How A High-Conflict Divorce Can Be Peacefully Settled

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediationGoing through a divorce is not easy.  It can be nothing short of emotional torment. The torment in addition to being emotional is more mental, with a feeling of failure and guilt overcoming the spouse now and then.

Sometimes this emotional torment can be turned by the spouse on one another, leading to high conflict in divorce. These divorces where the spouses despise one another and fight against one another at every given outlet are known as high conflict divorces. Typically these divorce cases are dealt with in family law courts. But, they can also be peacefully solved through divorce mediation.

Here are a few steps on how a high conflict divorce can be peacefully settled through mediation.

The mediator should outline how the parties control the outcome of their case and life

In divorce mediation, the mediator keeps the atmosphere cordial and they need to talk to both of the spouses and tell them how they are in charge of their lives.

Knowing that their actions and coordination with one another will determine their future life will allow them to look towards setting aside their conflicts and ensuring that they are able to work with one another.

Let them vent their frustrations and then focus on moving forward

Another way that Orange County divorce mediators can use to calm the high conflict couple down and bring them to peaceful conversation is letting them vent their anger out. How much hate can a person express? Let each of the spouse say whatever they want, once they have said all that they can, they will have nothing inside left to say, making sure that they come to the table and talk with their spouse.

A little cooperation spares a future of problems

Lay down the time span it would take for them to get a divorce through traditional divorce litigation and how long will it take for them to get a divorce through Orange County divorce mediation. When you are dealing with couples in a high conflict divorce, to make spouses work towards an out-of-court divorce requires cooperation and motivation.  Mediators should point out that working with a purpose towards resolution will end their case more quickly and allow them to move forward without having to deal with the other spouse sooner.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”