5 Myths about Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsWhen a person decides to opt for divorce, they stand at a cross road of which method to choose to end their relationship. Ending a relationship is hard, which makes this one of the most important decisions that either of the spouse can take in their lifetime. Divorce mediation and litigation are two very different methods. When one thinks of divorce litigation, the focus usually goes to judges, lawyers, courts, and court fees. This is what litigation is all about, yet with mediation, things are very much different. A large number of people aren’t aware of the process of mediation and hence tend to believe in the myths going around.

Here are the 5 leading myths about divorce mediation:

·        Mediation won’t work for us, since it requires couples of amicable terms, and me and my spouse quarrel daily

This is definitely a rumor and is far from reality. Orange County divorce mediators are trained to perform in volatile situations and develop an atmosphere of calmness  around. Divorce mediation is all about having the couples talk it out; there is no such requirement of the couples being on amicable terms. More often than not, divorces are bitter; if amicability was a requirement, none of those divorces would have been successfully and peacefully transitioned to divorce through mediation.

·        I can’t have an attorney if I decide to mediate

Different spouses approach divorce mediation differently. Some like to come alone into the mediation process, while others want their attorney to participate with them. Divorce mediation is made to help the couples have flexible out of court settlements between themselves. This however by no means disallows the use of attorneys. In many cases, spouses do use their attorneys for the mediation discussions.

·        Mediation requires a large upfront payment

This is one of the leading misconceptions that have been doing the rounds regarding divorce mediation. Divorce mediation, just like other forms of mediation, is a process that is affordable. Typically, the mediators are likely to charge you an hourly basis pay with flexibility of timing allowed at your discretion. This allows the spouses to increase or decrease mediation time according to their budget.

·        Children get hurt irrespective of the method of divorce

This is not true. Litigation is a process that encourages competition and pits one spouse against the other, thus enhancing the sense of bitterness between the spouses. This when viewed by the child is likely to affect him/her adversely, while in mediation the circumstances change considerably. Divorce mediation is all about communication and compromises allowing for more cordial spouse relations and hence more peaceful affects on the child.

·        Mediation takes as long as litigation

Quite the contrary to this myth, using mediation allows the spouses to save time. Divorce mediations are purely between the spouses, which means that the amount of time is likely to be less than court cases which have lots of legal procedures, etc. The fact that the parties talk directly to each other allows them fast pace the resolution speed.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”