Tips for Communication for People Participating in Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorney in orange county; California Divorce MediationThere are a large number of people who shy away from participating in divorce mediation simply because they are concerned about their ability to negotiate for themselves in the process. This is one of the main reasons why people that have an opposing spouse who is well versed in law and confident on finances shy away from mediation.

On the other hand though, they are aware that a better outcome to their divorce is available they agree in a a divorce mediation as opposed to fighting a case in litigation.  For such people the value of communication in mediation is beyond belief. Here are a few tips to help people communicate effectively in mediation.

Take the Mediator’s help

A divorce mediator in Orange County or elsewhere has an important role to play in a mediated divorce. While the decision and the discussions are done between the spouses, the role of a mediator is to channel their discussion into something constructive. If a spouse has issues with their communication abilities they have go up to the mediators and tell them their fears.

A mediator will typically tell the spouses that a mediation is not a litigation case, you don’t need to be very good a communicator, you only need to get the core of your message across to the other party. Once you do that, the decision is to be taken by the two spouses in combination and hence unless the weak communicating spouse is not happy with the solution, all they need to say is a “NO”.

Rise Above the Fear and the Worry

Going through a divorce is a stressful time nonetheless and in between such stress, one of the spouse may go overboard with his to her comments. The key for you is to not react and stand on your stance steadfast. The trick to communication is looking beyond the threats of the other spouse and looking at the fear behind their statements. Unless you are very good at communication, retorting back to such comments will lead the argument nowhere.

Get Strategic

When you are communicating you need to be strategic with your communications, looking to achieve some goals each time you speak.

  • Determine ways that you can use to get your point clearly across to the other person.
  • Be clear on what reaction you want out of the other person having said a certain word or a phrase.
  • The key to negotiation is give and take, identify what he wants the most and exchange it for what you want the most.
  • If you don’t like the offer reply back with an uncompromising No.
  • If the opposing party responds with a No, give them a little time to let your offer set in and then ask them again.

Communication is an important part of Orange County divorce mediation, but the most important part is your viewpoint. As long as you are clear on that you will be able to protect your interests in mediation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”