Strategies for Dealing with an Angry Spouse in a Divorce

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsWhat with the obvious anguish and stress of a shattered life, the involvement of a toxic spouse can make it even harder for you to deal with your divorce. The stubborn and aggressive attitude of a resentful partner can not only promote additional conflicts and disputes in your already damaged relationship but can also considerably prolong the litigation process due to frequent disagreements by him/her over trivial matters. However, there are several ways in which you can effectively deal with the undue outbursts and tantrums of your angry spouse and make the divorce process smoother for the both of you.

Control your own emotions

It is natural to respond negatively to volatile situations that target your self-esteem or reputation. However, you must understand that you will only make the situation worse by indulging in a similar behavior as your aggressive spouse. Since you are already seeking help for controlling the excessive negativity of your spouse, it is safe to say that you are the more sensible and reasonable of the two. It is, therefore advisable, to keep your calm and stay neutral, especially in situations where your spouse seems to be deliberately instigating a fight. 

Motivate your spouse with money

Although in a fit of rage, it is difficult to use one’s rationale and distinguish wrong from right, you can always try to speak with your angry partner about the financial repercussions of a prolonged and hostile divorce. Money is an effective approach to motivate your spouse to refrain from lashing out at every single issue and creating undue disagreements over things that really do not matter. Make him/her understand that by being a little reasonable, he/she can effectively save thousands over the litigation process. 

Consult a therapist

A professional therapist or divorce counselor can effectively help you identify ways of dealing with the actions of a manipulative and controlling spouse. By talking openly about your concerns and pent up feelings, you will be able to free yourself from the burden of unresolved emotions and become better equipped to handle the frustration of dealing with your aggressive spouse. A therapist can also assist you with ways and strategies of calmly and wittingly responding to the unreasonable actions of your difficult spouse and save the day.

Although dealing with an intimidating and difficult partner is not easy, with a few behavioral changes in yourself, you can effectively handle the constant tension in your relationship.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation