Understanding the Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County Divorce mediators; California divorce mediatorsHave you been fighting or arguing with your partner a lot lately? If your marriage is headed towards a divorce, you need to adopt an amicable way to handle this issue. Going through a divorce is not a pleasant experience for either party, as many issues hidden underneath the pain come up.

Both parties fight for property, custody of children (if they have any), and other issues conflicting their marriage. Although the two parties may be at odds with each other, a level of decorum still needs to be maintained. In order to go forward with the divorce as mature adults, people should seek the assistance of a divorce mediator to establish a settlement agreement. Prior to seeking a California divorce mediation firm, they need to understand the dos and don’ts of divorce mediation.

The Do’s of Seeking Divorce Mediation

1.     Understand the Process

The California divorce mediators will explain you the mediation process in detail. During your visit, the mediator will tell you about the process for filing divorce papers and inform you the length of the process.

2.     Comprehend the Role a Mediator Plays in the Divorce

Although the mediator may be a lawyer, their principal role is to help the parties negotiate with disagreements and interjecting options when asked based on what the law might be on a particular issue.  Their job is to come up with a settlement agreement that both parties can agree on.

3.     Differentiate between the Role of an Attorney and Mediator

The mediator’s role is not to determine what each party should keep in the divorce.  Therefore, both of you can seek the assistance of an attorney after the settlement agreement has been signed, as it is your legal right to do so. Before putting your “John Hancock” on it and making it permanent, you have the option to get it reviewed by an attorney just as a precaution.

The Don’ts of Seeking Divorce Mediation

1.     Refrain from Making Derogatory Remarks

Partners should avoid throwing nasty remarks at each other. You both will need to compromise on some issues while letting some issues go and coming to an understanding with each other.

2.     Avoid Bringing up Past Issues

During the mediation process, old wounds may open up again such as the partner’s past cheating habits. Throughout the process, you may have a multitude of emotions running through you, which you need to keep bottled up or a compromise won’t be reached. If you are not able to refrain from lashing out at your partner, it is better to end the session and start another day with a cool head.

3.     Avoid Being Difficult

In order to end the process successfully, you need to oblige to the requests of your partner and mediator. This means that you need to disclose all the assets. If you hide something and the partner finds out later, there are legal ramifications and penalties under the law that may come into play.  It is better to be transparent in the divorce mediation, which will ensure honesty and trust and help foster fruitful settlement discussions.

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”