Parenting Tips To Follow During & After Divorce

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsEven when parents go through a divorce, the first thing on their mind is always the best interests of their children. Parenting is one of the most important aspects in your post-separation and post-divorce life and making sure that your children are not neglected once the two spouses have separated is a big challenge.

When parents go through divorce mediation as opposed to contentious litigation, they are better able to decide on effective co-parenting procedures, visitations and custody arrangements. Some of which may involve the children living apart from you.  Here are a few tips to help you pull it off effective parenting:

  1. Stay connected with them using emails, video chatting, and cards.  While the world may have moved on from the old ways of communication, a card or a letter that’s inspirational and funny can really melt the heart of your child. You child needs to know that he or she continues to be the center of your affection even after your divorce.
  2. If your child is not a teen yet, they will have different needs that you’ll need to care for despite not being there with them. The simplest thing you can do is to tell them a bed-time tale before they sleep, on the phone. It would be best if you each have the book that is being read so that each of you can turn the pages like the other making it a more interactive, loving experience.
  3. Keep in contact with them frequently.  Your primary aim as a parent during and after divorce is to make sure that your child is comfortable, safe and secure. You can only do that if you have frequent contact with them.
  4. Remember you are not the only parent to the child. If your child is in the custody of the other spouse after your divorce, it is crucial that you realize that and refrain from trying to run your child’s life the way you want. You should have the belief in the other spouse to take good care of your child and not try to assert too much control on what happens at the other parent’s home.
  5. To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.