Divorces can be hard for some parents especially when kids are involved. It becomes even more hard when the affected parent is the non-custodial parent. Staying away from the children can be mentally and physically daunting. Every parent wants to spend as much time as he/she can with their children. The custodial plan is made to ensure that the non-custodial parent gets to spend quality time with the kids.
One of the important parts of custodial plans is the parenting schedule. Sometimes, the time is so short, it really becomes difficult for the non-custodial parent to have quality time with his/her child. There are ways to change the custodial plan and increase parenting time.
Court Order
Courts can order a change in the visitation hours if it finds that the non-custodial parent deserves to spend more time with his/her children. A court will decide whether spending more time with the non-custodial parent is in the child’s best interests.
Violation of parental plan
If the custodial parent is deliberately trying to limit your visitation time or preventing you from seeing your children, you can use the evidence to increase your visitation hours. In some rare cases, it even leads to a change in custody.
Both of you are equally responsible for paying child care and if the case arises where you are paying more than you should, then naturally your visitation hours should also increase. You can build a case claiming that since you are paying the entire child support by yourself, you are eligible to be the custodial parent. But it may not work every time since there are many reasons why the custodial parent pays less than he/she should.
The custodial parent is the primary caretaker of the child and should provide basic needs like food, clothing and shelter. If in case, the custodial parent is unable to provide any of the basic needs, the custody of the child can be changed. Or the non-custodial parent can be granted more time that he/she can spend with the child.
Conclusion
Visiting hours helps non-custodial parents spend quality time with their children. However, the time can be increased if there is evidence that the given time is not enough for the non-custodial parent.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are many emotions brought by a divorce. This is especially true when the couple has had a bad time in their marriage. It is normal to go through feelings such ad fear, fury, sadness, and anxiety. However, you need to remember that the degree of emotions will slowly subside with the passage of time. So, when you are undergoing a divorce process it is better to be calm. So do not get agitated as this would only spoil your health. Studies have shown that people who are composed during such times are better equipped to manage the difficulties that accompany a divorce process. Do not continue a blame game with your partner as nothing would come out of it eventually.
Stop being resentful
Divorce should not be looked upon as a means of settling scores or a way to take revenge against your spouse. If you regard the resolution of your marriage as a battle, there is a high possibility that the divorce process will be more expensive and time-consuming. It is recommended to go for divorce mediation so that you can avoid the long and tiring courtroom proceedings and end up hating one another even more. Studies have also proved that it can help to support the needs of the kids as well as getting emotional satisfaction.
Focus on a smooth split
In many cases, it is not unusual that you do not want to talk to your spouse from whom you intend to part soon. However, despite the ill-feelings, aim for a smooth split. Cooperation, as well as proper communication, will help in making the process healthier and less stressful for both the parties, Moreover when you seek the help of a psychologist and a divorce mediator, you and our estranged partner can avoid conflicts and bitterness.
Do not neglect your health
This is a phase when you must take good care of your health. Speak to your family and friends for comfort and support. Alternatively, the idea of joining a formal support group also makes sense as they help you to cope up with your pent up emotions. There are many people who begin a fresh chapter after their divorce by taking up new hobbies or indulging in activities they had not attempted before. Even you can start doing the same. Make sure to eat well and be physically fit. When the divorce gets nasty, your spouse and you start despising one another even more. Now, that is not good as you still have joint responsibilities as parents. So, try to be amicable while parting since it is good for your sanity, purse, and kids.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is a time of great hardship and both individuals have a hard time dealing with the reality. However, for some it is easier to accept the fact more than others. For young couples, who haven’t stayed married for a longer time, dealing with divorce is relatively easier than for gray couples. For gray couples, a divorce is more than just a physical separation from their partner. It is a new way of life and for some it can be very tough. Also, there is the question of property and asset separation which is more likely to be much more difficult for gray couples than for young couples.
Mediation is commonly used in divorce cases to ensure that the whole thing goes smoothly. But mediators might use different approach for young and gray couples because the issues are different.
Mediation for young couples
Lawyers who mediate young couples will often focus on the importance of marriage rather than a divorce. Often, mediators will offer couples to go for a separation instead. Since, the marriage period is small, a separation might help them understand what it means to stay apart from each other. Also, mediators will discuss the pros and cons of getting a divorce at an early stage. If the mediator becomes convinced that reconciliation is not possible, then he will focus on the advantages of getting a divorce. It is expected that younger couples won’t have children or much property and therefore, the divorce becomes much easier.
Mediation for gray couples
Gray couples have spent a longer time in marriage and their decision to divorce must be a strong one. However, mediators will often ask couples to reconsider the case and look for options to avoid a divorce. Most gray couples will have children and their assets and properties will also be huge. On top of that there will be the issue of taxes. So, overall, things like child custody, property division, alimony, tax and debt will play a major part in the divorce.
Conclusion
Mediation is important for every couple planning to get a divorce. However, not every couple will require the same type of mediation. For younger couples, the approach will be slightly different than it will be for gray couples. Things like huge assets, child custody, tax and debt won’t be a big issue for young couples as it will be for gray couples. Mediators must consider every factor before mediating.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Nowadays, divorce has become a common issue and couples who are unhappy with the marriage head for a divorce. Mediation plays a big part in divorce proceedings. Often, if the couple have not undergone a mediation program, the court will appoint one for them. But court-appointed mediation does not work as well as mediators who work separately. One of the biggest reasons is that court appointed mediators are given a time limit and often that limit is not enough to complete the mediation process properly. Mediation is given so that couples understand the divorce proceeding and what is required from them. In some cases, mediation processes also end up saving the marriage.
In most cases, one person acts as the mediation lawyer for both individuals. However, in some cases, two mediators are used.
When one of you is a close friend of the mediator
It could happen that one of you are good friends with a divorce mediator. So, it’s possible that the mediator favors one of you over the other, although mediators go out of their way to remain neutral even in such situations. Also, having close friends mediating your divorce might not be a good idea if there are things about you which probably you don’t want the world to know.
When one mediation does not work
Sometimes, couples might feel that one mediation is not enough or that the mediator has not done a good job. One of the primary objectives of mediation is to enlighten the couples about the divorce proceeding and what should be their best course of action. If a mediator fails to do that, then couples have the right to seek out the help of another mediator. However, they should first check the reputation and background of the second mediator they are hiring.
Conclusion
Mediation is an important part of divorce and should be taken seriously. However, in certain cases, one mediator does not work and therefore a second one may be required. It usually happens if the primary mediator is a family friend or at least close to one of you. You can also choose another mediator if you’re not happy with the service of the first one. It is important to know when you need a second mediator for the job. Spending unnecessarily on another person is not a good idea especially when you’re going to face financial damage during your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Most people avoid talking about their divorce as much as they can because it is certainly not a happy story that they would want to talk about. While some marriages end in divorce, it is also not true that every divorce is a bad divorce. There are ways to have an amicable divorce and here’s 5 ways in which you can do it.
Talk to your spouse
It is very important that you talk with your spouse about the divorce. Instead of having heated arguments, try talking about it amicably. Sometimes, divorces happen due to misunderstandings and maybe if you clear the air, there will be room for another chance. Even if the divorce takes place you’ll at least know that you tried your best to prevent it.
Hire a good mediator
The main job of a mediator is to ensure that your divorce takes place in the best way possible. Instead of opting for a court-appointed mediator, hire one on your own. There are good mediators available in California and you can choose whomever you like. Often, a mediator succeeds in calling off the divorce but that mostly depends on the willingness of you and your spouse.
Support each other
Support is very important when it comes to divorces. It may not be entirely your fault that you’re getting a divorce but remember that any negativity that you show will affect you in the end. So, it’s better to support each other not only financially but also emotionally as well.
Give each other time to adjust
A divorce brings a change in a person’s lifestyle and to adjust to the new way of life every individual need’s time and space. When a divorce has been confirmed, give each other the time to cope with what the future holds for them now.
Don’t rush into it
A divorce is not to be taken lightly and should not be rushed. Be patient and consider the changes that you and your spouse will have to deal with. Often, rash decisions lead to bad results.
Conclusion
A divorce does not necessarily have to end on a bad note. It can be done amicably provided you and your spouse are ready to listen to each other. Hire a good and experienced mediator to help you go through an amicable divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce mediation is an attractive process for California couples that seek to resolve their disputes amicably without the need to have a public battle in court. However, there are still a lot of things that people do not know about divorce mediation and common misconceptions that exist about the topic.
Mediation is the best option
The whole point of an amicable settlement without the divorce going to court sounds attractive to most people, but divorce mediation is not always the best option for couples. This is especially true for couples in which one partner has a history of emotional abuse, and for couples that need to untangle and split a complex web of possessions between each other.
Pets cannot be a part of the mediation process
This is completely untrue as the California government recently passed a law concerning the division of pets in a divorce. The mediator can advise the couple on who is most likely to receive ownership of the pet or how they can work out a pet-sharing deal. This prevents people from stealing pets from their former partners and allows couples to settle the dispute amicably.
Mediation does not require individual lawyers
The mediator is typically a neutral party whose job it is to guide both parties in the divorce. However, it can be a complex process, and not seeking an attorney can be a very foolish thing to do unless you have complete knowledge of the law. You should definitely have an attorney who looks over the final mediation document before it becomes official. Both the parties are advised to have independent attorneys to safeguard their interests.
Mediation is not better than litigation for children
Most people assume that divorce is always going to be bad for their children no matter what. They assume that litigation and mediation are the same, but this could not be farther from the truth. By its very nature, litigation is an adversarial process that promotes a climate of tension, ill will, and stressful court appearances. On the other hand, mediation promotes a culture of cooperation and a desire to settle disputes amicably without excessive volatility. Mediators are trained to be concerned about the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved, and it can be considered to be a first step to the future where the parents will no longer be together.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Co-parenting is usually seen as a responsibility shared by divorced couples, but there is more to co-parenting than a simple responsibility. Co-parenting can also involve someone else other than the parents. When a parent and another person take care of the child, it is also known as co-parenting.
Do what is best for the child
When it comes to child custody or any other laws where children are involved, the California court always rules in favor of the children. If you are at a crossroad where you need to take important decisions regarding your children remember to do what is best for the children. Because it is the children that you will be ultimately worried about.
Don’t talk bad about your ex in front of the children
It’s natural to talk bad about your ex in front of your children especially when you have gone through a bad marriage. But always remember that in doing so it is your children who will get affected. Your ex will remain an important part of the responsibility towards your children. When you criticize your ex, a certain negativity develops in your children which can be dangerous in the long run.
Never tell your ex you are the better parent
At times, you will feel the urge to show your children that you are better than your ex but it’s a good idea to stay away from that notion. Saying that the other parent is bad won’t make you look like the best parent in the world. Moreover, such things don’t work in a court of law in California.
Establish rules and family values
Family rules and values are central to every parenting. Teaching your children the importance of family life can be a great way to keep things organized in life. Moreover, it will also help you and your ex maintain an amicable relationship. As a parent your main aim is to create a healthy environment for your children where they can grow and learn life’s important lessons. So what better place than their own home.
Make plans for in-law and family visits
After getting a divorce, having the support of your in-law and family members is very important even though you may not want to see them. It’s good because the children should not feel alienated after you get your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is never easy, no matter how amicable it is. There are numerous assets and properties that need to be divided, not to mention custody of children and other aspects. In California, a person that files for divorce has 3 ways to proceed – mediation, litigation and a collaborative divorce. There is no universal best choice among the 3 and each method is suitable for certain circumstances.
Mediation
Mediation is the process where a divorcing couple sits with an impartial and neutral mediator to decide on the division of assets and properties. While both parties have to hire their own lawyers before a settlement is agreed, the mediator does not have to be a lawyer. Mediation allows for spouses to split rather peacefully and consequently benefit the children. Cost is reduced along with complete confidentiality of all matters discussed. Mediation is best for amicable divorces where the spouses aim to remain in touch and maintain a good relationship.
Litigation
Litigation is the most common and oldest divorce format used. This is because in over 80% of divorce cases, the decision is made by one of the parties and is not mutual. In this case, mediation and collaborative divorce might not work as both parties are working against each other. Despite common believes, litigation often ends with an out-of-court settlement. The couple works with lawyers to come to an agreement regarding custody, division of assets, along with alimony payments and liabilities. Once a settlement is formed both parties sign it and a judge also signs off on it.
If a litigated divorce does go to court, all final decisions are made by the judge including decisions regarding assets and custody. It is recommended in most cases to keep the divorce out of the court as it could have a negative impact on the children and lead to more animosity among the parties. Litigation is the most public and the slowest of all 3 options.
Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, the decision to get a divorce is often mutual and there is no animosity. Both parties hire an attorney and decide on the terms of the divorce. Unlike litigation, the attorneys in a collaborative divorce try to help couples come to a mutual agreement. Collaborative divorcees can also hire financial planners that will help plan their lives through the divorce and after. Therapists and coaches may also sit with the spouses to helps them resolve issues. In a collaborative divorce, there is no chance of going to court. In fact, documents are signed before the proceedings stating that the attorneys must withdraw if court is threatened or the settlement fails.
Both mediation and collaborative divorce are only recommended when both parties are on equal footing and have a mutual understanding. Spouses that doubt their partner’s declarations or do not understand the various assets on hand (such as finances) should choose litigation. The same applies when substance abuse, physical or mental abuse is involved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Earlier, there were many circumstances when both the spouses needed to agree for divorcing each other. There were demerits in this system since the divorce used to get delayed or became a complicated process. However, there are many people that still believe the same conditions prevail even today.
In reality this is not the case. It is possible to get divorced even when your spouse does not agree to divorce you. Contrary to the common myth a divorce is no longer stalled or delayed when consent is not given by one of the spouses.
A marriage can be considered to have collapsed when one of the partners desires to go through with a divorce despite the other spouse not giving his or her consent to it. So, what are those specific scenarios that enable a spouse to do so? The spouse needs to establish that the marriage has broken down by providing evidence of mental or physical cruelty or adultery against the other spouse.
When such a scenario prevails, the spouse who desires to get divorced can begin proceedings with or without the consent of the other party. If such an act can be proved by a spouse, a court can hear the plea of the plaintiff and grant him or her divorce. But when you have applied for the divorce and are the party responsible for being cruel to your spouse or having committed the adultery yourself, and are responsible for the marriage breakdown, it is required by the court to live separately for one year minimum before you can apply for your divorce. The reason for doing so is that your own mistakes cannot be used as the cause for your divorce.
It could also be possible that you are unaware of your partner or spouse’s whereabouts, but can still apply for a divorce and obtain it.
But before doing so, you need to demonstrate that you have tried to the best of your abilities to find your spouse or partner. When you could not find your spouse, it is possible for you to ask the judge to issue a substituted service order. This court order means you are told what should be done by you to make sure that the missing partner gets to know that you are applying for a divorce, But a judge would only allow you to go ahead with the divorce provided he or she is satisfied that all possible efforts have been by made by you to track your spouse.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorces often involve the division of property, asset and other financial holdings including businesses. Often, one of the divorcee ends up getting more than they wished for. Needless to say, the other person ends up losing more than what they would have wanted. Since, no one wants to end up as the other person, couples try their best to avoid financial complications during divorce proceedings.
One of the best ways of avoiding financial complications is mediation. A good mediation lawyer should be hired by every couple going through divorce. Mediation will not only help you with your finances but also with your mental and physical state during the divorce.
Some of the ways in which mediation can protect you from financial damage are:
Financial insight
A mediation lawyer knows and understands the risks involved when huge finances are involved in a divorce. Mediation will give you a financial insight of the issues that will be faced by you during the proceeding. An understanding of the issues involved in asset division is critical in determining how much damage you’ll be able to sustain. Financial mediation will help you negotiate the division of property and assets in the best way possible.
Your future financial life will depend heavily on your current financial condition and if you lose more than you have to, it might have a negative effect on your overall finances. Mediation helps you take an informed decision that protects your financial assets from unnecessary damage.
Better communication and negotiation
Mediation is essentially a form of communication and through communication a means of negotiation develops that is particularly helpful in divorce proceedings. A mediation also helps you maintain good relations with your spouse which is another essential thing in a divorce. Having a bad spousal relationship during the divorce proceeding can be one of the reason why you lose out on financial assets. Understanding your partner through effective communication is a useful strategy that everyone should apply.
Conclusion
Financial damage incurred during divorce is a common phenomenon and is an important issue every divorcee needs to deal with. Mediation is the best way to stop unnecessary financial damage and protect assets and property from unnecessary depletion to pay for high attorney’s fees and costs. Mediation is especially important when a huge amount of finance or business is in question. No one wants to end up as the loser and mediation ensures that it is a win-win situation for both parties.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorces can be hard for some parents especially when kids are involved. It becomes even more hard when the affected parent is the non-custodial parent. Staying away from the children can be mentally and physically daunting. Every parent wants to spend as much time as he/she can with their children. The custodial plan is made to ensure that the non-custodial parent gets to spend quality time with the kids.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
