Communication with Your Soon-to-be Ex During a Divorce: Good or Bad Idea?

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce is definitely not one of the happiest decisions one has to make in his or her life. Divorce is the sign of failure for two people who couldn’t adjust with each other, and could not achieve the goal of spending their whole life together. There is a reason divorce cases and divorce mediations are highly charged affairs. The reason for it is the emotionally charged state of the spouses due to an underlying feeling of guilt, shame, and/or hatred. This sense of hatred and competition is carried into the proceedings with fights being raged over financial and asset issues.

On the contrary though, some spouses try to end their relations amicably and many succeed. Once the couples have taken a divorce and the proceedings are underway, is it wise to communicate with the ex spouse? There is no right or wrong per se in communicating with your spouse. Communication requires willingness, and if either or both the spouses want to talk with one another, they can communicate with each other without it being a taboo. Contrary to bad actually, in some cases, communication with your spouse needs to be your way forward in life.

For example, if your marriage with your ex produced children, then throughout the divorce, and even after that, it is recommended that you have a cordial and civil relationship with your ex. Divorces that involve children affect the children the hardest, and to make sure this isn’t the case, the spouses need to highlight a united cordial front. The welfare of the child and their lack of mental suffering are important aspects which can only be ensured via effective parental communication between the two spouses.

All in all, communication is neither good nor a bad thing, the things discussed, the tone taken, and the perceptions that each harbors for the other are aspects that influence conversations. These are the factors that tilt communication towards being good or bad. Any relationship that has cordial relations between two people is likelier to have a better affect on the people around the couple. This is particularly important to save the well wishers of the couple from bearing the brunt of the differences between them.

Orange County divorce mediation is one of the two most commonly used ways by couples to end their relationships. While litigation pits the spouses against each other and harnesses the competition among the spouses, mediation is all about making sure the spouses sit together and end their relation amicably by reaching a mutually acceptable solution. As far as divorce mediation is concerned, the communication between the spouses is a good thing, since it ends the animosity between them and allows them to take their problems to a resolution.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”