Secrets to a Successful Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorney; California Divorce MediatorsGoing through a divorce can be an experience full of torment, trials, and tribulations. How do you get through a period in your life when you are ending a relationship that you started to last the distance? The emotional, mental and psychological ramifications of going through a divorce can be huge.

Can you avoid it? While you may not be able to avoid the emotional blow of quitting a relation meant to go the distance, you may be able to avoid the stress, fights and bitterness of a court divorce by choosing divorce mediation.

Here are a few secrets to being successful in divorce mediation:

Be Aware of Your Wants Beforehand

This may sound pretty plain and simple. I mean who would go into divorce mediation without knowing exactly what they want, yet this is more often than not the case. When you go into divorce mediation, the first thing to do is to make sure you know exactly what you want to leave the mediation table with. Once you aware of that, you can be more direct in your negotiations.

Create Room for Bargaining

Divorce mediation is at the end of the day nothing but a simple negotiation. When you are the negotiation table with both of the spouse’s futures at stake, negotiating your way is the key to success. Negotiations are run on bargains and compromises, make sure you have your focus on something that you want and you play the other stakes in the Orange County divorce mediation around.

Check Your Style

Know yourself in and out, are you someone that can easily be riled up or bullied? Are you passive or are you aggressive? Sometimes the opposing spouse may want to put you off your game by making provocative offers that can make you angry. Remember mediation is all about patience and cooperation. Keep your anger under check and make sure you continue to be reasonable throughout with the discussion.

Put the Child Before You

As spouses each of the spouse may want their future secured the best through the mediation resolution, yet the key to success is letting the needs of the child involved take precedence. If going through a divorce is hard for you, you should think what would you child be going through? When you are mediating with the other spouse and looking to get a resolution, make sure you decide things that go in the child’s benefit first.  For example, you should first and foremost decide on the custody arrangements and the visitation schedules for the children.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”