How To Cope With A Divorce That You Don’t Want

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorney in orange county; California Divorce MediationMaking a decision on whether you want to get a divorce or not is an important one since it will have ramifications and repercussions that are far-reaching.  However, it is important to understand that California is a no-fault divorce state, meaning that you do not have to cite a fault for the divorce. The only basis for a California divorce is either “irreconcilable differences” or “incurable insanity.”  So filing for divorce in California is much like suing for divorce, meaning it’s just like a regular lawsuit.  So from a legal standpoint, the other spouse cannot stop the divorce even if they do not want the divorce.

Sometimes, Orange County divorce mediation cases that come into our offices include one spouse who is willing to end the relation, while the other one is not, which means that the other spouse is then dealing with an unwanted divorce.  So what do you do if you are getting into a divorce that you don’t want? Here is a low down.

Don’t Try Hanging On

If there one thing that you should realize is that if one of the spouse has decided to end a relation, it no point trying to hang on. Taking the decision to getting a divorce is not one that people take lightly and if your spouse has taken on, they must have deliberated. The first thing you can do to deal with an unwanted divorce is accepting the fact that your relationship has almost come to end. The faster you understand it the better it is for you.

Don’t Be An Ostrich

Accepting the fact that you are going to get divorced mentally without working for it practically will get you nowhere. Often spouses that don’t want to be a part of a divorce will start to act like ostriches. Trying to shy away from the situation and wanting to evade it as long as and as much as possible is not the way to go about things. Choosing to bury their head in the sand and ignore the details of their case is not a good thing, because it won’t change anything.

Often spouses like those individuals might initially refuse to go into divorce mediation, expecting that the divorce will be delayed, though this generally not what occurs.  If the spouse puts off mediation, the other spouse can easily go to court for a litigated divorce and then the divorce will be out of your hands.

You Shouldn’t Let Your Divorce Dictate Your Future

Yes, you didn’t want to go through a divorce.  Yes, it is likely to hurt when you leave a spouse that you wanted to spend your life with. But choosing divorce mediation is not the end of the road for your life. Learn from the experience and repair yourself for a long life ahead. Nothing starts or ends with a divorce except you relation and that shouldn’t change.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”