Don’t Be Reactionary & Defensive In Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorney in orange county; California Divorce MediationDivorce is not something that goes down well with most people. Even spouses that have gone through an Orange County divorce mediation will have an underlying hurt and sense of disappointment as a result of their divorce. Increasingly though, couples have started to look for a more cordial way to end their relation. Orange County divorce mediation has subsequently gained popularity with the process designed to work as a result of the cooperation between the two spouses.

Yet, for divorce mediation to work, the most important thing is for the spouses that are taking part in it to remain calm and collected. Only when a spouse is calm, will they be able to cordially discuss the solutions to the problems with the other spouses.

If you are looking to make the most of your Orange County divorce mediation you need to stay away from being reactive, angry, emotionally charged and defensive. Often when the arguments start to fly in, spouses can sometimes get into a reactive mode. You need to get out of the reactive mode to be able to make progress in your mediation communications.

How can a Mediator Help?

When spouses tart to get emotionally charged and slide into their reactionary shells, it is the job of the Orange County divorce mediator to ensure the proceedings go along cordially. Here are a few tips they can achieve this without offending either one of the spouses.

·         Stay Calm

You are the ring master; you are the person who is conducting this discussion. Hence you need to stay calm and composed irrespective of the state of emotions around you. By being collected, composed and calm, you can help the spouses mellow down and better react to one another.

·         Be Attentive

Usually it takes a little attention and empathy to calm a ragging, reactive person down. When either of the spouses starts to get into their reactive mode, all you need to do is talk to them, make them feel as if you care and are listening to what they have to say. Once the spouses feel as if they are being heard they will calm down and start to react better to the Orange County divorce mediator’s attempts.

·         Engage Them

The last thing you can do to spouses going through mediation is make them feel left out of the process as a result of their reactive antics. Make sure you engage the spouses, ask them for their proposals to solve the divorce issues. If they are having trouble doing it, ask them to list down the primary things they would want addressed in the solution. Every step of the way you need to continue to remind them that they key to the solution and no agreement can supersede them.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”