see if they can come to a resolution. In order for this to be successful, don’t write off the suggestions that your partner gives, but listen to them even if what they are saying doesn’t sit well with you. Most importantly, keep in mind that in order for your partner to consider your interests, compromising on some is necessary. When you cooperate, they may as well.

Fourth Stage:  Negotiating The Issues

With the assistance of the mediator, partners will come up with a few options to solve the issue. They will evaluate each option to determine which one works better. At this stage, the partners will negotiate with each other until they can see eye to eye on a resolution. Towards the end of this stage, the options are decided.

Fifth Stage:  Written Agreement

The mediator will send a draft of the settlement agreement to both spouses to view. If both spouses agree, the mediator will write up the final version of the settlement agreement, which the mediator can submit to the court for filing.  As a precaution, it’s advised to have a lawyer review the agreement before submitting it to the court.  Sometimes, your mediator is a lawyer, but it is important to note that they are not representing either party as a legal advocate in that situation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Basics of California Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce mediation is a popular method used by divorcing partners to settle their differences amicably. The proceedings involve a mediator who sits down with the two parties to discuss and solve issues. A mediator isn’t supposed to support one party over the other.  The mediator is neutral and impartial.

What role does a mediator play then? They are more like facilitators helping you and your partner come up with a settlement agreement. To help you understand what mediation is exactly, read on.

Can Anyone Use Mediation?

Mostly everyone can use mediation to dissolve his or her marriage, except for those who are victims of physical or emotional abuse. If you aren’t a victim of extreme circumstances, you should contact a mediator if you want to avoid a messy divorce. If you are still unsure about mediation, you should know that this method has many benefits.

What are the Benefits of Mediation?

Divorce mediation can provide you and your partner with numerous benefits such as these:

  1. It’s cheaper than litigation
  2. Both parties, together, decide what goes into the settlement agreement
  3. Mediation is confidential, no record is kept of the sessions
  4. It’s a collaboration between both parties so both parties leave satisfied
  5. Both parties can still visit a lawyer for additional advice
  6. Instead of the court controlling the process, both of you control it
  7. Mediation improves communication between the two of you, which helps you avoid conflicts in the future

In addition, it’s important that they compromise and not stay rigid when deciding on a solution to resolve an issue. Also, remember that mediation will only be successful if both partners are equally willing to put their differences aside and discuss issues.

Tips to Make Your Mediation Sessions a Success

If your partner has suggested that you both should try mediation, don’t brush the suggestion off. Instead, research on what it is or talk to a mediator to find out more. Most sites will tell you that divorce mediation is a powerful process that actually works and they are right.

However, the process won’t work if you visit the mediator with a negative mindset to attack every suggestion your partner gives you. Use this time to discuss everything that’s on your mind such as property disputes, child support and child custody, among others. Hence, if you are seriously considering this option, follow these tips to make your sessions a success:

  1. Involve yourself in the discussion
  2. Don’t hold back, voice your concerns
  3. Compromise on certain issues
  4. Remember that the primary goal is to resolve issues, not create more
  5. Keep your tone pleasant
  6. Don’t lash out at your partner
  7. Be patient and listen

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

How to Divide Assets during a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsOver the years, you and your partner acquired many things together, but now that you are in the midst of a divorce, it’s time to divide the assets. Deciding on who gets what is a difficult task to tackle successfully. Depending on the number of years you were married, dividing the assets can become an even more complex process. Where there is property, there will be disputes.

How to Avoid Angry Partners? Play Nice

Disputes over assets have been going on for years between divorcing parties. The outcome of fighting over assets isn’t a satisfactory one, as by the end of it, both are bitter, exhausted, and may not have gotten what they really wanted. Their lawyers probably fought ferociously to get their client the best deal, but one person’s lawyer was just a better arguer. So, is there a better way to handle the division of assets? Of course, there is.

Both of you can sit together and make a list of all the assets in a good-natured way. Usually, partners use their attorneys to send the other partner a message, but that only makes things worse and may even delay the process. Instead, coming up with an agreement together will help speed up the divorce proceedings. When both parties refuse to meet up alone then they should go for divorce mediation.

Hire a Divorce Mediator

When both partners refuse to see eye to eye, they may need a push in the right direction. They need the assistance of a divorce mediator to facilitate communication amongst them. Through divorce mediation, both parties will be able to come to an agreeable resolution regarding the distribution of assets. Later, they can take it to a divorce lawyer for a second opinion. However, if you choose litigation, the process of dividing assets such as house and car will differ.

Dividing a House and a Car

In many circumstances, judges can award the house to the partner who has primary custody of the kids. If children are not involved, dividing the house is a major issue which most couples solve between themselves or by putting it on the market. The next issue that arises is dividing the cars.

Regardless of who owns the vehicle, in a marriage they become marital property. The first thing that people look at is to figure out the car’s market value, which can be determined by Kelly Blue Book or other online car valuation websites.  If you own a leased car, the car is more of a financial liability than an asset.  In addition to dividing cars and the house, you need to divide household items.

Dividing Retirement Benefits and Co-Owned Family Business

Working people often don’t believe that their partner is entitled to their retirement benefits. However, this is a common misconception because just like with vehicle ownership, retirement benefits are community marital property. With joint businesses, a person can buy their partner’s share or provide them with financial compensation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

6 Factors That Will Make You Want To Pick Divorce Mediation Over Litigation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIf your marriage is in trouble and you are thinking of separating permanently from each other, are you thinking of choosing litigation or divorce mediation? If your answer is litigation, after reading this article, you may change your mind. Read over the six reasons why divorce mediation reigns supreme over litigation:

1.    Why Divorce Mediation is the Right Option

Even though you are not on speaking terms, you both want something out of this divorce. Litigation will not do that for you. Litigation picks sides with lawyers warring with each other to provide what is best for their client. Fair enough, if you are ready to come out as a loser, one party may leave the courthouse distressed, in tears, or anger. So, what will satisfy you both? Divorce mediation. Through divorce mediation, couples can come up with their own terms and conditions regarding all the vital issues regarding the dissolution of their marriage.

2.    The Ball is in Your Court

You with your partners will sit down with the mediator to talk about the best ways to tackle issues plaguing your marriage. Everything from finances to the custody of kids (if you have any) is going to be discussed. Unlike in litigation where the lawyer is influencing your decision, the mediator will sit there to listen to both of your arguments, and then reach an agreement. You will have a say in the proceedings and what the mediator needs to omit.

3.    Your Bank Account is Going to be Preserved

Are you ready to put all your savings on the line? You probably are not, but if you choose litigation, expect to shell out a lot of money. On the other hand, there is divorce mediation, a simpler and less costly method to call a marriage off.

4.    The Length of the Sessions Are Flexible Based on Needs

With divorce mediation, the parties have flexibility with the mediation sessions.  If progress is being made in a particular session, then there is flexibility to keep the session going.  If the parties are emotional or the issues in a particular session are tough on the parties, then that session can be ended, to come back another day.

5.    The Divorce Process is Shorter

With litigation, you can expect the divorce proceedings to be lengthier. You want to move on with your new life as soon as possible, but that can be difficult if coming to an agreement or a litigated resolution takes months or years.  In mediation, the parties ultimately have the power to reach a resolution more quickly than a litigated divorce.

6.    Divorce Mediation Yields Good Results

Most importantly, each session will provide you with some closure with issues looming on your mind. Your partner and you will be able to come to an amicable agreement and will likely still be able to remain friendly and have some respect for the other.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Top 5 Tips On How To Prepare For Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediators orange county; California Divorce MediatorsOnce you are determined that divorce is your only option in your situation, you should consider divorce mediation.  Divorce mediation is an amicable, cost-effective way to resolve your divorce without destroying the financial future of your family and avoids the stress and emotional turmoil of traditional divorce litigation.  Here are some important tips to effectively prepare for a successful mediation of your divorce case.

1.  Make The Decision To Mediate

Both you and your spouse should make a determination as to whether you can mediate your divorce case.  The only way that divorce mediation can be successful is with both spouses wanting to mediate.

2.  Get Your Financial Records Organized

Once you have decided to mediate your divorce, the next step is to get your financial organized.  That includes current bank account, mortgage, retirement account, and loan monthly statements.  Also, start taking an inventory of all of your household possessions and belongings, and all other assets and debts of the marriage.  Finally, pull together your pay receipts, income tax returns, and other documentation concerning the parties’ incomes.  If you or your spouse is self-employed, gather corporate tax returns and profit-loss statements.

All of these records will be necessary to complete the financial disclosures that are required to be done and served in all California divorce cases.  Such records also help determine the financial and property issues to be addressed in mediation.  The sooner those records are available, the sooner that mediation can proceed.

3.  Create a Mission Statement For Your Divorce Mediation

Create a “Divorce Mission Statement” about what your goals are for the resolution of your divorce case. It will help you focus on how to achieve the best resolution of your case in divorce mediation.  You and your spouse should really give some thought about such statement, which will help focus the purpose of the mediation and the issues that demand the most priority.

4.  Make Your Children Your Top Consideration

Be sure to be honest with your children about divorce, but talk with them and your spouse together about it.  Also, limit personal feelings and anger with your spouse in front of your children, to avoid any lasting negative impact on them.  Above all, make sure that you and your spouse show your children that they are loved and supported.  You and your spouse will always be parents to your children, and while they are still minors, you will both need to communicate and work together to co-parent effectively.

5. Research Divorce Mediators Before Choosing One

It is important to know that not all persons who do divorce mediation actually have training in mediation or in divorce mediation.  Moreover, many persons currently mediating divorce cases are not even lawyers.  Although it is currently not a requirement, you generally want the person who will mediate your divorce case to have the legal background in family law and divorce to be knowledgeable in this area of law and the experience to handle the issues to be addressed in mediation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Why Choose Divorce Mediation over Divorce Court?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsFor most divorce cases, divorce mediation can usually be the best way to resolve disputes amicably and out of court.  Here are several reasons why.

Time and Scheduling

Court sessions can be lengthy and time consuming, but the judge may only listen to what you have to say for sometimes less than 5 minutes and you may get only a few minutes to argue your position.

Divorce mediation, on the other hand, depends upon you.  You are in control of the schedule being followed and the issues being discussed.

Reduced Costs

Court appearances and traditional litigation can result in quite a hefty legal bill. Even if no progress is made, the attorney will usually bill you by the hour and this may make the entire affair a lot more expensive than your anticipation.

Divorce mediation lets you control the total costs of the process which is usually a fraction of what you would have paid in case of court proceedings.

Flexibility in Decision-Making 

In court proceedings, you may be required to make the decisions about everything from the settlement to child custody on the spot, often in front of a crowded audience and the outcome may be unpredictable as well.

On the other hand, divorce mediation lets you decide with a calm and relaxed approach as per your own schedule, because these are decisions that will affect you and your family for the rest of your life and a little rush can cost you in more than just dollars.

Privacy and Confidentiality

In courts, not only your family matters are exposed to a room full of strangers, but all court files are also public and available online and anyone can see them.

Divorce mediation can be fully confidential.

Avoid Emotional Turmoil

Divorces in courts are stressful in nature- there may be arguments, heated discussions and even personal attacks that may result in emotional wounds for the spouses as well as children that take years to heal.

Mediation is faster and a much better option for families as discussions are held in the presence of a skilled mediator and healthy communication is encouraged between both parties. Plus, if things don’t work out, there is always an option to go to court.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Are There Tax Implications When Selling The Marital Residence?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsUnder current Federal tax law, if you have lived in the same house for two of the last 5 years as your principal residence, individuals are exempt from capital gains taxes of up to $250,000 in taxable profits on the sale of your house, and $500,000 in taxable profits for married couples.

For any profits above these amounts, capital gains taxes are assessed of 20% would be assessed, which married couples would be equally liable for.

There are occasions where one of the spouses involved in a divorce wishes to “bifurcate marital status” while their divorce is pending, meaning that the Court can restore the parties to single persons while the rest of the dissolution case is still pending. For example, one of the spouses may wish to remarry, and they cannot legally do so without first terminating their marital status.

However, the parties must first determine the approximate amount that their residence has appreciated in value since they bought it, because if one spouse decides to keep the marital residence and marital status has previously been determined, that spouse would be considered a single person for purposes of state and Federal tax laws and thereby only be entitled to the $250,000 tax exemption instead of the $500,000 tax exemption. The tax implications are be substantial and should be considered in any settlement negotiations.

You should always consult with your tax professional before making any decisions in your divorce case.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”